Long distance love
10 tips to deal with the space between
Long distance relationships are common with many people finding themselves living far away from their partner. You may currently be in a long distance relationship or have recently met someone who lives far away. It may not be your first choice for a relationship or you might feel grand about it. Either way, SpunOut has some top tips for you on making it work:
- Set boundaries at the start. Is the relationship exclusive or is your guy/gal gonna be meeting other people? Is he/she truly committed to making the long distance stuff work? Does he/she have the time/motivation/depth of feeling to come visit, keep in regular contact, and be faithful? This is pretty vital stuff and you need to discuss it as soon as the two of you decide to embark on a long distance relationship. Try and sort this out before you assume that he/she is on the same page as you, ‘cause we all know heartbreak is no fun!
- Talk to each other in some way every day; several times a day at best. Send emails, text or call one another. Instant messaging can also be brilliant for real time contact with your loved one. Nowadays there are many IM providers around and they are pretty much all free. If you want to bring back some real old-fashioned romance, then snail mail is just the ticket. Finally, webcams and Skype are a great way to get that visual contact with your partner.
- Do stuff together. It may sound strange but you can watch TV programmes or movies just like a regular couple. Just that instead of being in the same room, you can watch the TV show or movie in your own homes at the same time and text each other about it. It may sound strange at first, but many long distance couples do it.
- You can play online games or even chess and scrabble together. Some online games are very complex of course and require tons of concentration. Others are just a fun way to spend time together. Be VERY CAREFUL with this if you are competitive and tend to get upset if you lose. You don’t want to do something that will cause an argument. Kind of defeats the purpose of spending time together.
- Trust each other. Being possessive and controlling is not good. If you can’t trust your partner, ask yourself why. Has he/she done something to deserve your mistrust or is it your personal issue? If trust is an issue for you generally, you may find a long distance relationship very difficult.
- See each other as often as you can. Yes it may be expensive, yes it may be a hassle to travel, but it is worth it. Also, if you can’t be bothered to make the effort to see the other person, are you really in the right relationship?
- Consider that maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Corny, but possibly true.
- Look on the positive side – you will have more time with friends and family, won’t have to go to as many boring work/college functions and your relationship will be more exciting.
- Check in to see if the person is on the same path as you regarding the relationship. Eventually, you will probably need to live in the same area, so try and work out how you can eventually achieve this.
- If it doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up. You tried your best, but not all relationships (distance or not) are meant to be.