My tips for dealing with a breakup
Kelly has some tips for dealing with a breakup, getting over your ex and looking forward to new things in the future
Written by Kelly McGill
Voices - Advice
Young people share advice based on their experiences.
Whether it’s over text or face-to-face, being dumped is never easy. Heartbreak is a feeling that you will know as soon as it hits you, and sometimes dealing with a broken heart can be extremely difficult. In the days, weeks, and even months after a breakup, you might feel like your whole world has come crashing down on top of you. However, there are ways of dealing with it all. The majority of people at one point in their life have been through a breakup, so I think the first thing to remember is that you are not alone.
Another thing to remember is that most people get over heartbreak and even better they find love again. They don’t say there are plenty of fish in the sea for no reason! So here are some tips to get you on the road to recovery and getting over the ex.
1. Talk about it
Things are never easy to keep inside, so surround yourself with people you are comfortable talking about the situation with. Hopefully, the more you talk about what happened, the easier you’ll be able to process your feeling and move on.
2. Cut contact
This will be extremely difficult but beneficial. It does not have to be forever, but to get over losing someone I think you have to keep your distance. I found it helpful to hide all photographs, cuddly teddy bears, and other reminders as they will bring you on an emotional rollercoaster you do not want to ride.
3. Avoid drinking and texting
Over the next while alcohol might convince you that it’s a good idea to text your ex. If you find yourself telling your ex how much you miss them, or trying to arrange to meet up, it’s a good idea to delete their number and take a break from contacting them.
4. Try not to sex with your ex
Your ex might want to come over and collect some belongings that they left in your house. On occasions, this can lead to the bedroom. This can leave you feeling really emotional and confused but most of the time it leads to nothing but a one-night stand. If your ex realises that the single life is not for them and they want you back, make a decision at a later date but I think it’s best to avoid having sex before that point.
5. Organise your time
You might find that you have a lot more free time now with nothing to do. With college or work keeping you busy during the week sometimes your weekends might feel never-ending. Make sure to chat with friends, get outside for some fresh air, read a book or watch a moving – anything that can help keep you occupied.
6. Appreciate yourself
From having a bath to even exercising, this will all help build up your appreciation for yourself. When you get dumped you feel like it’s your fault and the weight of the world feels like it’s on your shoulders. Stop thinking so negatively and mentally beating yourself up about the breakup, it takes two to tango!
It is not a bad thing to cry! Cry as much as you like as the more you hold back the tears the more it creates an emotional block.
Most of the time we see a breakup as a complete, world-ending disaster. However, a breakup means that it is time for a change. A time to wake up and smell the coffee, it is a chance to grow, learn and believe that good things will happen. So chin up guys, everything will get better!