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Porn vs. Real Life Sex

The difference between porn and the real world


Written by SpunOut | View this authors Twitter page and posted in life


"Always practice safer sex, and that means using a condom. You should never feel pressured into having sex without one."

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More and more people are watching porn because it has become so much more accessible. And although many people may feel that watching porn is harmless, there is the possibility it can give an unrealistic view of what real life sex and relationships are like.

The reality is that real life sex is nothing like how it is portrayed in porn or Hollywood movies. How often do you see a plumber come to work covered in baby oil, and fake tan? Or a housewife walk around semi-naked while tidying the house? Err…. Never.

While most people can separate fantasy from reality, there is the chance that due to watching porn some may have expectations of sex that just cannot be met in real life. If you feel like your sex life just simply does not live up to the Hollywood movies, then fear not… you’re not alone. It’s impossible to live up to an ideal that doesn’t even exist.

Remember, porn stars are actors, and what looks great on screen may not work as well in real life. There are huge differences between real life sex and porn, and we look at some of them below.

1. Consent

In porn, people are always up for sex. This is not always the case in real life, and it is important that all involved consent to sex, and do not feel pressured into having sex. Likewise, make sure you're partner is fully consenting. If they are not, you need to respectfully understand their decision and not pressure them to change their mind.

Real people versus those in porn In porn, the men and women look nothing like how people look in real life. The women are all thin, with large pert breasts, perfect nipples, while the men are all tanned, muscular with huge penises. In real life people come in all shapes and sizes, have cellulite and lumps and bumps. This is perfectly normal, so try not to compare yourself to those you see in porn, as this can leave you feeling insecure. Not to mention that in porn both the men and women are often wearing makeup from head to toe, and the room is lit with clever lighting that hides any lumps or bumps.

2. Body hair

In porn, both men and women seem to be waxed to within an inch of their life. Because of porn many men expect women to be completely hair free, and as a result many women may feel pressured to remove all their body hair. However in real life people are hairy, and it really is up to each person to decide if they want to remove their hair or not.

3. Erections

Porn makes it look like guys can get a hard on easy peasy and can last for ages and ages. The men also seem to have huge penises that go on forever. But don’t worry, if you don’t match up in the size department, as the majority of people don’t and most porn stars have penises which are much longer than the average.

It’s different for everyone and while porn actors appear to be able to get hard at the drop of a hat, this is not always the case in real life. If you are having problems getting an erection, it is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. If it continues to be a problem, it may be worth visiting your doctor.

4. Anal sex

In porn, anal sex is all the rage and it seems like everyone is doing it. However, in real life not everyone is having anal sex or having sex in different positions. Porn would have you believe that sex is not enjoyable unless you do it standing on your head, up against a wall, and with as many people as possible. Again, this is not always the case. It's great to be adventurous but many people like to have sex in the missionary position and in a bed, and this is ok too. 

5. Foreplay

Funny enough… a woman isn't going to become aroused just because there’s an erect penis in the room. In order to become aroused or to come, the clitoris needs to be stimulated. For anyone out there having sex with women, this means lots of foreplay.

6. Moaning & groaning

In porn you often hear the woman wailing like a banshee as she comes. Once again, this is all acting. So don’t be worried if your partner isn’t as loud as their porn counterparts.

7. Dirty talk

Some people like talking dirty, some don’t. Again it comes down to personal preference. Plus lots of people find some of the language used in porn to be derogatory. Unlike porn, not everyone in the real world will like being called 'bitch' or 'whore'.

8. Condoms

Often porn stars have sex without using a condom. This does not mean that it is ok for you to have sex without a condom. Porn stars undergo regular STI checks to ensure they don’t pass on any infections. always practice safer sex, and that means using a condom. Remember that condoms are the only form of contraception that protects against the many STIs out there. You should never be pressured into having sex without one.

9. The ‘Cum shot’

The highlight of most pornos is what people in the industry call the ‘cum shot’. This usually involves a man ejaculating somewhere on someone else's body such as a women's boobs, or a man's face. Contrary to what porn might have you think not everyone will find someone ‘cumming’ on their face sexy. Some people will enjoy it, while some will be completely turned off by it. It all comes down to personal preference.

Remember: The age of sexual consent in Ireland is 17. If you're over 16, you can consent to medical treatment including any treatment or tests needed.

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Published May 29th, 2013
Last updated October 28th, 2015
Tags porn sex sexual health
Can this be improved? Contact editor@spunout.ie if you have any suggestions for this article.

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