What should I do if I am infatuated?
Infatuation is a normal part of life and dating
Written by spunout
Fact checked by experts and reviewed by young people.
Infatuation is when you really, really like someone and you can’t stop thinking about them. It often starts with butterflies in the stomach and a desire to be with the person all the time. When you are infatuated your body becomes flooded with chemicals that actually give you a high.
It is normal to become infatuated, especially at the beginning of a relationship, but it’s best to try and avoid this feeling from taking over completely.
Signs of infatuation
If you are infatuated with someone, you might:
See the person you like as being perfect
Want to spend all your time with them
Fall for them super quickly
Find that they occupy your thoughts constantly
Neglect other friendships and family relationships to spend time with them
Become dependent on the person you are infatuated with
Become irrationally jealous about them
Although it is easy to happen, being overly dependent on your new partner or crush is not a good idea. All relationships need space and time to grow.
There is more to your life than this one person, so it’s important to take time to remember this and take part in activities like school, college or work, and spend time with family and friends.
Infatuation can be intense, but it tends to be a brief stage in a relationship. After a certain period of time (usually a few months), you will probably move onto a different phase, where you become more comfortable with the other person and settle into a routine. Although it might seem less exciting, this is also an important stage, where you can develop a deeper connection with the other person.
Dealing with infatuation
Infatuation can be a really fun and enjoyable experience. However, it can also be really stressful, like when you sit by the phone or constantly worry that this ‘perfect’ person will suddenly stop liking you.
To help stay balanced you might heed these tips:
Keep up with your friends and family
As much as you might want to spend every minute with your new partner or crush, it’s important to make time for your family and friends. Make an effort to do something with your friends regularly, and try to talk about something other than your new relationship (although it’s okay to talk about this too).
Make time for your interests
Just because you have a new relationship doesn’t mean you have to abandon all of your interests to make time for this new person. If you have a hobby or activity that you like to do, make sure to keep it up, even if it means spending a few hours or a day away from this person. It’s healthy to have your own interests, and if they really care about you they will want you to keep doing the things you enjoy.
Look after yourself
You might be tempted to stay up all night texting, pay less attention to your health and wellbeing, or neglect certain things when you’re caught up in the beginning of a relationship. Take a step back and make time for yourself – get some sleep, make sure you’re eating well, check in with yourself, and do whatever you need to do to look after yourself.
Remember your worth
Remember that you are more than your relationship with this person. Knowing they like you might make you feel great, but even if they weren’t there, it wouldn’t change anything about you. You still have friends and family who care about you, and there are many great things about you that would still be true if this person wasn’t around.