Pride events are taking place across Dublin this Saturday the 30th of June. Many of the events taking place are alcohol free and suitable for people under the age of 18. Below you will find a list of some of these events and the full programme for Dublin Pride festival can be found here.

Dublin Pride Saturday 30th June

Dublin Pride Parade

The Dublin Pride Parade is a celebration of the LGBTI community in Dublin and throughout Ireland.

This year the Pride Parade will start at St. Stephen’s Green South and make its way to Smithfield. People will gather together from 12pm and the parade will begin at 2pm sharp.

Irish Sign Language interpretation will be available in a reserved area at St. Stephen’s Green and on screens at Smithfield.

Outhouse Pride Breakfast

What better way to start the day than with a good breakfast! The Outhouse will be hosting a Pride Breakfast with something for everyone; from vegans to meat eaters and everyone in between.

This is strictly a non-alcoholic event.

Pride Youth Breakfast

This event is the annual pre-parade breakfast for young people aged 14-23, hosted by BeLonG To and Youth Work Ireland.

The event is free, and as it is a youth event there will be no alcohol permitted.

Student Lipsync Battle

LGBTI student societies are teaming up to host a lipsync battle before the parade to help you get hyped for the day. The event is open to everyone, and has only one rule; know your words!

GOLD Post Parade Party

The annual GOLD post parade party hosted by is an event for all ages to celebrate Pride without alcohol.

SpunOut.ie attending Dublin Pride

Don’t forget – SpunOut.ie will be marching in the Pride Parade so be sure to join us or come over and say hi!

So I’m 21 year old lad, who has always loved GAA, despite the fact that I’m useless at it. I love wearing tracksuits, but also love my fashion. I go the the gym, but then I come home and gather arts and crafts for the 25 six year olds that I teach every day. Life for me is about contradictions.

So I’m finished college since May, and I was very lucky to have got my dream job in the local primary school. I quit my soul destroying part-time job soon after. I have lots of close friendships. I am close with my family. Yet I’m not happy.

Having struggles with anxiety for the past number of years, I can finally say that I have improved dramatically. I’m now at my most confident ever, but there’s still something not quite right. Unfortunately, I have never had a relationship with a girl. This, without any doubt, is my biggest problem (in my opinion). Subsequently, I still feel incredibly self conscious when it comes to asking girls out, or even chancing girls on nights out. For this, I feel horrible. I haven’t enjoyed a night out in months. I can’t drink pints because I hate the taste, and I can’t get the shift, because I can’t get the confidence to ask a girl. I come home feeling angry after every nightclub outing. Yet, I feel incredibly satisfied a few days later.

You see, where I come from, and where I went to teacher training, a lad my age is expected to play GAA, look good, shift girls etc. The nature of teaching requires confidence, however, that can become arrogance. Every lad was the same. But then there’s me. Despite having vast similarities with my arrogant peers (GAA, Teaching, Confidence, Dress Sense) I only had a small circle of true friends, and in all honesty, I hated most of my year group because of this arrogance.

Life as a pretty normal 21 year old lad isn’t easy. I strive to be “one of the lads”, yet I hate what they represent. Maybe it’s just me, but I think we are losing our uniqueness as “lads”. Maybe in 5 years, we will actually be all the same, and things will be easier, but for now, I’m different, and I don’t know what society wants me to be.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering options here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

Your brain is constantly thinking. These thoughts form your feelings and decide your actions. Positive thinking leads to positive action which leads to success. So let’s do it.

The law of attraction (In a nutshell)

Like attracts like. If you want to attract great things you should think of and imagine success and positive results. Your thoughts create an energy that you send out to everyone you meet. So what we think about all day is pretty important. What were you thinking about all day? Do you even remember? Thinking positively is a lot like taking good selfie. It lets you see the same thing with a different view, in the best light. We’ve mastered selfie art so optimism should be easy. We have the power to control our conscious thoughts so why not make them positive ones?

If it’s so helpful then why doesn’t everyone do it?

Negativity is a magnet. Negative thoughts attract each other. If I’m upset about something I find myself thinking about every bad thing in my life. Like attracts like. Simple as. We need to use the power of positive thinking to achieve our goals and improve our lives. Being optimistic is a choice, one that’s easy for some and requires more effort from other. A positive mental and emotional attitude involves focusing on positive results.

Gratitude

A word that’s thrown around a lot. What does it actually mean to practice gratitude? It’s recommended to write a list of everything you’re grateful for each night before you go to bed or to find  a ‘gratitude stone’ and hold in your hand, whispering to it about how much you love your life. Doing this is a great start and is all well and good while you’re in a January style ‘new me’ mindset, but these activities can become boring and unsustainable for most of us.

Gratitude is a learned skill. We weren’t born grateful, in fact we were born needy af. I certainly don’t remember coming out of the womb ready to thank the woman who just housed me for 9 months. Things were simpler back then. Our needs we’re basic and we were helped without question. Now we need to learn to appreciate the world around us. Either that or spend the rest of your life focusing on everything you don’t have only to find that none of it mattered anyway. By all means strive for more, don’t settle, but you may as well enjoy the ride, it’s usually the best part.

Appreciating involves training yourself to be grateful all by itself. How? By consciously practising gratitude every day. It’s as simple as saying thank you, to everyone, everything and every situation in your life both past and present. They have all served a purpose in getting you this far and shaping you into the person you are right now.

Self-talk and mantras

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think”- Christopher Robin

That voice inside your head is the only one you have to listen to 24/7. Positive self-talk is key. A mantra is like a statement that you repeat to yourself over and over. Chose one, it can be anything at all, it should be relevant to what you want to focus on in your life right now. Keep it short and snappy such as ’Persevere’ , ‘Breathe’, ‘You’re worth it’ or ’I’m so grateful’ When I’m feeling down I repeat the mantra ‘Ride the wave’ to myself over and over. It reminds me that this feeling is temporary, it will pass and I just need to get through it. If you’re having confidence issues, using something like ‘You’re class’ works. Say it to yourself several times a day and you will eventually train your subconscious mind to believe it!

Adjust, keep going and stay positive

I spent today writing the most of this post. This evening I went to training and I felt terrible. My groin was paining me to run and my shins were in bits. It’s the week leading up to the biggest race of my year (u23 nationals) and my body is letting me down. I couldn’t do the session and after training I felt so low. I didn’t have anyone else to pull me out of this hole. I went to the gym, stretched and rolled and listened to some uplifting music. This helped marginally. I got home and realised I was too hungry to make dinner so I microwaved soup, it tasted crap, I threw it out. I made eggs, I found a shell. I toasted some bread, it was mouldy. Grr. I had spent the day writing about the power of positive thinking and the evening wallowing in negativity- pretty hypocritical. I just wanted everything to go smoothly, to go right for once. But nothing is ever straightforward, so there’s no point in wishing that things will be easy, something I’m learning the hard way.

Sitting here now, post swim in the sea, post hot chocolate and post reading this blog post over, I am actually starting to realise how lucky I am that I still get to run on Saturday, that I have the opportunity to give absolutely everything to a race that means everything to me. This weeks training won’t go the way I had planned but that’s ok, my plan was written in pencil anyway, so I’m going to adjust, get on with it and stay positive.

Sarah runs her own blog ‘Body and Mind yourself’ – check her work out here and here

So it’s the summer before you begin college and you’re excited at the prospect of starting a new college year, with new friends, new hobbies and even new romances. For many young people, this is a time when they get to experience leaving the nest for the first time, but for others, the prospect of beginning college while also staying at home with their parents is daunting to say the least. I was terrified that I was missing out because I was forced to stay at home. While for many this isn’t the ideal scenario, there are so many things you can do to ensure that you don’t miss out on many of the things that your friends will get to experience while they live away from home. If you’re stressed about the prospect of living with your parents for the next few years then here are my top five tips to make the most of it.

Recognising that you’re not on your own.

As the end of August rolls around, you may see your friends moving away to go to college in bigger cities and it may seem like you’re now facing the world alone, with just your parents for company! I know I felt like this when it happened to me. Living at home with your parents is not a unique situation and many other students have to go through the same thing for many reasons. For example it saves money, they may not be ready to move out of home, or maybe they’re just scared to leave their hometown in the pursuit of something new. Whatever the reason, the most important thing is to recognise that you’re absolutely not alone and plenty of other students are also in your situation so don’t stress.

Make the most of new opportunities.

If you’ve been left at home while all your friends have moved away for college, it can be an extremely lonely experience but there’s never a better opportunity to take advantage of opportunities in your local area and making a bunch of new friends that you would never have thought of before. Events such as local festivals, clean ups or volunteering can lead to making a whole bunch of new friends while also adding some amazing things to your CV. Join a GAA club, a book club or a dance class. Whatever you’re into, this will help you feel less like you’re missing out on the college experience.

Make use of your spare time

Although I lived at home for all of my undergraduate degree, I still had to spend a huge amount of time travelling because rural Irish public transport is not the best. During my bus journeys I was able to save time by downloading lecture notes and podcasts that I’d need to read for class, and if you’re even more prepared, print them out so you can highlight to your heart’s content while on your journey. Doing this keeps the material fresh in your mind before your lectures so you have more time for Netflix when you get home. Utilizing the college library is also really important if you have long breaks between classes because not only do you have no distractions that you’d have in your bedroom at home, but you can also get a large chunk of work done that you won’t have to do at weekends, leaving more time to hang out with your friends.

Remember college doesn’t have to be boring

Don’t get me wrong, living with your parents is not exactly the party going college lifestyle that people expect and also has far less nights out but that doesn’t mean you have to feel like you’re missing out. As cliché as it sounds, make sure you join clubs and societies on campus. In smaller colleges the society meetings are often between classes and not in the evenings as other students are also living close to the college so you’ll be able to meet people who are often in the same position as you and have as much of a laugh as people who have moved out. If you love a good night out, it’s highly likely that others in your class do too, and more parties happen than you think. Where there’s a will there’s a way and I can assure you there will be plenty of opportunity for the sesh.

Think of the benefits

While I know that having to live with your parents is less than ideal during what many consider the best years of your life, it’s important to think of the benefits. Firstly, saving money. If you live at home, no matter how much your parents ask you to contribute, it’s definitely not going to be anywhere near the rents that you see in the likes of Dublin city centre. Be grateful for this because your parents don’t really have to, but they’re helping you out a lot by reducing financial pressure considerably which gives you a chance to save for things like a J1 or a car. Secondly, you can look for a job locally that you can do at evenings and weekends. You don’t have to motivate yourself to travel long hours to get home for and it gives you a chance to save up. Finally, you get to stay in your room. While it can be hard to think of yourself as a grown up in your childhood bedroom, take the opportunity to redecorate. You’d be surprised what a fresh coat of paint and some new bedsheets can do for your mood. You also don’t have to adjust to moving home and stressing your parents out in May because they’re giving out about how much you’re going out as you’re used to living with them so nothing really changes.

My final piece of advice if you’re going to live with your parents during college is to chat to them about how you’re feeling, discuss how going to college changes your household dynamic and that in some cases they may have to treat you like more of a grown up and less of a child. This can be the hardest but most important conversation to have, and while your family may stress you out, be mindful of their feelings too as it’s also a big change for them. And for God sake don’t wake your siblings if you roll in drunk at 3am because mammy will not be pleased!

The annual LGBTQ Pride Parade took place on Saturday, 30th June, in Dublin, with thousands taking to the streets to celebrate. With the parade starting off from St Stephen’s Green, Dublin was illuminated with many rainbows and colourful people taking part in the march. All over Dublin, government buildings were covered in rainbows from Friday evening in time for Saturday.

Last year 30,000 people attended the Pride parade, while 60,000 people attended this year. People were dressed in drag, in leather and many were dressed in brightly colour clothes. Faces were painted with rainbows and glitter covered bodies. No one was empty handed as flags were bought or handed out by businesses taking part in the parade.

Speeches and music began at 12pm getting everyone in the mood for the day ahead. Among those speaking were Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and former President Mary McAleese and her husband Martin, along with their son Justin and his husband Fionan.

The parade took off at 2pm with cheering filling the air. Buses filled with people dancing to loud music, large heart floats and banners began to head to the block party. Some of the businesses that were there included; PayPal, Google, Facebook, Nandos and others. Also there was members of the Sinn Fein party who chanted “The North, The North, The North is next!” with people on the street joining in.

A group of us from the SpunOut.ie action panel and staff were among the thousands who participated in the parade. We gathered early for our t-shirts and headed to take our place shortly after. Friends also marched with us as we held a banner proudly walking the parade from St Stephen’s Green to Smithfield.

Although the day was amazing, there was one negative that everyone is talking about. The route. For years the parade route has been from O’Connell Street to Merrion Square, not hidden from people by walking the backstreets of Dublin. Many people have taken to Twitter to express their views on the route. One tweet said, '34 years ago and for most years in-between, we marched and paraded through the main streets of Dublin. Shame on @DublinCityHall and @DublinPride for shunting the parade onto the city's side streets. This is not visibility! Time for change.'

Since the 2015 same sex marriage referendum, more people are opening up about their sexuality. For LGBTQ people, pride is a day where the country and people come together and show their support. For some people, pride is just a day to dress in bright coloured clothes and have a good time, but for others it's more than that. It's a celebration of their sexuality. A sexuality that was once not allowed. Pride is a place where you can go to be happy and feel accepted for who you are, especially if you are not accepted at home or in your family.

To me, pride is more than a parade or rainbow flag, it’s about showing people I am not afraid to be who I am. Showing them that who I chose to love, be it a boy or girl, is none of their business and I am more than my sexuality. Everyday is pride for people of the LGBTQ community, not just one day or one month out of the year. We don’t switch off our sexuality and turn it back on in June when the whole country goes ‘gay’ for the month.

Pride month is such an important event in Ireland. Having the whole country participate in different events and activities throughout the month of June and ending with a massive parade. Educating people on the struggles the LGBTQ community face day-to-day and the history of acceptance is important as people still face homophobia and acts of hate. Pride is our day. Love is love.

HIV Ireland and Durex have launched the “Just Carry One” campaign to encourage people in Ireland to practice safer sex.

Latest information from the Health Protection Surveillance Centre has said that there is a 10% increase in the number of sexually transmitted infection (STI) cases in Ireland since 2016.

Just Carry One

The “Just Carry One” scheme is a national social media awareness campaign to promote the use of condoms to protect against STIs, including HIV.

Currently there are almost 10 people diagnosed with HIV in Ireland each week, and the number of cases of STIs are rapidly on the rise.

HIV Ireland and Durex are putting educational ads on half of the Dublin Bus fleet from 22 June to 6 July.

There will be free Durex condoms available from HIV Ireland’s Dublin office, and there will also be a competition on the HIV Ireland Twitter and Facebook pages to win a Durex goodie bag.

Reducing the risk

Last year young people aged 15-24 made up half of the chlamydia diagnoses in Ireland, as well as almost 40% of both gonorrhoea and genital herpes cases.

Condoms are the most effective way of preventing STIs and HIV, so people are being encouraged to pick up their free condom pack while it is available.

The fact I’m writing this piece with this title is something I could never have imagined this time last year. I was so far in the closest I was basically in Narnia. Now I’m so open talking about my feelings and my personal life that my friends are getting sick of listening to me. As one friend said to me before I came out, I never spoke about anything personal, but now you can’t get me to stop! But they all love the gossip, so we always have a good laugh.

Representation on the big screen

I’m writing this piece at what seems to be a very important time for LGBTQAI+ people not only in Ireland but the world. We have had two of arguably the biggest films involving LGBTQaI+ characters in years ‘Love Simon’ and ‘Call me by your name’.

Both dealt with different storylines and give such a human face to the struggle many gay people go through if they are struggling to accept who they are. I relate to “Love Simon” so much. Watching that film I felt like I was watching my own life story. It was so sad but also so happy. It’s the only film I’ve been to where the audience audibly gasped and clapped at the end. One of my friends told me that they cried the whole way through saying they thought of me and the struggles I faced.

We also celebrated the 25th anniversary of the decriminalisation of homosexuality in Ireland. It’s hard to believe it was only in 1993 when that happened. Now we will be celebrating pride this weekend which has become such a massive festival. We have same-sex marriage which we achieved by popular vote and a gay Taoiseach. It truly is amazing how much has changed in such a short time.

Accepting who I am

For myself accepting I was gay was a long and difficult process. I come from a very rural and conservative area and growing up I experienced a lot of homophobic abuse. From the age of 13 when I started secondary school, it was constant. At 13 I didn’t even know what gay was, but people at my school assumed I was and some bullied me intensely about it. I used to be simply walking around the halls when certain individuals would shout homophobic slurs at me. I never said anything I simply ignored it, and I never told anyone, not a teacher nor my parents. From this early age I internalised so much self-hate and disgust at being gay. For me I thought surely being gay can’t be right if this is how gay people are treated. I internalised all this and buried it deep down in my thoughts.

Even when I came to Dublin when I was 18 I was no closer to coming out. When I started meeting guys, I would use a fake name and rarely see them again. As far as I was concerned being gay was wrong and something I should be ashamed of and it was a big secret. If someone asked me if I was gay, I would nearly have a panic attack and deny it to the ground.

When everything changed

As the years went by I never even thought of coming out. I was resigned to living this part of my life in secret. It was like my undercover life. I often think I’d be a great spy after living like that for so long. I wouldn’t get too close to gay friends and wouldn’t even dream of going near a gay club. It wasn’t until I met a guy who I fell for that the turning point came.

I don’t know what it was, but I fell madly for this guy. It didn’t work out, but it was at this moment that I realised what I felt for this guy was so pure and real that being this way couldn’t be wrong. How could I feel like this if there was something wrong with me, I thought to myself. And it was at that moment that I realised it was time, I was going to come out.

The first person I came out to I was a nervous wreck. It was to one of my closest friends. They knew, but they were shocked that I was finally doing this. They always knew I was gay, but they never thought I’d come out. The more people I told, the easier it became, it just felt right.

Coming out to my parents

Telling my parents was hard, I knew they would accept me. But the feeling I was disappointing them and not being the son who would have a wife still played in my mind. I finally plucked up the courage and first rang my mum. She was initially shocked, but she was very supportive. Telling my dad was harder, but I did eventually. They were both fantastic and so supportive of me. In fact, everyone was. I have yet to have a negative reaction. Many of my extended family contacted me to tell me how proud they were of me and how much they loved me.

The first few months I was still uneasy. I still felt everyone didn’t need to know but as time went by I became loud and proud, at this stage I’m nearly saying I’m gay before I say my name when I introduce myself. It’s the first time in my life I’m truly me, and it feels great. My only regret is not doing it sooner. I look back at the scared boy I was and how hurt I was, not even having the ability to tell guys my real name.

Looking back before I came out

It sometimes makes me so sad, and I feel sorry for the person I was and wonder who I could have been had I come out sooner. But you can’t change the past, and I’m making up for it now. My second home at this stage is the George. Coming out was hard, and it was because of being rejected that I did it, so it was bittersweet. Though I realise had I not met that guy I would never have come out, as my mother always says “everything happens for a reason.” No matter how much it hurt it made me accept who I was and finally live my life the way I was meant to and for that I’m entirely grateful to him.

One thing I’m often asked by people who think someone they’re close to is gay and isn’t out is what they should do. This is hard and is different for every person. Before I came out if someone asked me if I was gay, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Initially, I would say never ask someone, but now I wonder had someone I was close to and who I trusted said it to me years ago, would I have come out sooner and I think I would have. So, if there is someone you’re close to and think they may be gay if it feels right maybe you should ask them. You could be the person who sets them on the road to accepting who they are.

To anyone reading this who isn’t out yet, coming out is the best feeling in the world. You are finally you. As Ian McKellan once said, “no one ever regrets coming out” and that is true. I know it’s hard, I was 23 when I came out, but I’m telling you it’s the best thing you will ever do. 

Dublin Pride week is currently taking place across the city from the 21st to the 30th of June. Many of the events taking place are alcohol free and suitable for people under the age of 18. Below you will find a list of some of these events and the full programme for Dublin Pride festival can be found here.

SpunOut.ie’s pick of Pride events 2018

Wednesday, 27 June

Girls’ Night In Pride Party

Girl's Night In Pride Party is a free “speed-friending” event that will have friendly chats, and food and drink to celebrate Pride week. It takes place in Outhouse on Capel Street but access for people with disability issues is not available. 

Post Marriage Equality: A State of Mind

This is a talk that gives an opportunity for members of the LGBTI+ community to talk about issues that are ongoing despite all the changes that have happened over the past few years.

The event will talk about sexual health, mental health, drink and drugs, and how we treat one another. Guests will include the CEO of Pieta House, Brian Higgins, the Artistic Director at Project Arts Centre, Cian O’Brien, and the Director of ShoutOut, Bella Fitzpatrick.

There will be complimentary food and drinks served at the event. All proceeds of the ticket sales will go to Gay Switchboard Ireland. The event is strictly over 18s because alcohol will be served.

Thursday, 28 June
Wellness Workshop – understanding and taking care of your mental health

This event is a one-day workshop to help people understand and take charge of their mental health. Those who take part will learn about a wide range tools and tips that can be used in everyday life to help improve personal wellness.

The workshop runs from 9:30am to 4:30pm and will include regular refreshments as well as a light lunch.

Places for the event are fully funded by the National Office of Suicide Prevention and the Iris O’Brien Foundation, as well as other donors and fundraisers.

Dublin Pride Annual Debate

The Pride Annual Debate will include speakers such as Senator Fintan Warfield of Sinn Fein, Justin McAleese of Fianna Fail, Sara Phillips of TENI and broadcaster Dil Wickremasinghe.

Karaoke Session

This event is a free Karaoke session which will include a raffle for Lagunitas Circus tickets in London.

Friday, 29 June
Moving Screening: “Pride”

There will be a screening of the movie “Pride”, hosted by The Workers’ Party socialist film club Reel Politics. Reel politics is a fundraising event and suggested donations are €5 or €3 for unwaged. All proceeds of the screening will go towards funding The Workers’ Party.

Special Pride AA Meeting

Pride is a special time for celebration, but for LGBTI+ people with alcohol issues it can be a difficult experience.

This event is for those in the LGBTI+ community who are concerned about their drinking to come together to an open public meeting of the LGBTQ Group of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

Self-care is a tried and tested strategy for coping with and managing the stress in our lives, be it everyday stresses or debilitating anxiety. As more and more people suffer with extreme stress and burnout, it is important to seek solutions to this. Self-care simply means purposefully scheduling time on a daily basis to complete an activity that restores an individual physically, psychologically, and emotionally. It does not mean spoiling yourself. Rather it promotes engaging in meaningful daily habits which help to maintain good mental health and ensure we remain stable and grounded within ourselves.

Why is self-care important?

Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity, aimed at replenishing mental, psychological and emotional well-being on a daily basis. This can help us thrive in the fast-paced world we live in. Although, self-care skills can be used to manage everyday stresses, they have also been proven useful as part of the treatment of depression, anxiety, and other mental health difficulties and have been encouraged by organisations such as Mental Health Ireland.

Every person has a window of tolerance; the window represents a state where emotions can be tolerated and information processed. However, when these emotions become too much, for example when we are triggered by stress, we leave the window of tolerance and enter either a hyperarousal zone or a hypoarousal zone.

Hyperarousal is characterised by “fight/flight” response such as increased sensation and flooded emotional reactivity. Hypoarousal is characterised by an immobilisation response such as numbing of emotions and relative absence of sensation. As a result, it is important we maintain our position within the window of tolerance to function optimally.

Self-care is a method of doing so, and the good news is that every individual is an expert on their own life so each person will have a unique self-care plan and different self-care methods will work for different people.

Here are my self-care suggestions

Exercise

This may seem like an obvious inclusion but the holistic advantages of exercise are never-ending. From a self-care perspective, it gives a chance to focus solely on self. Whether you are a fan of team sports, a gym goer or just a casual walker put aside 30-40 minutes a couple of times a week to energise your whole being. As well as being a natural mood enhancer due to the release of endorphins in the body, exercise is also shown to play a role in anxiety relief. Exercise also creates the physiological responses mimicking the “fight/flight” mechanism which is synonymous with anxiety and panic and characterised by increased heart rate and heavy perspiration among other symptoms. However, a study carried out by Psychosomatic Medicine in 2011 found that exercise is effective in lowering rates of anxiety due to an improvement in the sensitivity to anxiety brought about by constant activation of the “fight/flight” like response and the occurrence of internal habituation.

Reduce Caffeine and sugar

Caffeine is a psychoactive stimulant meaning it causes changes in perception, mood, and concentration by stimulating the central nervous system. Due to this caffeine has displayed withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety like symptoms, insomnia, and lack of concentration. Caffeine has been shown to worsen anxiety and stress due to the rise in blood pressure and excessive secretion of the stress hormones cortisol and epinephrine observed after consumption. Caffeine can also inhibit the calming neurotransmitter in the brain. Reducing caffeine from the diet is recommended gradually but incorporating other non-caffeinated drinks could be tested:

In addition, sugar and alcohol have also shown potential to interfere with our mood and mental health. Alcohol is a nervous system depressant that may dim emotions temporarily but cause a sharp dip in mood thereafter. However, sugar, causes high blood sugar levels which ultimately drop and accentuate mood swings.

Meditate & Breathe

Taking a few moments during the day to check in with your body and mind is very helpful in reducing stress and anxiety. Guided meditation apps such as Calm and Headspace have been found by some to be extremely effective. In addition, simply sitting back fully in your chair with both feet on the ground and hand resting on your lap allows you to close your eyes and breathe normally for one minute while scanning your body and being aware of how each limb feels. Simply repeating “At this moment in time, I am ok” has a calming and reassuring effect on the body and mind and helps you take the power back over your mind during a stressful day.

Writing and Mapping

Begin a diary or even drawings representing your day. This is a very useful exercise that allows you to release a multitude of feelings and thoughts that were triggered during the day. It also allows you to trace where moods stem from particularly if stress evokes a low mood for you. Mapping consists of writing down an event that occurred during the day and then adding the thoughts, behaviours, and emotions around the particular events. It is a method used in cognitive behavioural therapy to link thought patterns to behaviour and mood.

Build an essential oil collection

Oils are brilliant for reducing sensations of anxiety and even stress. Ideally, adding oil to a bath would be recommended to maximise the effects. However, they can also be obtained in candles or diffusers to relax the atmosphere around you. Examples include frankincense, camomile or lavender oil.

So, there you have a rundown on compiling a self-care plan. Although this won’t cure stress or anxiety it will certainly help to make it more manageable. It is important to find activities which are meaningful to us and which we enjoy. These may include team sports, club membership, art, music, or perhaps a book club. The more pleasurable the activity is to you the easier it will be to incorporate it into your routine. Always remember to keep hydrated, sleep well and eat a balanced diet; as blogger Silvia Mordini said, “Gotta Nourish Before You Flourish”.

Self-care is a term which is misunderstood. It is not some airy-fairy notion which has been made up by people who aren’t actually committed to good mental health. Rather, it is a tried and tested strategy of coping with and managing the stress in our lives, be it everyday stresses or debilitating anxiety.

As more and more people suffer with extreme stress and burnout, it is important to seek solutions to lessen this significant health implications of this. Self-care simply means purposefully scheduling time on a daily basis to complete an activity which rejuvenates an individual physically, psychologically and emotionally. It does not coincide with expensive and extravagant spoiling of oneself but rather promotes engaging in simple and personally meaningful daily habits which act as an aid to maintain good mental health and ensure we remain stable and grounded within ourselves.

Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity, aimed at replenishing mental, psychological and emotional well-being on a daily basis in order to thrive in the fast paced world we live in. Although, self-care skills can be utilised to manage everyday stresses, they have also been proven useful as part of the treatment of depression, anxiety and other mental health difficulties and have been encouraged by organisations such as Mental Health Ireland.

Every person has a window of tolerance; the window represents a state where emotions can be tolerated and information processed. However, when these emotions become too much, for example when we are triggered by stress, we leave the window of tolerance and enter either a hyperarousal zone or a hypoarousal zone.

Hyperarousal is characterised by “fight/flight” response such as increased sensation and flooded emotional reactivity. Hypoarousal is characterised by an immobilisation response such as numbing of emotions and relative absence of sensation. As a result, it is important we maintain our position within the window of tolerance to function optimally.

Self-care is a method of doing so, and the good news is that every individual is an expert on their own life so each person will have a unique self-care plan and different self-care methods will work for different people.

Some suggestions for self-care include:

Exercise

This may seem like an obvious inclusion but the holistic advantages of exercise are never-ending. From a self-care perspective, it gives a chance to focus solely on self. Whether you are a fan of team sports, a gym goer or just a casual walker put aside 30-40 minutes a couple of times a week to energise your whole being. As well as being a natural mood enhancer due to the release of endorphins in the body, exercise is also shown to play a role in anxiety relief. Exercise also creates the physiological responses mimicking the "fight/flight” mechanism which is synonymous with anxiety and panic and characterised by increased heart rate and heavy perspiration among other symptoms. However, a study carried out by Psychosomatic Medicine in 2011 found that exercise is effective in lowering rates of anxiety due to an improvement in the sensitivity to anxiety brought about by constant activation of the “fight/flight” like response and the occurrence of internal habituation.

Reduce Caffeine and sugar

Caffeine is a psychoactive stimulant meaning it causes changes in perception, mood and concentration by stimulating the central nervous system. Due to this caffeine has displayed withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety like symptoms, insomnia and lack of concentration. Caffeine has been shown to worsen anxiety and stress due to the rise in blood pressure and excessive secretion of the stress hormones cortisol and epinephrine observed after consumption. Caffeine can also inhibit the calming neurotransmitter in the brain. Reducing caffeine from the diet is recommended gradually but incorporating other non-caffeinated drinks could be tested:

In addition, sugar and alcohol have also shown potential to interfere with our mood  and mental health. Alcohol is a nervous system depressant which may dim emotions temporarily but cause a sharp dip in mood thereafter. However sugar, causes high blood sugar levels which ultimately drop and accentuate mood swings.

Meditate & Breathe

Taking a few moments during the day to check in with your body and mind is very helpful in reducing stress and anxiety. Guided meditation apps such as Calm and Headspace have been found by some to be extremely effective. In addition, simply sitting back fully in your chair with both feet on the ground and hand resting on your lap allows you to close your eyes and breathe normally for one minute while scanning your body and being aware of how each limb feels. Simply repeating “At this moment in time, I am ok” has a calming and reassuring effect on the body and mind and helps you take the power back over your mind during a stressful day.

Writing and Mapping

Begin a diary or even drawings representing your day. This is a very useful exercise which allows you to release a multitude of feelings and thoughts that were triggered during the day. It also allows you to trace where moods stem from particularly if stress evokes a low mood for you. Mapping consists of writing down an event which occurred during the day and then adding the thoughts, behaviours and emotions around the particular events. It is a method used in cognitive behavioural therapy to link thought patterns to behaviour and mood.

Build an essential oil collection

Oils are brilliant for reducing sensations of anxiety and even stress. Ideally, adding oil to a bath would be recommended to maximise the effects. However, they can also be obtained in candles or diffusers to relax the atmosphere around you. Examples include frankincense, camomile or lavender oil.

So, there you have a run down on compiling a self-care plan. Although, this won’t cure stress or anxiety it will certainly help to make it more manageable. It is important to find activities which are meaningful to us and which we enjoy. These may include team sports, club membership, art, music or perhaps a bookclub. The more pleasurable the activity is to you the easier it will be to incorporate into your routine. Always remember to keep hydrated, sleep well and eat a balanced diet; as blogger Silvia Mordini said, “Gotta Nourish, Before You Flourish”.

In January of this year, I was so depressed and lonely, combined with suicidal thoughts,  that my parents decided it would be best to take me out of school. My dad was disappointed because he always wanted me to do my leaving and to get a good job.

While in school, I was mentally bullied for two years. I was excluded from everything and I had no friends. It was horrible. I was so overwhelmed with stress and anxiety that I missed a lot of days in the school year. I would wake up in the morning and say I was sick or beg them not to let me go to school.

I hated school and I still don’t like the people in it. None of the girls talked to me or tried to help me in anyway even though some of them knew I had mental health issues. I felt incredibly isolated and alone 24/7.

The hurt from the bullying still affects me. When I see those girls my day is completely ruined. They made me feel worthless and insecure. They made me feel like I could never be good enough. I used to think that I hate them but here’s the thing, I don’t. If I’m being honest I feel bad for them because they try and put me down to make themselves feel better.

Bullying is not okay. It destroys your self-esteem and your confidence. I ask myself on most days why can’t I just have my confidence back? Why can’t I stop caring about what other people think? At the moment, I am still struggling with those two things but I hope that in time I will be confident with the way I am and not care what others say about me.

I just want to let people know, bullies treat you badly because they are trying to cheer themselves up. Is it fair? No of course not and there are no excuses for bullying. The effects of bullying can last long into adulthood. Some effects of bullying published on Stick and Stones are stress, reduced ability to concentrate, lack of motivation and energy, lack of appetite or comfort eating and a feeling of isolation.

I’m no longer being bullied since I left school and I can feel myself getting a little bit more confident but it’s gonna take a while until I’ll be able to say I’m completely confident. If you are being bullied tell somebody, anyone it doesn’t matter just tell somebody that you trust. Realise that they are only trying to put you down to make them happy.

I finished my leaving cert today and I am over the moon to have finished school (I did my leaving cert as an external candidate). I went back to school to do my leaving cert because I am determined. I am happy with the way I am and I am proud of myself.

The bullying didn’t ruin me, no, it just made me so much stronger.

 

It’s 8pm, and I’ve just spent a day sitting in the garden with my dog, two books, and several cans of diet coke. I set up camp there at eleven, and have just retreated indoors to save my skin from a healthy twenty-degree heat. It was, I feel, a very nice day. However- and this is important- tomorrow I will get up early and do things all day. There are only so many days you can do nothing without it becoming a slump of sorts. You’ve got to earn your days off.

After college or school ends, quite a few of us have no idea what to do with ourselves, but even if you’ve gone home to the backarse of nowhere for the summer, or, like me, all your friends are in Canada with half the college population of Ireland, you need to get out and do. Here’s some advice on creating your own productive time, without relying on anyone else to do it for you.

Have a plan for every day

This can be as simple as walking to the town to buy some Cocoa Brown, returning home and applying it. Alternatively, google a recipe for a cake. Walk to the shop for flour. Bake it. Wow your mother. Bring a slice to your granny. The point is that you leave the house, and you accomplish something. Yes, it might only be to achieve a healthy bronzed glow without the aid of our fickle friend the sun, but it’s something. (Also, please ensure that this activity will take up at least three hours. It’s no good making a ‘ten-minute mug cake’, and then wondering what you’re supposed to do for the rest of the day).

Get some exercise

Honestly- and I know you’ve probably thought of this- exercise. If this sounds vile, work it into your daily schedule. Walk home from work. Walk the dog. Go into the field and run around it for a bit (younger cousins are handy for this sort of thing. A nice nostalgic game of tag will cheer you all up no end). If that’s not your thing, maybe you could throw on a pair of leggings and go for a run. Return only when absolutely covered in sweat. Boom. You’ve achieved something. Imagine the looks from your library boyfriend/ girlfriend when you return to college in September, an absolute machine.

Limit your screen time

Summer is not, contrary to popular belief, a chance to watch Suits in its entirety. You’ll feel awful when you finish. Get out. Leave your laptop. Lose it for a day under a pile of magazines. Maybe you could read a book- and please don’t, like so many people do, feel that you have to read something intelligent. Twilight was popular for a reason. Jonathan Tropper is a favourite author of mine- he will draw you into the comedic life of an aimless thirty-something Jewish man in middle class America like War and Peace never could.

Work on a long-term goals

Lastly, you must work on some long-term goals. Download duolingo and learn French in time for your holibops. Sand and paint the dining room table. Plant an array of perennials in the garden. My personal favourite, and my own plan for this summer, is to learn to drive. Go get that licence, and finally, you will be able to take four of your closest non-Canada friends (traitors) to sit in the McDonald’s car park to eat drive-thru McFlurrys- the ultimate summer experience.

Skip to content