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I thought I was invincible: Why I quit smoking

You're never too young to feel the negative effects of smoking. Just ask Cassie


Written by Cassie Delaney | View this authors Twitter page and posted in opinion


This is an opinion of a young person and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of SpunOut.ie. It is one person's experience and may be different for you. If you'd like to write something for SpunOut.ie please contact editor@spunout.ie.


"Smoke damage, in my mind, affected the mythical creatures of the Wild Wild West, and I, a 24 year old active young woman had no concerns about my 10-vogue-a-day habit. But I was wrong."

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Cigarettes have always been my friend. And like a good friend, they’ve been by my side through the best and worst of times. They were always there to psych me up before a meeting, help me relax during a break, distract me from studying and be my wing woman in a crowded beer garden. In a similar vein, they’ve been there through the worst of times. The hangovers, the headaches, the crankiness, lack of concentration. But still, like a friend, I depended on cigarettes to always be there for me and to be my “get out quick” card for many a sticky situation.

That’s why if you had told me two months ago that I’d be one of those anti-tobacco enthusiasts, I’d have rolled my eyes whilst rolling a smoke. At 24 years of age, I knew the effects of smoking. I’d read every packet warning under the sun and seen all the “One in Two Smokers” ads. I knew the effect it would have on my skin, hair, teeth, lungs, mind, liver and bones. And it's not that I didn’t care, I just didn’t think I was old enough to be affected.

Smoke damage was something that happened to older men. The type who smoked 20 John Player Blue a day and washed it down with hard liquor. Smoke damage, in my mind, affected the mythical creatures of the Wild Wild West, and I, a 24 year old active young woman had no concerns about my 10-vogue-a-day habit. But I was wrong.

The effects of smoking on my body

One day I just collapsed. My body just shut down for a few minutes and stopped working. When I was first in the hospital I remember being embarrassed telling the doctor I smoked. I subconsciously knew that it was relevant. The problems and pains persisted for weeks. Headaches, aches, cramps, vomitting and excruciating pain. All as a result of living like I was immortal. The scariest moment came when a doctor warned that there was potentially long term damage to my ovaries and if I continued with my lifestyle, I’d likely end up infertile.

I decided to quit smoking as a way to regain control over my own body, mind and future. It was obviously not easy and it still isn’t. But it was a major relief. Like the calm after the storm, I realised the true extent of my nicotine dependency. For the first few days I had chronic headaches and cramps as the toxins left my body. I had mood swings and crankiness a plenty. I had hunger pains and sore throats and the shakes and my-god-if-I-could-just-have-one-more moments. But even after a few days I noticed a dramatic difference in my wellbeing. I could sit and write for longer periods of time. I slept like a log and woke up without cottonmouth.

Exercise then became a vice. Now I know what you’re thinking, if you we’re like me two months ago I would have switched off here if I hadn’t already. But stick with me. I didn’t own a pair of runners either.

I started going to the gym. I found a lovely small pay-as-you-go one to ease myself in. And it was hell. I’ll not lie. When I first ran I could feel the effects of smoking in my chest. I was wheezy, and dizzy and felt like there was a tightening in my chest that would never ease up. I couldn’t even run a kilometre without extraordinary breathlessness. But hey, I kept going and found that I actually really enjoyed it.

How I overcame the challenges of quitting

Now I’d be lying if I said there were no setbacks. Of course there were. Drinking and smoking are like Ant and Dec. As soon as the beer came out, cigarettes would magically appear on the table like a gift from the Marlboro Gods. One particularly raucous night with cousins resulted in an inordinate amount of nicotine consumption, washed down with craft beers and pure and utter joy. But my god. The next day. If you’ve never experienced a smokers hangover, I can’t really begin to describe the discomfort. All I can say is I surfaced from bed two days later, significantly lighter.

Other setbacks came on tough days or rainy days. A coffee felt weird without my small slim friend and sitting in traffic was torture without the stuff. It took a lot of willpower but I coped by reminding myself that I just had to refuse one cigarette at a time. It wasn’t a case of making a massive decision to never smoke again, it was about making loads of micro decisions. Similarly, if I did succumb to temptation, I didn’t brand myself as a failure. I simply accepted it and pushed myself harder to continue to say no to each craving.

Practical things also helped. Keeping a bottle of water to hand. Maintaining fitness goals. Trying new places that I didn’t associate with smoking and memories of fun.

When I look back on it now, smoking was a crutch. Yes it was great to be able to escape awky momos. It was fab in smoking areas to get to chat to people. It was a way of gathering my thoughts and having alone time. But like the charmed Princess who’s realised it was her own power all along, I’ve seen that cigarettes are nothing but a bit of tobacco, nicotine and paper.

Getting help and support to QUIT smoking

  • Visit Quit.ie for tips on how to stop smoking.
  • Call the Quitline Freephone no 1800 201 203 to talk to someone who understands and can help you quit.
  • Check out the Quit Facebook page to read stories from others who have quit smoking and to share your own.
  • Check out SpunOut's articles on quitting smoking
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Published September 30th, 2014
Last updated October 27th, 2015
Tags quit smoking addiction smoking
Can this be improved? Contact editor@spunout.ie if you have any suggestions for this article.

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