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If you are to take part in a threesome, make sure it's a safe experience.

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Remember that the age of sexual consent in the Republic of Ireland is 17 and the age of sexual consent in Northern Ireland is 16.

If you are to take part in a threesome, make sure it's a safe experience for everyone involved and that contraception and respect are both part of the experience.

What is a threesome?

A threesome involves getting sexually intimate with two people rather than just one person. Threesomes can involve any combination of guys and gals. They often consist of a couple experimenting with another person outside of their relationship. Some people find threesomes to be enjoyable, for others it is an uncomfortable or upsetting experience.

You may feel under pressure by your partner to have a threesome because your other half has seen them on porn, films, or television.

However, you should never feel pressured into doing something that you don’t want to do.

Top tips for keeping it safe and enjoyable

  • Keep it safe. Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard it all before, but seriously keep yourself protected. Like every sexual encounter it is important that you practice safe sex, and that means using contraception, even during oral sex. Remember that condoms are the only form of contraception that protects you against both pregnancy and STI’s.
  • Do be aware that you’ll need to change condoms if you are switching partners during the threesome. Otherwise you could end up with some pretty nasty infections.
  • Only do it if you want to do it. Not ‘cause you want to keep your girl or guy happy or because other people say it would be great craic. You do not love your partner any less because you do not want a threesome.
  • Respect your partner. If your partner tells you that they want things a certain way, don’t ignore it during the threesome. That’s pretty uncool and will likely affect your relationship too.
  • Think through reasons why you want a threesome. You don’t want to end up regretting it!
  • Be clear about why you are doing this. Are you looking to spice up your sex life? Or is this a last ditch attempt to keep your partner interested? Only you know the answers to these questions, but it’s best to be honest with yourself. You should never do something to keep one person happy.
  • Pick a code word. Anything you like can work as a code word, but the code word is your way of saying that you want to stop the threesome and get out.
  • Remember that threesomes are something that some people take part in, but are by no means something that everyone is taking part in. So don’t feel pressurised to get involved, only if you want to!


This article was edited on Sunday March 24th to amend some of the language used, the substance of the article remains the same. This edit was reviewed by a relevant health professional.

Tags: relationships sexual health safer sex

Deciding when to have sex

Your choice, when you're ready. Don't ever feel pressurised.

Condoms

Everyone should carry a condom if there's any possibility of sex.

Saying no to sex

Don’t be afraid to say no to sex or to say no if you feel pressured to go further than you’re comfortable with.

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Published February 12, 2013
Updated October 23, 2013
Author:
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