The state of being happy
Grace suggest some steps for finding happiness
This is an opinion of a young person and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of SpunOut.ie. It is one person's experience and may be different for you. If you'd like to write something for SpunOut.ie please contact email@example.com.
It’s not something you can force, but it is something you can get in a matter of moments, if you want it. Quite simply, it’s a choice - not always, but in the vast majority of cases you can chose it for yourself here and now.
Happiness just seems like something that you always procrastinate with. Especially within the secondary school years, you might say things like “Once the exams are over, then I will be happy”, “All I want is to get away and be free, then I'll be happy”, or “When I can go out with my friends in college and do what I want, then I will be happy”. We all do it, we all say it and we all feel it from time to time.
But in reality, happiness is most relied upon in times of struggle. It’s not something we have to wait to hit us. It’s something that we create within ourselves for ourselves, and in turn, inspire others around us.
So here's a few tips for finding happiness in the moment right now:
These are the best years of your life
Maybe not for everyone, but there isn't any reason why they shouldn't be among the best. You're young and your whole life lays before you. Take some of the opportunities that are available. Getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to change. By doing one thing everyday that scares you, you're embracing the here and now without even knowing it.
Stay in the moment
Deep breaths are key to any panicked situation. It helps to realise that stress and worry actually don't do anything but upset us. They don't pass our tests for us or make sure the oven is off. There is no real point to them but to keep us alert and since it's not very common for bears to start chasing us, we don't really need those hunter gatherer instincts. Yoga, meditation and any exercise at all keeps us alert and present as well as keeping stress and anxiety levels low.
Even a smile goes so far. A circle of positivity is created with every nice gesture. Holding the door for one person inspires them to do it for another. Some studies say that kindness can have a direct connection with how long you live, and unsurprisingly kind acts can add years to your life, as well as releasing hormones that improve confidence and happiness.
Be with someone you really like/love
Don't date someone just because you feel you need someone there or so you can say you have a girlfriend or boyfriend. These kind of relationships don't last and only lead to heartache for you and the person being lead on. It's far better to go for someone you feel is really going to add to your character as a person. Even if you feel you can't find someone now, it will happen.
Know how beautiful you are
You don't need to look like Cara Delevingne or Zayn Malik. If you think and believe yourself to be beautiful, even if it takes you a while, the positivity and confidence this brings you, brings happiness too. Confidence and smiling are perhaps after all, two of the most attractive features a person can have.
Three good thoughts for every bad
Our minds are strange and one negative thought actually needs three positives to over ride the negativity. It may seem like hard work but it's so worth it, even a good memory will do the trick
Your mind mimics your body, stand all day thinking, stressing and worrying, your face shows it so here's a few simple tips:
Power poses: even in front of the mirror in your bathroom before school
Strike a wonder pose or puff out your chest really forward, roll your shoulders as far back as possible or even just stand with your feet a little wider apart. These positions create feelings of control and collectiveness, which can then be used in our lives. It doesn't matter what your doing, if you pretend you're doing it right, everyone one else thinks you are.
Place a pen sideways in your mouth and stretch your lips back
Make sure they don't touch it. Stay like this for a few seconds. The hormones and endorphins released have amazing effects, as well as making you happier, they give you more energy and help control stress levels
This displays a level of confidence and intrigue. Conversations tend to be more interesting and last longer with eye contact.