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Dear 2020: Why I've decided to focus on my happiness

This reader talks about how 2020 showed them the importance of appreciating themselves and their personality

Written by Anonymous and posted in voices

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We asked young people across Ireland to take some time to reflect on 2020, and to put their thoughts down in a letter to themselves that we'll send them back in 6-12 months. Find out more here. Below is one letter from a reader in Cork.

My Dear 2020 letter to myself

This year has been the weirdest year of my life. From school to struggling with personal problems and building myself into a new person. It started when the first lockdown happened and I was thrown into an unknown world. I was stuck in my room five days a week from 8:30 to 3pm just doing schoolwork and study. I felt like I was in isolation, almost like solitary confinement.

Lockdown gave me more time to be in my thoughts as everything was shut down. I started to overthink. I felt really sad and just felt alone, like I had nobody to turn to. For two or three weeks around May, I was in one of the worst states of my life. It almost felt like depression. But all my life I was subjected to criticism and insecurity and I vowed to myself that it would stop now.

Over the next three months I built myself into a new person, and focused on having confidence and a love for myself I never thought I could have. Looking back, I'm so proud of myself for getting out of that dark hole. I know it's going to be me and only me in life when it comes down to it so I may as well get used to it while I can.

My new mindset is fuelled by determination and discipline, setting high standards for myself and helping others around me. Now and then, I go into a sadder mood and it's like a roller-coaster of emotions. But I guess that's part and parcel of teenage life. I can get myself out of that mood much easier now then at the start of the year.

I've started on my path to truly appreciating myself and expressing my true personality. I’m focusing on being happy, not caring what anyone else thinks as long as I'm enjoying myself. I know life is only starting so I can't wait to continue improving and hopefully I'll be in a better place mentally, physically and emotionally, achieving the goals I dream of achieving in the next few years.

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Published Decem­ber 16th2020
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