Dealing with d***heads

How to manage relationships with people who drive you nuts.

There are literally billions of people on this planet and we can’t get on with everyone. However, we are often forced by circumstance to work, study or share a house with people who drive us nuts. So, we have to learn how to deal with it somehow.

10 tips on managing relationships with people who drive you nuts

• Ignore them. This is actually one of the biggest weapons at your disposal. It may be difficult and it may require counting to ten, but it’s worth it. A technique known as medium chill can be helpful when dealing with difficult people. This technique is all about being unemotional and flat in your response to the person. If they yell at you, your response is: 'Yeah, yeah, hmmm...' as if you are listening to them but not getting over-emotional about it. If they are nice, you do the same thing. If they are funny, you are just as noncommittal. This way, the person knows that you just won’t engage with them on any emotional level, good or bad. So they often get bored and find someone else to bug.
• Think about whether you’d rather be right or happy. If you’d rather be right, you can argue with this person from sun up to sun down and get nowhere. If you'd rather be happy, you can be noncommittal in your answers, refuse to be drawn into arguments and have some peace and happiness.
• Wait it out or walk away. The situation may calm down or the person may annoy you less if you do this.
• As hard as it might be, try to put yourself in their shoes. Maybe they are super loud and irritating because they are really insecure. If you try and put yourself in their shoes, you may find dealing with them becomes easier.
• Kill them with kindness. They may be so unnerved by you suddenly doing such nice things for them that the whole drama stops. Plus, doing all the nice things will make you feel better about yourself as a person anyway.
• Don’t discuss controversial issues with them, even if there is a truce. A talk on religion or politics could swiftly turn things down a bad road.
• Try and see some humour in the situation. Weird and annoying people are everywhere, but perhaps you can laugh with them or at the ludicrousness of your situation.
• Accept the person for who they are. They aren’t going to change, so work around that rather than hoping they will change. People only change for their own reasons.
• Talk to them. If they seem to have a particular problem with you, maybe sit them down and have a conversation as to why. Maybe they are mistreating you because you did something to them that you were unaware of.
• Vent about it. It’s no good to keep all the stress inside. So chat to friends and family.