Tips for dealing with rejection
We've all had a crush on someone who didn't like us back
This is an opinion of a young person and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of SpunOut.ie. It is one person's experience and may be different for you. If you'd like to write something for SpunOut.ie please contact email@example.com.
As human beings we are bound to find others that we feel we connect with on a different level than our friends. In plain English, a crush. Many of us have had experience with crushes and the feelings they bring, and if you haven't yet it will! Even though having a crush can be a great experience for exploring who attracts you and what you look for in someone, they can sometimes not go as planned. Rejection can happen. When this does, it can feel like the end of the world. Even the word rejection seems harsh. You may be having thoughts like, 'What's wrong with me?' and 'Will I ever find someone else that I'll like?'
Right off the bat, it's important to note that the vast majority of people you know have liked people like you have and it hasn't worked out either. But they got through it because, despite what you may believe - it isn't actually the end of the world.
This is a normal part of life that everyone has or will go through at some point. These helpful tips may guide you through the tough times of your love life!
Most importantly, don't be afraid
Telling your crush your true feelings is very daunting. Although you may feel like it's the last thing on earth you want to do, it's usually the best thing to do. It will be a weight off your shoulders and no matter how it turns out - you will feel better.
Don't beat yourself up
If your crush doesn't return your feelings you may feel as if there's something wrong with you. Just know that this isn't true - just because the person you like doesn't see you in a romantic way, it doesn't mean you can't be loved. Most of the times these things work out for the best and maybe you're better off as friends.
If things really don't work out
If the worst case scenario is that your crush doesn't want to be friends after you telling them, I wouldn't worry that much. They aren't worth it if they don't even want to be your friend anymore. After a while you will realise this, if not straight away. They weren't that great of a friend to begin with if they treat you like this afterwards. Look to your true friends who you know love you for comfort and support. And every cloud has a silver lining - now you know you can definitely move on and find someone who will treat you right!
Try not to get hung up about it
Once you accept the fact that they don't have a romantic interest, you can begin to heal. A lot of the time keeping it in is worse than letting it out. Now you can move on with your life, and maybe even meet someone else.
Talk to someone
When things go wrong it's important to tell someone you trust. They can help you with the bad times and offer advice. A friend, parent or sibling will more than likely empathise with how you're feeling right now. Always remember that it will get easier and support from loved ones will help.
You will get there
Don't sink into the endless mind-set of "it's never going to get better because I feel bad now". Time moves forward no matter what, and even though it's a cliché, it is the best healer. The time after rejection is the perfect opportunity to start a new project, join a club, go out more - because you're not tied down with your feelings for one person and what they're doing anymore. You should take this time for yourself and believe that even though it may feel bad now you will get better with each day.
No more 'blinkers'
You will be surprised by the amount of new things your mind will open up to during the healing process. You're going to lose your 'blinkers' - things stopping you from noticing all the good people around you. For so long you have been focused on one person and who they are but now you can look around and meet new people, and get to know some better. As I said, support is key in a time like this, and it's important to let these new (or old) friends in to help.
Hopefully these tips provide guidance on how to face rejection head on and to not be afraid. The key to having a positive view of yourself and others is to remember that you can always get through the hard times. And then, when you do meet that special someone who returns your feelings, you won't even remember the hard times.