What part of love is abuse?

If your relationship feels wrong, chances are it probably is

Written by Rebekah Connolly


Valentine’s Day can be a time of love and romance but also a time that can highlight unhappiness in our own relationships. It is normal to have the odd fight with your partner, but if there are aspects of your relationship that feel wrong, the chance is that they probably are. This Valentine’s Day Women’s Aid have launched their #TooIntoYou campaign to highlight the subtle but harmful ways that young women can experience abuse from their boyfriends or exes.



Sometimes what felt like positive attention and attentiveness at the beginning of a relationship can slowly turn into more negative, controlling attention as the relationship continues and it can feel more difficult to break up or ask for help. To encourage discussion about healthy and unhealthy relationships the #TooIntoYou campaign features seven characters:

Controlling Conor

He insists on picking your clothes and comments on how you look or dress.

Send Nudes Niall 

He puts pressure on you to do sexual things that have made you feel uncomfortable or has raped you. 

Needy Neil

He complains that you spend too much time away from him and insists on you spending all your time with him. 

Dramatic Dan

He is jealous and suspicious and accuses you of cheating on him all the time. 

10 missed calls Ben

He constantly calls you when you are on nights out with friends and gets angry when you don't answer.

Triple Text Thomas

He sends you constant messages checking up on you when you are not with him. 

Why don’t you love me, Luke

You feel afraid to break up with him because he has told you he will hurt you or himself. 

Other signs of abuse can include:

  • He has a bad temper and you feel afraid to disagree with him.
  • He hits, kicks, shoves or threatens to hurt you.
  • He demands your passwords and checks your emails and social networking accounts to see who you've been talking to. 

If you recognise any of these characters in your own relationship or are worried by any other signs, why not take #TooIntoYou quiz on the Women's Aid website. If you are affected by dating abuse or a worried about someone else you can visit the TooIntoYou website or call Women’s Aid Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900.

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