9 tips on beating shyness

Don’t allow it to hold you back!

Written by Sana Zulfiqar


I personally have been a very shy person. Not being able to express myself for the fear of others has always been one of my biggest struggles. But today I have collected some good tips to help you overcome your shyness. I have used these so I know how well they work.

Find your strengths

Every human is born with unique qualities and abilities. Find your abilities and focus your time to develop them. This will boast your self esteem and help built your confidence.

Focus on others

Instead of focusing on how awkward the situation is or how bad you are focus on the other person. Give them a compliment and ask them a question. People tend to love to talk about themselves. This will help you move on to introducing yourself to talking about something you love.

Break the image

Most of the times we shy people tend to quiet down because we believe we are shy. We have to stop affirming our shyness. We need to stop telling ourselves that we are shy or that we find gatherings awful. If we keep telling ourselves we are this or that, we will never overcome our feeling of fear or insecurity. And feelings can be overcome.


By imagining ourselves confident or saving the day we can overcome the anxiety related to shyness. Close your eyes, sit back somewhere relaxing, listen to some relaxing music, imagine yourself in a scene or situation and see yourself the way you would like to be. In this scene, how do you feel? What do you hear? Do you smell anything? Are you moving? What do you see? Get all your senses involved to make it real.

Remember names and details

When meeting a new person it is a good idea to remember their name or small details about them. People love it when you show interest in them and put in enough effort to remember their names. Small details tend to get less attention. For example: if you know your friend has painted her nails a different colour don’t hesitate to compliment them.

Accept the negative

Getting rejected is normal. It happens in life and it is important to learn to not take it personally. It happens to everyone, even to loud and confident people. Remember, you are not alone. The key lies in how you handle rejections when they come. It helps to be mentally prepared before they happen:

Never take it personally

It was not your fault. It just wasn’t meant to be. The scenario was not the best fit for you.

Find the lesson 

What did you learn? There is a lesson ingrained in every situation. And through these life lessons lies the potential for you to become a better person, a stronger person. Nothing is lost if you can find the lesson.

Move on

Recognise that when you fall into self-pity, you are not moving forward. Nothing will be changed from your self-pity. When you start to recognize this, it becomes clear that only energy is wasted while we feed to our problem-seeking ego. Pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and move on to the next thing. Try again, try again, try again. It will pay off!

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