Being Bi and Christian

When your religion and sexuality clash

Written by Eboni Burke


I identify as bisexual. I also identify as a Christian. I know first hand that many people who are LGBTI+ are also Christians (and there is obviously nothing wrong with that) but it is not an uncommon view from some religions and personal beliefs that being of a different sexual orientation is wrong. Growing up in such an environment can be difficult and can take its toll on you.

I was born into a mixed religion home – both with equally conservative views. One was Catholic, one was Baptist. I knew both sides of my family always wanted what was best for me but I was raised through two religions that frowned upon homosexuality of any kind. Still, I found the words of God fascinating and immersed myself in Christianity's beliefs of tolerance and unconditional love. I don't fancy myself interested in discriminating against others in the name of a religion, I never have done, and I see that it set myself apart from my family a bit.

I didn't understand sexuality properly until I was about fifteen. Different sources told me different things – my family told me that some people were gay, most were straight. School didn't teach me much on the subject and focused more on the chemistry behind it. I never knew so many sexualities existed so I had to learn based on instinct.

I was enlightened when I got into Youtubers and several famous faces came out to the public. I kept watching these coming out videos and was intrigued. For some bizarre reason, I really connected with their struggle but I didn't get it. This spurred me onto extensive research as to what sexuality actually meant and even what it was like to have an identity. It hit me. I was bisexual. It made absolute, perfect sense, it explained everything. That also meant that, in the eyes of my family, I was a sinner. 

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to abandon the religion I had known, but bisexuality was now part of me. I came out to as many people as I could. It was received well by my friends. 

My family were tense, except my mother. My mom had always supported me, but I could tell she had a bit of difficulty adjusting. She still loved me and didn't treat me differently. I couldn't ask for more. As for almost everyone else, I know that it will take them a while to understand. They didn't reject me, but I know there's judgement. I will be honest and say that I still feel the tension but I don't blame them, nor do I love them less. 

Unfortunately, it would seem the many sexual orientations and numerous religions are like oil and water. It takes a lot for people to understand that I identify as both. I am of the belief that they can, in fact, co-exist, because, at the end of the day, the true meaning behind both is just love. 

I didn't write this to brag, to come out, to make a political statement. I wrote this piece to help people understand that both can co-exist peacefully and that you are 100% entitled to make your own choices. Forget your family and think of you when you try to find yourself. You'll be so much happier, and I can safely say that this is the happiest I've been. I'm a bisexual christian.

If you are considering coming out about your sexuality, you can read more here

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