I recently responded to a survey tweeted by SpunOut.ie asking about carrying condoms, the Internet and sexual education. The questions were pretty much what you would expect, nothing too controversial. There were separate questions on what I thought of a male carrying a condom and what I thought of a female carrying a condom. This made me think. “Ah, they think they’re going to find some variation between the two, the big eejits. Sur’ hardly, in this day and age like”.

Lo and behold, to my shock and severe disappointment, one of the key findings listed in the survey results was the negative attitudes towards females carrying condoms. I’m ashamed to say that of the 140 participants, there was a reported “overwhelmingly negative attitude towards females who carried condoms, with both males and females saying it made them look ‘easy’ and ‘slutty’.”

Hold on there… So, I assume it’s grand if a lad carries protection with him, but for a girl to do the same, for her to take positive action to protect herself and her body, makes her a ‘slut’. I’m not gonna lie… I.Just.Don’t.Get.This. I’ve tried looking at it from all angles, even squinting a little and cocking my head to the right, but I just don’t see the logic here.

“Good lads – make sure ye wrap it before ya tap it”. “Ladies – If I see a flash of the telltale blue of an ExtraSafe in your handbag you must be easy”. How is this possible? These are 17 to 25-year-olds. Who, presumably, know the dangers of unprotected sex. We’ve all heard the word chlamydia. One of the countless scary things-that-you-could-get-if-you-don’t-use-a-condom.

We’ve all heard the stories of unwanted/unexpected pregnancies. We all know how to prevent these! And with such a quick and easy method, why should anyone, whether man or woman, take the chance? In my humble opinion, everybody should carry a condom on them, regardless of whether they’re 99.99999% sure it’ll never see the light of day. It doesn’t make you promiscuous and it doesn’t mean you’re on the prowl. It means that you are a responsible adult.

So why, oh why, am I easy and slutty for taking steps to protect myself? And yes, I do mean me personally. I am proud to say that I am a young woman intelligent enough to carry a condom. (Not to say that those who do not are unintelligent). But carrying a condom is in no way something to be associated with ‘easiness’. If anything, it indicates that I consider the consequences of my sexual actions, not that I am this scarlet woman ready to jump into bed with the next yoke with a pulse.

Please, somebody explain to me how this negative attitude can be justified. It’s ridiculous. It’s time now to grow up, we are adults, we can leave the Catholic conservatism behind. It’s 2013, and we should be proud of women, and men, taking control of their sexual lives. We are not ‘sluts’.

“So…any plans for tonight?” I raised my eyes to the reflection of my hairdresser in the rectangular mirror that faced me. Maybe it was the post Pride March ‘out and proud’ feelings that still lingered from the previous afternoon, or the Post Pride celebration fatigue that rendered me incapable of racking my brains for one of my usual answers. This time I decided to answer her question honestly. “Just a few pints in The George”, I said as casually as I could muster.

“Sounds nice and relaxing”, she replied, her bubbly tone unchanged – “I wouldn’t mind a few beers later myself.” And so there you have it. My first direct ‘coming out’ experience to someone who was not within my family or circle of friends, and nobody died.

That particular milestone took place two years ago, and in hindsight, I don’t know what I was expecting. Well, I think it all stems back to the reactions that I received towards my sexuality when I was growing up.

Let’s just say that the people who either guessed or whom I confided in about my sexuality didn’t exactly make me feel that fancying girls was okay. Through the medium of dirty looks or sly comments that were thrown my way, I was made to feel ashamed. As if I were a convicted criminal or a deviant sexual predator.

Perhaps to anyone who has not received such negative feedback with regard to who they are, these comparisons may seem slightly dramatic. Yet, these feelings are a common experience for many people on ‘coming out’ or being ‘outed’. I remember one occasion where I was watching a DVD in my best friend’s bedroom. A knock came at the door. It was a girl who my best friend was also friends with, who knew through connections of hers that I was gay. I will never forget her response upon hearing that my best friend at the time had been upstairs watching a film with me. "What is SHE doing up there?” she questioned, implying that my presence in this girl’s bedroom rendered a threat to her wellbeing.

I could continue to list a myriad of negative reactions that I received towards my sexuality when I was younger. But my main point in writing this article is to raise the fact that ‘coming out’ as such, never really stops. We almost feel that once we have come out to say our parents or our friends, then that is it. The whole world knows who we truly are and now we never have to go through such an uncertain and scary experience again. But, as our lives progress, we see that that is not the case. Friends come and go, the location of the place we call home changes, and with this the whole ‘coming out’ cycle starts again.

Now, at 24 years, having received great support within the gay community and having made good friends along the way, I feel much more confident when questioned about my sexuality. However, I can’t deny, that right before my initial "I’m a Gay" omission that those past feelings of dread and shame haunt me. But from speaking to other lesbians, I know that I am not the only one who sometimes feels this way. In fact, when I told a lesbian friend of mine about this article, she too confessed to lying to her hairdresser about the venues of her nights out. She also confided in me that she had not yet told a female friend in college that she was a lesbian; for fear that the girl would distance herself from her.

Some people don’t share their sexuality due to their belief that their sexuality is nobody’s business but their own. I feel that despite the LGBTI+’s community mantra of being ‘out and proud’, there are still many gay people who are ‘out and proud’ when mixing with other LGBTI+ people, but are not as confident when spending time with people who are outside of the LGBTI+ community.

Perhaps for those of us who still feel slightly nauseous right before we utter the words "I’m Gay" to a new ‘straight’ friend, this is just a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder rearing its ugly head. After all, wouldn’t it be understandable that those of us who received negative feedback during our adolescence are predisposed to being more secretive regarding our sexual orientation in the here and now? It would go some way towards explaining this fear around ‘coming out’ to new people as our lives progress. After all, in 2012, being a lesbian, thankfully is not seen by the majority of people as being a bad thing (and nor should it be), so why are some of us still stuck in the past?

Then again, maybe some gay people choose not to ‘come out’ amongst certain people for fear of their own personal safety? After all, the recent homophobic attack and subsequent tragic death of Canadian gay journalist Raymond Taavel shows that despite the great progression the global LGBTI+ community has made towards tackling homophobia, it still unfortunately exists.

However, through awareness raising campaigns and the involvement of high profile gay celebrities, such as Mark from Westlife, in raising awareness of homophobic bullying, I think we are on the right road towards ensuring that ‘coming out’ is no longer such a daunting prospect, at any stage in our lives.

“Confidence is key” – that’s the phrase. Yet for so many, in this modern age, confidence is tougher to find than a needle in a haystack. The current young generations in secondary schools and college appear to be rife with anxiety, fear and apprehension when they should be sure of themselves, tall and proud. As someone who has been on both sides, I’ve decided to write about my experience and share how I dealt with my lack of confidence and become the person I am today.

Bullying in school

So, we have to start at the start and pinpoint where and why I was not confident in myself. In primary school I was bullied. I was bullied for as long as I can remember from first class right the ways up to sixth class. After fifth class, things improved slightly having told teachers and my parents. I was excluded from games, picked last for sports, made fun of, not interacted with to name a few things. It was relentless and debilitating. I had no interest in sports because of this and looked forward to the bell at three o’clock so I could go home and play my Xbox, at home, alone.

In turn, I had no friends when I went to secondary school. I had to start on the bottom rung and work my way up. It was difficult for me, being socially awkward to make friends. Having been bullied, I was terrified of speaking up, trying to make my own points and voicing my opinion. I was more than happy to keep my mouth shut in class and just go with the flow. Making friends was a slow and difficult process and it took me a long time for me to even trust the people who I began to call my friends, all due to my past experiences.

Stepping out of my comfort zone

The realisation that I needed to change came when I entered Transition Year. As part of TY, the entire class of about twenty-two took a three-day trip to Achill Island as a bonding trip and to work on our Gaisce awards. Our TY coordinator was a geography teacher, and so, asked us to prepare a short presentation about the local area. I was dreading this. We only had to present for a minute in front of our class and the two coordinators. Once my name was called, I reluctantly made my way to the top of the room. I was shaking like a leaf. I really was. I couldn’t even read the page in front of me. Afterwards I was almost annoyed with myself. It was only my classmates and teachers, so why was I so anxious to ‘perform’ for them? I knew then that I wanted to change.

So I forced myself into these situations. I attempted to give more input in class. I was more outspoken and gave my opinion on small issues at first. Work experience helped a huge amount too. For mine, I visited my local GP and a neonatal consultant in University Hospital Galway. Here, I was pushed to be among professional adults in an extremely prestigious and professional environment. With that, I had to act accordingly. I had to ask questions, be engaging, get up close and personal with the situations I was presented with. It was terrifically eye-opening for me.

Enjoying new experiences and challenges

Later in TY, we held an open day at the school for incoming first years. A couple TYs were asked to talk about the year, the opportunities we had available to us and our work experience to the incoming first years and their parent. I volunteered to speak and I was still slightly nervous. There was about two hundred people waiting to hear us speak. I was third and last to speak and as I waited, I could feel my nerves build. I could feel the pressure, the eyes falling on us. However, once I had started the pressure eased off and I began to enjoy it.  The more I talked, the more I wanted to keep going. This I believe is when I knew I had a grasp on my confidence.

In 6th year, I had the opportunity to speak at our end of year ceremony. This time I jumped at the opportunity. Myself and a friend of mine opened the ceremony and explained our event theme. I loved it. I did not want to get off the stage. That was when I knew I had done enough and was on the right track to being an extremely confident person.

Exercise helps my confidence

Another thing that most definitely helped me was starting jiu-jitsu. Since primary school I had never been into sport. I had tried football and disliked it. I started boxing in third year, but after TY I made my way into a local jiu-jitsu gym and I have never looked back. The coaches were all extremely inviting and helpful. They took me, a not very sporty and not very athletic person, who lacked in confidence and converted me into a confident person, capable of handling themselves, physically and mentally. I can never thank them enough and I would absolutely recommend jiu-jitsu as the sport in order to gain confidence in oneself.

As a summary I highly recommend

Little by little, you can absolutely build your confidence. It’s a marathon and not a sprint.

If your Leaving Cert results are what you hoped for, you are probably going to be in a great mood for the coming weeks, as you start planning your new life. However, if this piece of paper isn’t all you want it to be, it’s not the end of the end – there are many options open to you.

Result appeals

If you are not happy with your exams results and feel that they do not reflect your work or ability, you can arrange to appeal. Talk to your school about this or check out the information here.

Speak to a qualified career counsellor

They know the ins and outs of the Leaving Cert, so they should be a great help. You can also go to your local careers office or youth information centre and ask for advice.

Repeat the Leaving Cert

Okay, it’s delaying your plans but it is only one year and it shouldn’t be dismissed too quickly. You got through the Leaving Cert once, and if you had to sit it twenty more times, you’d still be able to do it. You’re young and one year won’t make a huge difference; there are still plenty of years ahead.

Take time out

Take a gap year and use it to travel the world, dabble in various jobs or just chill. The world is your oyster and you have time to decide what to do.

Start your own business

If you have an idea, why not try to make it happen? Enterprise Ireland provides support to anyone looking to start a new business. Click here to find out more.

Volunteer

Volunteering can be a great way to find out what you want to do in life. It can also let you give back to the community (cheesy as a mozzarella stick, but it’s true). Finally, it can really set you on a career path and give you valuable experience.

Make your dreams a reality

You have just finished school; exams are done with and you are young and free. Now is a good time to get started on things you have always wanted to do. You have the peace and freedom to give them a real go now!

YouthReach

If you’re between 15 and 18 and have left school early, you can train with YouthReach. The training is full-time (you get an allowance) and covers work experience, skills and general education.

Apprentice/internships

Depending on your career choice, you could undertake an apprentice or an internship. Both of these options involve learning while working and there are a huge variety of careers to learn. Your local FAS office can help with more information.

Defence forces/Garda training

The Gardaí are not recruiting again until 2014 and defence forces recruitment information can be found here.

Further education courses

These courses are a good choice for getting a taste of the career you’re interested in. You can find more information on the CAO website  or the FETAC website. If you’re interested in working in tourism, Fáilte Ireland has a range of courses including chefing, hospitality skills, bar skills and hotel management. Many of the courses are very flexible, allowing you to choose between learning full-time or part-time.

Exams are part of the game of life. They’re just that, a game. And like any other game, they have their rules and ways that you can learn to do well at them.

Training

In training for any game, the most important thing is practice. Practice, practice, practice. You can know every page of the book, but if you can’t get it down on paper within the required time you might as well not have bothered. And as anyone who has ever marked exams will tell you, the most important thing is that you answer the question: the question that is in front of you, not some other one you maybe wish had been there. This also comes with practice.

So, in these final few weeks the most important thing is to do masses and masses of practice papers. That’s even more important than endlessly studying up new batches of facts. Exams are about exam technique, about getting very skilful at manipulating the rules of the game. That comes back to practice. Just like any other sport.
It is important that you take study breaks also and don’t spend hours studying without a break.

Nutrition

Like any sport there is a nutrition aspect. Strength athletes look for protein to build up their strength. Endurance athletes need complex carbs to get ready for their marathons. And for the exam marathon coming up, you should be looking at special food to build up the power of your brain.

The brain has more fat – good fat – in it than any other part of your body. And it is a very special kind of fat. The important fats for brain functions are the ones called EPA and DHA (to give them their short names). The nearest food source we have to the EPA/DHA fats is the oil of oily fish (herring, mackerel, maybe salmon). Note: this is different from cod liver oil.

That’s why the best food in the exam run-up is oily fish. This is one case where it really is worth thinking of a good food supplement. Get a good fish oil supplement; one teaspoon of it a day has as much EPA/DHA in it as six and a half pounds of oily mackerel, and that is more fish than you are likely to eat! This is the stuff of the brain. Other good fats can be found in meat, dairy and coconut oil.

Tempting, as it may seem, don’t overdo the caffeine. It only provides a temporary lift. Plus, too much caffeine will just leave you wired. It can also prevent you from sleeping, and you need to sleep well to perform well at your exams.

If you drink alcohol, don’t drink until after the exams.

Vitamins

The brain also has its own electricity. How well your brain operates depends on the efficiency with which the neurons communicate with each other: three trillion communications a second. Each one of these brain messages needs three specific B vitamins to happen: B6, B12 and folic acid. That’s why the B vitamins are known as the stress vitamins. Because handling stress and good brain function are one and the same thing: stress breeds success.

B vitamins are found in whole grains (brown bread, brown rice) and especially in lightly cooked dark green vegetables.

So it’s worth thinking about taking a good strong dose of B vitamin complex, both to handle stress and to up your brain activity. Good luck with the training…Go for it.

Physical activity

Physical activity can be a great stress reliever when you are studying hard. It releases endorphins in the brain and helps you to relax. Even a few minutes of daily activity will help when you are spending all day chained to the books.

Relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques can be very useful in the lead up to, and during, exams. They can help when you take a break from studying and also help you get to sleep. Relaxation could include taking a walk, listening to music or doing yoga or Pilates.

Sleep

It is important to get adequate sleep. Stop studying at least two hours before bed and do something relaxing. If you find sleeping difficult, there are many natural remedies available such as:

As someone with Asperger's syndrome, exam situations present an enormous challenge for me and I find the whole process both stressful and frustrating. Exams present two key challenges to me: (a) the requirement to sit still and focus on one thing for extended periods of time and (b) the need to prioritise questions based on marks and manage your time accordingly.

If you have met me you will know that I am a person who likes to move around, even when I meet someone for coffee I have a tendency to move in my chair and talk with my hands. When at home in order to complete a task, such as writing this, I need to get up and move around to let off some steam. A poor concentration span is a problem that affects many students. However for me, this is something that is a struggle inside school and out. When I assign myself a task, I find that I need to get up every few minutes and clear my mind or if the task is challenging I may need to even stop the task for a period, go do something else and come back to it.

With this in mind, you can imagine my own exam experience. I find myself doing well for the first question, especially if I find a topic on the paper that I am comfortable with. However, after I complete this I feel a surge of energy in my body, telling me to get up which I have to try to resist, which in turn affects my concentration on the paper. In recent months, I have found it useful to split the exam in two so that after I complete one question I may take a quick toilet break just so I can have two minutes to stretch my legs and clear my mind. This is something that has certainly eased the pressure, but does not solve the problem completely.

What I find especially hard to deal with is exam days with two or more papers scheduled on the one day. I can just about do two hours but even with a break, having another two or three-hour exam on the same day is almost impossible. I find it draining and I definitely see deterioration in my concentration between the two papers.

I think a lot of people with Asperger's syndrome or other conditions on the autistic spectrum find concentration and prioritisation difficult. In an exam, I have a habit of writing a huge amount for the questions, which I like, thus leaving myself little time for the remaining questions. When I do mess up my time, I always find this very demoralising as I try so hard to remain focused on the paper, which is easier said that done when you are hyper-stimulant and have a habit of day dreaming, and know the information but yet just cannot get it onto paper in time. These are both areas that I am working hard to improve ahead of my own Leaving Cert in June.

So you may be wondering what I am suggesting should happen to address these problems? I think much of what I have mentioned very much centres around my own need to work better and indeed rise to whatever challenges the education system presents. However, I also think there are areas that must be considered for reform, not only for the benefit of people with conditions such as Asperger's syndrome but also to give exams more real-world significance. I think the system must move towards more continuous assessment, just as no employer would measure the ability of an employee in two hours, it is not right that the state measures two years of work in this manner.

Instead they should look to continuously assess students alongside exams in order to benefit those who have a vast knowledge but simply do not perform in exams or maybe were just having a bad day.  This would not only benefit students with disabilities, but would also help many other students and give a more accurate overview of a student's performance.

Deadlines are fast approaching for CAO and UCAS applications, which can feel like a time bomb for students who are completely confused about what they want to study. Most are repelled by the idea of trawling through courses. I, however, was a bit of a nerd for looking up courses last year, simply because I was so excited about the prospect of college life. While it did lead to my friends deeming me a wannabe career guidance teacher, it also gave me some useful tips for conquering the CAO/UCAS systems. Here are some I thought I'd share.

Always read the prospectuses

This is a great starting point for looking up courses, with most colleges having theirs online. Most prospectuses provide very useful information about the entire course outline rather than just the first year. Have a flick through each of the colleges before you've even thought about attending. Websites such as Course Hub are also great for getting student reviews of colleges and particular courses.

Attend open days where possible

While most open days have already occurred, many colleges such as NUI Galway will have another one in spring for students who wish to change their CAO. These open days are fantastic for interacting with current students and for getting a feel of the university atmosphere. If you've missed the open day, many universities will facilitate you if you wish to have a look around, or even want to attend some lectures. Just contact the admissions office.

Don't restrict yourself

It's worth looking at universities in Northern Ireland and England as well as those in the CAO system. University of Ulster and Queens in Belfast offer several courses that are not available in the Republic, and often similar courses there, may require lower grades than the CAO point system. Do be aware however that fees may be higher. Plus, many UCAS courses will require an interview, as well as submission of the compulsory personal statement. (See point 7)

Apply to CAO/UCAS early

It only takes a few moments to sign up for both systems. Even if you only have an idea of one course, put it in. You can always go back and adjust your choices (with a few exceptions – point 6). There will be no hassle to meet the deadline come January, and you can laugh at your friends while they are stressing to get over the unavoidable site crashes closer to the deadline.

Read the CAO/UCAS handbooks and websites

These resources provide important information about the application process, the college courses and their deadlines, seriously worth taking a look. Also, keep an eye on the CAO website regarding recent updates website (under 'Alert Lists') that are not in the handbook. New courses that may be perfect for you could just have been created, or another course you had your eye on might have been cancelled.

Check your course deadline

While you can still apply to the CAO later in the year, there are several restricted entry courses that you must apply to early. Medicine is an example, as well as veterinary in UCAS. If memory serves me right, these courses will be marked in the CAO handbook. Look out for unusual courses too, as several drama and performance courses (such as music in Trinity College) are also restricted entry.

Tackling the personal statement

For those applying to the UCAS system, the personal statement can be tricky. The best advice I can give you is that you should simply state your reasons for wanting to do your course, why it interests you and why you would be so much more fantastic than everyone else (as they are all rubbish compared to you). Well, maybe not that far, but play on your strengths. Include any significant detail you can think of – no one else is going to do it for you.

Ensure you meet all course regulations

Several colleges have certain subject requirements that you must fulfil to be eligible for a place. Most science courses require at least two sciences subjects, while for many arts courses (in the NUIs especially) you must have another language other than Irish and English. If you don't follow certain rules you may not get in, even with the points.

Place the courses in the order YOU want

I cannot stress this enough. The CAO system is rigid; if you get your first choice, you are stuck with it. Your offer only changes if you get a higher offer than your original one. This is why it's important to put the choice you want most down first. I've heard horror stories of people placing courses that they really wanted as their second or third choice, as they didn't think they'd get the points for it. Come results day, they got their points for their desired course, but were stuck with whatever they had as a first choice. The same goes if you put down a less-desired course, but with higher points as your first choice.

Try not to panic

Figuring out what course to do for the next three or four years is tough, it's no lie. If you're completely unsure, use your favourite school subjects as a starting point. General arts and science courses are also good as they allow you to taste several areas before specialising in later years. Furthermore, with the CAO you have until late June to change your mind (except for restricted entry courses).  So just relax, do as much research as possible and I'm sure you'll make a choice that's right for you.

I hope that the above points have helped in some way. Best of luck to all those sitting the Leaving Cert come June, I hope you all get the grades you need!

Over the years the space given for a personal statement on a UCAS application has grown from a few lines to a whole page. This really shows how much emphasis British Universities place on your personal statement and also the importance of making sure your personal statement is to the highest standards that it can be.

The personal statement is the only part of your application that you truly control. It’s your chance to sell yourself to the University/ Universities of your choice. It is 100 per cent vital that you complete it with tact and enthusiasm as a good personal statement can reduce the amount of points you need for the course. So here are some tips I’ve learned that can help you with your UCAS personal statement. 

Reasons for choosing the course

It’s easy to blather on for 47 lines about yourself without ever mentioning the course you’re applying to. Just remember experts in your field are judging your personal statement. So, make sure you mention why you choose the course and previous experiences in the field.

It is a good idea to mention a book, article, documentary that you have read or watched relating to the field so the admission tutor knows you are passionate and that you’ve read up on the subject. Your reasons for choosing the course should take up 30 per cent of the personal statement.

List of achievements and experiences

This should take up a significant part of the statement, leaving some room for the opening and closing. Your list of achievements and experiences really separates you from other candidates.
Having some that relate to the course is fantastic but make sure you include everything that you can. For example: sport teams, voluntary work, committees you are a member of, awards, work, hobbies and interests. All of these combine to create a list of reasons to select you as a possible student.

Ensure there is a nice flow

Once you have all the content decided on it is time to structure the statement. It helps greatly to link your reasons for your choice of course to past experiences and then to your interests and hobbies etc. This will make the statement an easy read and more importantly impress the admission tutor.

Hopefully these steps have helped clear your mind whilst writing your personal statement and best of luck with your UCAS application.

When in school, we are constantly fed information about the importance of getting a degree. “Pick the right subjects for your degree“/"Find out how many points you might need for your degree” and so on. Then in college/university we hear daily about the value of getting at least a 2.1 degree.

Unlike school however, we don’t get much guidance in college about what to do after graduation day, so it is hard to see beyond the piece of paper with your name and qualification scribed across it. The “done thing” in Ireland these days seems to be finish your degree and then to go on to do a master’s degree.
But for this SpunOutter, that was the very last plan on the list. With guidance counsellors, friends, family and lecturers telling you what you should do next, it is hard to know what is best. Depending on your career choice, there are various options for the “next step” on your path to the dream job, but only you know which one will suit you best.

See the world

This option is not as feasible as it was a few years ago, but if you have the means, you can do some travelling after your degree. This can be beneficial as it allows you to gain some cultural and professional experience. While it might be tempting to avoid work, and instead drink cocktails out of buckets; if you manage to get some relevant work in a sunnier climate for the summer it can be a win-win situation.

Internships

Internships are becoming a dirty word these days, as many companies are opting for freebies instead of hiring young staff. While working for free can be stressful, if you are getting the experience you need to get a permanent job, what’s the harm? Look up the companies you would most like to work for and see if they have any graduate internship schemes. Yes, it will be a struggle, and there very well might be some “I wish I could afford a social life” tears, but it could be invaluable for the foundation of your career.

Work from the bottom

Let’s face it, despite your dreams of getting a degree and walking into your dream job, you’re not going to become an architect just because you got a first in your degree. It takes a degree plus hard work to climb the career ladder. If that means stuffing envelopes and organising meetings for a year, so be it.

Further education

Moving straight on to an MA can be a very overwhelming idea and it isn’t financially realistic for most students unless they have extra support. This doesn’t mean that you have to rest on your laurels though. Most bachelor degrees are quite broad and they do not focus on one specific area of the subject studied; you might have studied Business, but want to get into marketing. Don’t let your lack of experience or money for a master’s stop you from continuing towards your goal.

If you have a junior job in a business for example, whether related to your chosen career or not, add to your degree by studying a FETAC course in the subject, doing an NFQ level 8 certificate and studying for other professional qualifications. The more interest and eagerness you show in your career, the better it will look to prospective employers.

So there you have it; despite what our secondary schools might teach us, the world doesn’t end at college graduation. You might feel like the most intelligent person in the world as you turn the tassel on your cap to the other side, but the reality is that you have to keep working to get “that job”. Once you know where you want to be in a few years’ time, examine the multiple options available to you and decide which option is best. After all no one else knows better what you want than yourself.

“I just saw two girls holding hands and kissing on Henry St!” No, the source of this exclamation did not come from a heterosexual girl, it was uttered by yours truly. “And?” my lesbian friend replied nonchalantly. This led us into a conversation regarding public displays of affection between lesbian/gay couples in Dublin.

Whilst I knew that she, like myself, was ‘out and proud’, I wasn’t sure whether she herself had ever held hands with a girl whilst strolling around the city centre. As it turned out, she did/does and always will. “If someone is really ‘out and proud’ then what’s the problem?” And so, being a lesbian who doesn’t usually feel comfortable enough to walk around in public holding a girls hand, her characteristically blunt response got me thinking; am I really as ‘out and proud’ as I claim to be?

From speaking to other young gay people, I have learned that I am not the only person who feels uncomfortable engaging in PDA with a partner. However, whilst some of these responses consisted of a blanket no with regard to public displays of affection (PDA). Others said that it depended on the situation/area that they happened to be walking in at the time, or how much alcohol they had consumed.

George’s St in particular proved to be the section of town where most of the Lesbian/Gay people I spoke to had already displayed PDA towards a partner. However considering that two of our biggest gay nightclubs are situated on this street, and that George’s St is pretty much considered a gay area from the LGBTI+ community’s perspective (Gay Charlie’s anyone?), does this really count?

When asked why they felt uncomfortable about being publicly affectionate towards their girlfriend/boyfriend in particular areas or when sober, concerns about their safety and about not wanting to draw any “negative attention” continually arose. Despite my friends seemingly black and white opinions, aren’t these concerns valid ones? Is someone really guilty of being ashamed of their sexual orientation because they feel it is prudent to not display PDA with a partner in an area that they feel unsafe?

Or should they battle against the fear/discomfort that they feel and refuse to hide whom they love? Can things ever change in our city if we don’t fight homophobia by defiantly and unashamedly revealing ourselves in public? Whilst the aforementioned opinions/concerns regarding PDA were elicited from both male and females, I can’t help but notice that on the rare occasions that I have spotted a gay couple expressing PDA towards one another, they have been female.

Feel free to correct me if you believe I am wrong, but personally I believe that this is because the general public is more accepting of PDA between a lesbian couple than they are of  a gay couple. Perhaps this is down to the whole phenomena of the ‘bisexual’ within pop culture. Whether it’s Katy Perry singing about kissing a girl and liking it, Madonna wearing the face off Britney on an MTV awards show or Jesse J coming out as bisexual, people are becoming familiar with either hearing about or witnessing two women kiss, not to mention the fact that the majority of straight men are more than pleased to view such a scenario.

I still feel that two gay men walking down Henry St, hands entwined, are more of a likely target for such blatant homophobia (in particular physical abuse), as opposed to two lesbians who do the same. Perhaps this is why, that after many years of walking around town, I can’t remember (apart from one or two vague memories) having seen two men being openly affectionate towards one another.

After speaking to a female Spanish friend of mine who happens to be heterosexual about this particular topic, she was surprised to hear that PDA between lesbian/gay couples was not a common occurrence in Dublin. I was equally surprised when she then informed me that gay/lesbian couples expressing PDA towards one another in her hometown of Madrid was as common and as frequent as the rain here in Ireland! “Nobody cares”, she said with a shrug, “It’s not a big deal.”

Before I bring this article to a close, I should add that I do feel that PDA between lesbian couples in particular has become something that I have been witnessing much more frequently, which can only be a positive step if we are to follow in the footsteps of Spain’s capital city. Meanwhile, I have decided that the next time I find myself browsing on Henry St with a girl that I am seeing, I will take one big deep breath and Beatles style, tell her, “I wanna hold your hand…”

For some young people, this week is going to be more exciting than most. Yes, this week is Dublin Pride Week. This is a week where people can come together to celebrate being LGBTI+, support LGBTI+ rights and just have a lot of fun!

On Saturday, literally thousands of people will march as one. Young people will be able to walk with their friends and be proud of who they are. More importantly, they can enjoy being accepted and being part of a community.

Pride in Ireland originally started out with a couple of hundred of people in the 1980s. It was set up to protest against the Flynn Judgement. Declan Flynn was a young gay man who was murdered in Fairview in 1982, likely due to his sexuality.  The defendants were found guilty, but only received suspended sentences, which caused a lot of anger and hurt in the LGBTI+ community.

Thankfully, Ireland and Irish society has moved on from then.

I understand that many young LGBTI+ people won't be able to attend Pride – maybe they are worried about being spotted, maybe they haven’t come out, maybe they aren’t comfortable with their sexuality or maybe they are just worried about the dangers of being with so manyLGBTI+ people.

I remember my first Pride. I was 16. I was openly gay, but I had not told my parents where I was going. It was all totally new to me: gay people holding hands, drag queens everywhere and people generally being very happy to walk around and be openly LGBTI+.

It was scary, but it was also exciting, new and fresh. It opened my mind up to a bigger world, and made me realise that the LGBTI+ community wasn't just made up of my friends or BeLonGTo (the LGBTI+ youth group I was a part of), but that there was a larger community of LGBTI+ people out there.

For me, Pride is about coming together with my community, enjoying their company, celebrating LGBTI+ culture and having fun.

It was an eye opener that really helped me, having just barely come out.

However, many people still ask, what is the point of Pride? Many say it's a show off, that it's in your face and that straight people don't have straight pride.

When someone said to me that they did not have straight pride, I had a very quick answer. I answered that straight pride happens every single day of the week.

My point is I don't feel pride when I always have to be alert in my own hometown. I didn't feel pride when I had to leave school without a Leaving Cert, as a result of homophobic bullying. I left school young, and I shouldn't have been allowed to. I was let down by the education system. Eventually though, I did indeed go back to college, I got a job and things are great now.

 

So, on the 30th of June, I will well and truly walk with pride; pride for myself, pride for my family and friends and pride for the community that has been so supportive to me.

I also hope that there is a day when we don't need LGBTI+ Pride, a day where all LGBTI+ people can be treated the same as everyone else, where being gay is not a big deal, and where my differences are seen as a good thing, not a bad thing.

I want to see a day where no LGBTI+young person will ever have to feel threatened, like they cannot be themselves, and where being LGBTI+ is seen as just being a part of a person, but that it doesn't define a person.

I feel very positive about the future. There are so many more people coming out, especially at younger ages, and friends and schools are being much more supportive! As a society, we should be happy that we have come so far.

Pride is a great day for anyone, gay or straight to celebrate being LGBTI+ or to support friends and family in their pride. I would encourage everyone to go out and enjoy it.

The parade takes place on Saturday the 30th of June and runs from Parnell Street to Merrion Square, where there will be an after parade party.

So Happy LGBTI+ Pride to everyone, in Dublin or anywhere in the country, gay or straight. Have fun!

Be prepared

If you want to save money over Christmas it’s important to plan your budget for the month ahead. Write down a list of everyone you need to buy pressies for and every night out that you’re planning to go on. Then think of all the little extras – are you decorating your student flat? Having a Christmas dinner with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Planning to give money to charity? Will you be eating out or getting coffees whilst Christmas shopping? All these extras add up, so make sure you list them along with a realistic estimate of how much they’ll cost.

Face reality

If the estimate of how much you want to spend is more than the money you have, you’ll need to cut back. If you’re worried about your budget and the risk of debt, then talk to MABS.

Budget in December

Aim to live on the cheap for the month before Christmas: drink less or drink water when you are out, make lunch at home, or have friends around for coffee instead of going to a pricey cafe.

If you eat out a lot or buy a lot of takeaways, make the effort to cook meals (and not just stick something in the microwave!).

Shop on a budget. Decide how much you’re going to spend on presents and only bring that amount with you to the shops. Leave the credit card at home so as to prevent last minute temptation buys that you can’t afford.

Offer your services for jobs like babysitting, gardening, cleaning, etc. and save the money you earn.

Make your own Christmas presents

Make your own Christmas cards – get creative about it and try to personalise them for each person!

Your own artwork, poetry or photos can look amazing when framed. Or make a frame and put a photo of yourself in it – grandparents love this! If you're musical, make a CD of yourself performing.

Check out car boot sales and charity shops for bargains. Look out for a cheap basket that can be filled with bubblebath, soap, shampoo, etc (buy a range in your local pound shop). You can make it look pretty by attaching ribbons and flowers – great for mums, sisters and aunts.

Get busy in the kitchen. Homemade cakes, buns and sugary goodies are lovely presents for anyone with a sweet tooth.

If you have no money you can always make vouchers for your services – put what the voucher is intended for: babysitting, gardening, cleaning, cooking and that sort of thing. You will be surprised how many people appreciate this sort of gesture.

Pressies for children

You can make hand or finger puppets out of felt material and any old bits of cloth you have at home. Think up a handmade adventure book with the child as the main character. You could make a costume for the child like a fairy, Peter Pan, Spiderman, etc. Find a toy from a car boot sale and spruce it up a little. Fill a stocking with small silly things like joke books, yoyos, colouring books, hair ties, whoopee cushion, markers, crayons, etc. (kids love silly stuff!).

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