Friendship is a strange thing – you can spend hours with somebody, think you know everything about them, be there for them during good times and bad, and yet…. know nothing about what their life is really like. I discovered just how true this was a while back. It was the weekend and one of my best friends, who I usually saw a few times a week wasn’t answering his mobile.

 

Noticing something was wrong

 

Okay, I thought, he’s busy. On Sunday, I still hadn’t heard from him. I was surprised but didn’t really think too much of it – I had a great weekend, enjoyed myself and presumed I’d see him during the week. On Monday, my friend called. Before I had a chance to complain about his lack of contact, I realised that something was wrong. He was near to tears on the phone and told me that there had been problems at home and he had nowhere to stay. I invited him over, presuming that he’d just had a fight and needed someone to vent to or a sofa for a night.

A bit of background, my friend lived with his father and young brother. There had always been difficulties between him and his father – problems with money and drinking – and I always thought that my friend told me everything about what he was going through at home. He was quite open about it with other friends too. Yes, it was tough for him and he didn’t get on with his father, but back then, I thought that he was okay as he could talk to us and vent about how things were with his father. I was wrong.

 

Talking openly for the first time

 

I presumed that when he openly talked about how difficult his father was; it meant that he told me everything. I didn’t ask for details or if he needed help. When he arrived at my flat – looking exhausted, with no bag and hardly any money – the full story came out. His father had been physically abusing him for months – lashing out every time they had an argument. At the weekend, the violence had gotten worse and after locking himself and his brother in their bedroom, they called the Gardaí.

It was a brave step but not an easy one. His brother had been taken into care and my friend, who was over 18, would now need to face his father in court. In the meantime, he had nowhere to live and none of his stuff. He stayed on my sofa for the next three weeks. In that time he talked more openly about what he had gone through and his fears for what his actions would do to his family. I listened and tried to help in any way I could but I was still shocked that he had been going through this and I had never realised, in all the hours that I spent with him. 

His brother now lives with his grandparents. My friend’s gone through a lot of horrible stuff but mainly, he says he feels relief at having gotten support and helped his brother. Now I really listen and try to ask him how he’s feeling, how he’s getting on – is everything okay? 

If you notice something similar with your friends or family, I’d ask you to do the same. Just because someone close to you seems to be okay, it doesn’t always mean that they really are. If someone has problems at home, ask them what exactly is going on and if they need help… you never know – it might be just the question they are waiting for.

 

All good things come to an end and I am afraid that friendships can often fall to this time old truth. Worse still, it is often the case that the greater the friendship the bigger the ending, if you know what I mean. After friends initially stumble apart, what follows can sometimes be an almighty bust up, after all these people knew and liked each other, which makes their fighting all the more dramatic.

Hopefully for those reading this, it is a situation that you know little or nothing about, although I doubt that very much. I think most of us will remember at least one ex-friend with whom we didn’t part amicably to say the least, the one you try to hide from or avoid if you happen to see them out. I unfortunately happen to be a veteran of this particular type of combat and as the saying goes I’m not proud of it, but I’m not exactly ashamed of it either.

From primary school right up to college and just a few days ago, actually, I have repeated the same pattern: make friends, develop best friend, expand friends and then… destroy friendship with best friend in a fiery ball of rage. To be honest I thought I had outgrown the last part or least modified it to involve less fire and rage!

However, as I found out, I was wrong, dead wrong! Though to be honest, it wasn’t just your average backstabbing friends, jealous “slappa’” story that you can find in any secondary school around the country… how I miss those days. No, it involved some serious stuff. Nothing too serious, but you know big enough to be able to cause terrible damage to a rock solid friendship.

If I was trying to preach to or patronise “the kids”, as many of our parents, teachers, guardians, pillars of the community and total strangers often do, I’d tell you not to be silly and that these things are all because of immaturity. But, we all know, thanks to our secret youth wisdom, that that’s a load of old s***. If you know your parents well, you’ll know that there are people they don’t like and a lot of the times it was the exact situation I’ve being describing.

There are ways of doing things though, as always. I know committing serious acts of violence and general sabotage on your former friend turned nemesis seems like the best idea in the world, but the truth is, it is really not the way to go. Fine, you are not able to be friends with them anymore, but there is no reason you have to make them into a life-long enemy! Just have a cry, a rant or play a game of soccer or whatever you do to get over things in a healthier way.

Another very important thing not to do, is give in to that evil little gossip devil on your shoulder, and we know we all have them, who at this stage will probably be encouraging you to divulge all those secrets and embarrassing stories you amassed on your ex-friend during the course of your now deceased friendship. When you agreed to listen to those secrets and keep them it wasn’t just until the friendship headed south. It was forever, and besides, remember your ex-friend probably has enough on you to strike back!

Finally, just remember to enjoy friendships while they last, because you never know what’s coming.

The biggest obstacle students face when moving to college is finding somewhere to rent. According to Daft.ie’s quarterly Irish Rental Price Report, accommodation in Dublin for the first quarter of 2018 is now approximately €1,824. With figures reaching above those of the Celtic Tiger times, people in Dublin are now spending 30% more annually than before the last rent peak in 2008.

As the average price of rent can exceed the cost of the property’s mortgage, students are having to find ways of getting rent down to reasonable prices.

“The house I am currently in is three bedroom and costs €1800 a month. But this is too expensive for three students so we are using the living room as an extra bedroom and splitting the rent four ways. The landlord has no issue with this, as the previous tenants did the same. When I advertised the rooms on the DCU accommodation pages there was immediately a lot of interest, most of the messages were very desperate and people seemed to be really struggling to find places,” said Christine McGearty, a second-year Physics student in DCU.

The reality for most students, is to rent rooms in family homes. The average rent on a single room in Dublin City is €654. While Limerick is the cheapest (university city) to rent a room at €388.

The difficulty Ireland’s students are facing is the chronic lack in properties available to rent. In February 2018, there was 3,143 properties available for rent in Ireland, the lowest figure since the records began in 2006. Dublin accounts for 1,350 of these properties. However, this figure has dropped dramatically since 2009, when 6,700 properties were available to rent. This has priced some students out of Dublin. 

“The only undergraduate neuroscience options were either UCC or UCD. I was more familiar with Dublin than Cork, and I also knew more people going to Dublin. However, the price of accommodation in Dublin essentially made the decision for me,” said Lee Kavanagh, a third-year neuroscience student in UCC.

Around Ireland we see developers excited by this student accommodation boom. Mill Street in Dublin 8 saw 400 student rooms opened in September 2017. The price for these start at €260 per week for the basic ensuite and go as high as €380 per week for the “Delux studio”. Paying for the accommodation is only one obstacle students must overcome. There is also the issue of finding the properties and getting in there first.

“I found my current accommodation through a friend and contacted the landlord 6 months in advance to the house becoming available. To stand a better chance of finding accommodation you need to start looking halfway through the academic year in preparation for the next. Our lease, like the majority, is yearlong. Which means students have to pay rent on a room they might not be using for 4-5 months of the year,” Christine said.

However, Dublin is not the only county experiencing this squeeze on finding affordable student accommodation

“Last year I tried the student village Glasan like a month or so before college started and it was already completely full, that's 500 houses. So, I got Tír Na gCapall another GMIT student accommodation. When I was there the people who lived above me had a guy sleeping on their sofa. I got lucky with my house this year I saw a post on Facebook shared by a girl I know and managed to get that house that I'm living in now. I didn't even view the house just said yes because I knew I wasn't going to get anything better,” said Liam Byrne, a second-year student in GMIT

“Finding accommodation in Dublin city was genuinely a nightmare. From unreliable landlords, potential house-mates and scamming emails,” said Elisa Valadez, a first-year art student in NCAD.

After going through all the protocols of searching for student accommodation Elisa attended an open viewing  for an apartment in Drumcondra. “I headed up for the day and the minute I arrived, I knew straight away it was a waste of my time. There was over 50 people queuing. I waited in the que with mothers, children and other people that have moved over to Ireland. The real estate agent just looked confused when I told her I was a student with no references.”

Not only that, but after getting put in contact with a landlord, Elisa thought the search was over and was happy with the price of €500 for a two-bedroom apartment. However, after a few weeks the landlord got back to them saying that one of the rooms could ‘easily’ fit three people and the price had gone up to €625. “We eventually got a reply from the landlord we were recommended and he completely changed the prices. The apartment had gone up to 625 euro per person and it was also a five-person apartment instead of four,” Elisa said.

The Higher Education Authority said in 2015, there will be 10,500 new beds in Ireland specifically for students by 2020. Of these, 8,000 will be in Dublin. There are currently three new student accommodation sites across Dublin; Dorset Point, Kavanagh Court and The New Mill (There is also a 407-bed facility being developed). As well as this, there has been five requests for planning permission in Dublin City Centre for purpose built student accommodation. If these all go ahead it will free up lots of homes in the private rental sector that can then go to other families in need, somewhat easing the current housing crisis.

The situation for affordable student rent in Dublin has reached emergency levels. Rent prices continue to rise year on year and the amount of properties available are falling. This, essentially the core problem, a supply and demand. A problem that may only be solved by building more houses in our already bursting capital.

Getting an STI check-up is a great way to protect your health and the health of those you have sex with. Due to the ongoing pandemic, some of the STI services in Ireland are running at reduced capacity. If you cannot find an in-person testing service that works for you, you may have the option of receiving a free STI home testing kit.

Free at-home STI testing kits in Ireland

Free at-home STI testing is now available nationwide through sexualwellbeing.ie. At-home testing works by taking a test you order to your home and then post back. The packaging is discreet, meaning that no one will know what you have received by looking at the package.

Instructions are provided on how to complete the test kit and a stamped addressed envelope is provided to post the completed test kit back to the lab. You should receive your results by phone or text message within 72 hours of the samples arriving at the lab. Order your free STI testing kit.

STI services in Dublin and Leinster 

GUIDe Clinic 

HIV service:

New HIV Telephone Clinic: If you attend the HIV clinic at GUIDe and would like to speak to a doctor or specialist nurse, you can now call the new HIV Phone Clinic. Telephone: 01 415 1965.

STI service: The online booking system is working again. Visit guideclinic.ie for available slots. Referrals from GPs via Healthlink are also accepted. Patients will be triaged, this means your case will be reviewed and an appointment given depending on the urgency of our cause, and appointment times sent out.

PrEP: This service is currently at capacity. New PrEP appointments will be released when capacity allows via the online booking system.

PEP: Is still available as a walk-in emergency in the GUIDE clinic. Present to the clinic less than 72 hours after the risk during normal clinic working hours. Outside of these hours, present to your nearest Hospital Emergency Department.

Visit guideclinic.ie to keep up to date with services.

Gay Men’s Health Service (GMHS) 

Mater Misericordiae University Hospital 

Beaumont Hospital 

St. Vincent’s University Hospital 

HIV Ireland 

MPOWER Rapid HIV Testing Service, for gay and bisexual men, is now available at LGBTI+ venues across Dublin. These are walk-in services, you do not need to book an appointment. 

• The George – Tuesdays 6pm to 8pm
• Outhouse LGBT Community Centre – Wednesdays 6pm to 8pm
• The Boilerhouse – Sundays 2:30pm to 4:30pm
• Pantibar – Saturdays and Sundays 4pm to 6pm

Free HIV self-test kits can be ordered online every Tuesday at 1 pm.

Nassau Clinic Dublin – Free HIV testing on Sundays 

Midlands Regional Hospital, Portlaoise 

Midlands Regional Hospital, Mullingar 

Louth County Hospital, Dundalk 

Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital, Drogheda 

Monaghan General Hospital 

STI services in Munster

South Infirmary Victoria Hospital Cork 

The Sexual Health Centre, Cork 

GOSHH, Limerick

University Hospital Kerry, Tralee 

University Hospital Limerick 

University Hospital Nenagh 

University Hospital Ennis 

South Tipperary General Hospital, Clonmel 

Carlow District Hospital 

University Hospital Waterford 

Youth Health Services (YHS) Cork (OPEN)

STI services in Connaught and Ulster 

University College Hospital Galway 

Portiuncla Hospital, Ballinasloe 

Mayo General Hospital, Castlebar 

Sexual Health West, Galway

Sligo University Hospital 

Letterkenny General Hospital 

 Illustrations by Marina Marinina.

Long distance relationships are common with many people finding themselves living far away from their partner. You may currently be in a long distance relationship or have recently met someone who lives far away. It may not be your first choice for a relationship or you might feel okay about it. Either way, here are some tips for making it work.

8 tips on making a long distance relationship work

Set boundaries at the start 

Is the relationship exclusive or is your partner gonna be meeting other people? Are they truly committed to making the long distance stuff work? Do they have the time/motivation/depth of feeling to come visit, keep in regular contact, and be faithful? This is pretty vital stuff and you need to discuss it as soon as the two of you decide to embark on a long distance relationship. Try and sort this out before you assume that they are on the same page as you, ‘cause we all know heartbreak is no fun!

Talk to each other in some way every day

Send emails, text or call one another. Instant messaging can also be brilliant for real time contact with your loved one. Nowadays there are many IM providers around and they are pretty much all free. If you want to bring back some real old-fashioned romance, then snail mail is just the ticket. Finally, webcams and Skype are a great way to get that visual contact with your partner.

Make time for each other 

It may sound strange but you can watch TV programmes or movies just like a regular couple. Just that instead of being in the same room, you can watch the TV show or movie in your own homes at the same time and text each other about it. It may sound strange at first, but many long distance couples do it.

You can play online games or even chess and scrabble together. Some online games are very complex of course and require tons of concentration. Others are just a fun way to spend time together. Be VERY CAREFUL with this if you are competitive and tend to get upset if you lose. You don’t want to do something that will cause an argument. Kind of defeats the purpose of spending time together.

Trust each other

Being possessive and controlling is not good. If you can’t trust your partner, ask yourself why. Has he/she done something to deserve your mistrust or is it your personal issue? If trust is an issue for you generally, you may find a long distance relationship very difficult.

See each other as often as you can

Yes it may be expensive, yes it may be a hassle to travel, but it is worth it. Also, if you can’t be bothered to make the effort to see the other person, are you really in the right relationship?

Appreciate what you have 

Consider that maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Corny, but possibly true.

Enjoy the best of both worlds

Look on the positive side – you will have more time with friends and family, won’t have to go to as many boring work/college functions and your relationship will be more exciting.

Communicate with one another 

Check in to see if the person is on the same path as you regarding the relationship. Eventually, you will probably need to live in the same area, so try and work out how you can eventually achieve this.

Remeber, if it doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up. You tried your best, but not all relationships (distance or not) are meant to be.

 

Cheating on your partner when you're in a committed relationship can bring up feelings of guilt, shame, anger, sadness and confusion. If your partner knows about it, you might feel upset or scared about what will happen to your relationship. If your partner doesn't know, you might be trying to figure out if and how you should tell them.

It's important to reflect on why you cheated on your partner and what it might say about your relationship. It's also important to consider how your partner will feel when they learn about what happened, and what you're willing to do to make it up to them if you both decide you want to stay together.

Why do people cheat?

The reason why a person cheats can be different in each relationship. You might know what led you to cheat on your partner, or you might be feeling confused and finding it difficult to understand why you did it. It's really important that you take time to reflect on the reason why it happened, for the sake of this relationship, or for any relationship you might have in the future. 

Problems with the relationship

Relationships can be hard, and sometimes there are problems that can be difficult to fix. In some cases, it might not be possible to save the relationship from whatever problems are going on. Even when a person is unhappy in a relationship, they might not want to break up, or they might want to avoid conflict for as long as possible. They could start cheating on their partner as a way to avoid having to deal with these issues.

If you think that there might be deeper problems with your relationship, you need to talk this out with your partner and decide if it's something you can fix. This can be scary, but the longer your avoid this conversation, the more difficult it can be.

Afraid of commitment

You may not be at a stage in your life where you feel like you can commit to a serious relationship. This could be the case no matter how old you are. People who feel this way might end up continuing the relationship even though it's not what they want, and begin cheating on their partner.

Ask yourself if a relationship is really what you want. If the answer is no, then you owe it to your partner to be honest and end the relationship.

Developing feelings for someone else

It is normal to sometimes find that you are attracted to someone else even when you're in a relationship. However, sometimes this attraction can develop into something more, and you might start to have feelings for the other person. When this happens, some people end up acting on those feelings instead of being honest with their partner about what's going on.

This could be the case with someone new, or with an ex from your past who you still have feelings for. While it's normal for these feelings to come up, it's unfair to your partner to act on them. You need to face these feelings yourself and decide what it means for you and for your relationship.

Lack of communication

Every couple is different, and the boundaries of a relationship are not always the same from one couple to the next. It's important when starting out a relationship to talk about what these boundaries are.

If your partner thinks that the relationship is exclusive, but you see it as something more casual, then this could cause a big issue if your partner feels you've cheated on them, but you don't see it the same way. It also helps to communicate clearly what it means if you decide to take some space from each other or time apart so that everyone is on the same page.

Communicate with your partner about what you understand your relationship to be, and make sure that they are comfortable with that arrangement. 

How you might be feeling after cheating on your partner

Many people go through a range of emotions after cheating on someone. 

Anger

You might feel angry with yourself, with the person you cheated with, or even with your partner. Try to understand where this anger is coming from, and find ways to manage your anger here.

Guilt

It is normal to feel guilty about what you've done after cheating on someone. Guilt is a sign that you understand that what you did was wrong and that you have hurt your partner. Guilt can be a difficult emotion to feel, but it can encourage you to find a way to make things right. 

Confusion

Whether it was something that only happened once, or you've been seeing someone other than your partner for a while, you might be feeling confused. This could be confusion about why you cheated, or it could be confusion about your feelings, especially if you feel strongly about both your partner and the person you've cheated with.

Anxiety

Feeling anxious is understandable, whether that's because you need to tell your partner what happened, or if your partner knows and you're trying to find a way to fix the relationship. Learn how to deal with anxiety here. 

Fear

You could be feeling scared about talking to your partner about what happened, about what will happen to your relationship, or about what you did and what it means.

Telling your partner that you cheated

As much as you may want to keep this to yourself, it is always best to be honest about what happened. It's unhealthy to keep a secret like this from your partner, both for your own emotional wellbeing, and your relationship. 

Not only that, but there is a chance that your partner could find out another way. No matter how hurt they might feel hearing it from you, it could be much worse if they heard it from a friend, from the person you cheated on with, or by accident.

Where to talk about it

​Let your partner know you need to discuss something important with them. Arrange to talk about it in person, somewhere private where you won't be interrupted. This is also important because one or both of you could get upset, and it's best to allow that to happen where other people won't see.

How to say it

When you tell them, try to be clear about exactly what happened. Explain what you did, when, how often, and where. For example, you might say "I kissed someone from work at the Christmas party last weekend" or "I had sex with my ex twice over the last month". If you choose to be vague and try and dance around the topic, your partner will only have to ask questions to be sure that they have all of the information. 

If you had unprotected sex, let your partner know, especially if there's a chance that you could have passed any possible STIs on to them. If this is the case, suggest that both of you get tested. 

You may want to offer all kinds of excuses to your partner when you tell them, but this is not likely to help. It's most important that you are honest, answer all of their questions, and if you want to work on the relationship, let them know what you're willing to do to fix things.

You may want to look into going for counselling, either on your own or as a couple. Learn more about counselling here.

A toxic relationship is a relationship that is bad for you. Instead of bringing security, contentment and joy to your life, a toxic relationship brings you more sadness than happiness. A toxic relationship is also usually full of ups and downs. If you are in a toxic relationship, you may feel ecstatic and extremely happy one day and utterly devastated the next.

This can be the case whether you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, or whether they’re someone you consider a close friend. Even the closest friendships can turn toxic.

Take our quiz to see if you can identify toxic behaviour.

Signs of a toxic relationship

Here are some things to look out for if you think you might be in a toxic relationship:

These are things to look out for in any kind of relationship, and a sign that things aren’t right.

Learn more about toxic behaviour.

What can I do if my relationships are toxic?

If you are worried you might have a toxic relationship or friendship, it’s important to do something about it. Here are some ways to approach it:

Talking to them

Try to talk to the person about what’s going on. If they’re willing to listen and to work on it, you can try to find ways to make it work. If problems crop up again, and nothing seems to work to fix the situation, then know when it’s time to walk away.

Knowing when to walk away

If the other person isn’t willing to listen to what you have to say, or if they keep returning to their toxic behaviour again and again, then it’s time to cut ties. This can be difficult, especially if you’ve been close for a very long time, or if it’s someone you see often, like a classmate.

Moving on

Explain to them why you want to end the friendship or relationship, and ask them to respect your decision. Try to avoid engaging in arguments or gossip with other people about the person. Remember to always do what’s best for you and your mental health, and work on creating healthy relationships.

Making time for yourself

It’s important that you look after yourself, especially in situations where you have a hard time removing yourself from an unhealthy relationship, such as with a sibling or a family member that you’re still living with. Do things that you enjoy, and reach out to others for support.

Finding support

Dealing with an unhealthy or toxic relationship can be difficult, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to the people around you and let them know what’s going on. If you can’t speak to someone you know, or you need additional support, You can call the Women’s Aid free 24 hour helpline to talk in confidence at 1800 341 900, or or contact the Male Advice Line on 1800 816 588 to get confidential advice and support for male victims of domestic violence and abuse..

Building healthy relationships

Being able to encourage healthy relationships in your life is important for your mental and emotional wellbeing, especially if you have experienced a toxic relationship. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and set boundaries with the people in your life so that they understand what you are comfortable with.

You deserve to feel positive and confident in the relationships in your life, and working on building healthy relationships will help you to achieve this.

Find more information on toxic behaviour in a relationship at TooIntoYou.ie

Take our quiz to see if you can identify toxic behaviour.

So you just went out and met someone. You chatted, clicked, exchanged numbers or social media, and made plans to connect again. Now you are waiting for that message, waiting for a sign, any sign that they like you and want to meet up again. Of course, every minute spent waiting for a text feels like an hour. It can be frustrating and leave you feeling fed up or anxious. It’s better if you can find a way to pass the time without getting too hung up on whether or not they’ve been in touch. 

How to wait for a text or call 

Here are ways to make the wait pass by easier:

Give it time

It’s very hard when each minute seems to last an hour, but give the other person time to contact you before you freak out and assume that you will never hear from them again. If you hear from them the next day, great, but be aware that they may take a lot longer to contact you. They may be busy, stressed or simply shy.

Distract yourself 

Instead of sitting around waiting and hoping, find something else to do. Go out with friends, read or practice a hobby, tidy up your space, watch a movie – anything that can take your mind off things for a while. 

Remember your self-worth

Whether they message you or not, you are still a great person. They may not want a relationship, they may have just been flirting, or they may already be in a relationship. This doesn’t change anything about you.

Make the first move

There is no reason why the other person has to be the one to get in touch first. If some time has gone by and you still haven’t heard from them, reach out to them yourself and say hello. They might have been waiting for you to contact them, or they could have been nervous about messaging you. If it turns out they are not that interested after all, at least you’ll know where you stand and you won’t be waiting around to hear from them anymore.

Accept the situation

As hard as it may be, try to accept the situation and whatever happens. You might really like this person and feel disappointed if they don’t get in touch, and that’s okay. Allow yourself to feel that way, but accept that this has happened. If they get in touch that’s great – if not, it will be disappointing, but you will be okay.

If you decide to date someone with children you may feel apprehensive at the beginning and unsure of how this will affect your relationship. There are many factors which will decide how much involvement you will have with your partner’s children such as how old they are, how much time they spend together and how much you want to be part of their lives. Take your time to figure out what arrangement works for you, your partner and their children and try and take from the situation all the positives that come from having kids in your life.

Tips for dating someone with children

Be honest with yourself

When considering to date or beginning to date someone with children it is important to be honest with yourself about how you will feel in the situation. Dating someone with children can mean a lifestyle change and may not be for everyone. Think about what you would like from the relationship and if you think that is achievable while dating someone with children.

Take things slowly

Wait until you feel comfortable and confident in the relationship to meet your partner’s children. Talk to your partner about when if and when they would like you to meet their children and do not take it as a negative if they are not ready to introduce you yet. Meeting someone’s family is always a big step regardless if it is their mother, child or brother.

Give it time

It takes time to build a relationship with anyone; children included. Ask your partner for their input. They may want you to be very involved in their children’s lives and be happy for you to spend lots of time with them. On the other hand, they may not want you to get too close, too soon.

Talk about it 

If you run into problems, sit down and have a talk with your partner about it. Depending on the age of the children in the relationship you may also be able to talk to them about issues when they arise. Communication is always the best way to work through problems.

Enjoy it

Dating someone with children can be a positive and rewarding experience. Make the most of your time together to learn and grow from one another. If it is right for you, dating someone with children can open you up to being part of a family unit and allow you to experience a different side to life from one without children.

Don’t take it personally 

Very often it has nothing to do with you if your partner’s children dont like you. Resist the urge to force a relationship and instead give it time to grow naturally as you get to know one another better and figure out what sort of dynamic works for everyone involved.

Invest in the relationship

If you see your relationship as a long term investment then when you feel ready you should try to also build a positive relationship with your partners children. Do not try and force a relationship but by being open to building one hopefully it can then develop over time.

Remember that although a relationship with someone who is a parent can be tricky and bring some challenges, it can also be very rewarding. Only you can decide if it’s for you.

Share your experience of dating someone with children

If you are being 16-25 and would like to share your experience of dating someone with children you can contribute an article to our opinion section. For more information on contributing to spunout click here.

There are different reasons why a landlord may decide to serve an eviction notice. However, regardless of the circumstances, facing eviction is a very stressful situation to be in. If your landlord wants you to move out of your rental home, it is important to know about your rights as a tenant and the services that can help you.

Your rights when facing eviction

There are several pieces of legislation that protect your rights as a tenant in Ireland, including the Residential Tenancies Act 2004, the Residential Tenancies (Amendment) Act 2015 and 2019 and the Planning and Development (Housing) and Residential Tenancies Act 2016.

How easily your landlord can evict you depends on the type of rental agreement that you have and how long you have been in the accommodation.

When can my landlord end my tenancy?

If you don’t have a fixed-term rental agreement, your landlord can ask you to leave during the first six months without giving a reason. However, they must give you a valid written notice to inform you that they are ending your rental agreement (known as a notice of termination) and a minimum of 90 days notice.

If you have been renting the property for over six months, your landlord has to provide a reason for ending your tenancy. By law, grounds to end a tenancy must be one of the following:

How much notice must my landlord give before evicting me?

The landlord must give you written notice of termination. This must be in writing, be signed by the landlord, state the date of termination and the reason for termination (if tenancy has lasted more than six months). Emails and text messages do not qualify as valid notices of termination. The notice period depends on the length of the tenancy:

Are there any exceptions to these notice periods?

Some exceptions to these notice periods exist.

Rent not paid on time: If you have not been paying your rent, your landlord must first give you written notification stating the amount you owe and give you 28 days to pay the arrears. By law, you should receive any such notice in writing for it to be legally valid. A copy of the initial warning notice must also be sent by the landlord to the Residential Tenancies Board (RTB) at the time of issue.

You are then entitled to be given the chance to resolve the situation. If you still have not paid 28 days after you receive this, your landlord can then give you 28 days’ notice of termination.

Read more about what to do if you can’t pay your rent.

Persistent breach of tenant’s obligations: If you break any of your obligations, your landlord must first serve you a warning letter outlining what the issues are and giving you 28 days to resolve the matter. For example, if someone is keeping pets in breach of their lease agreement, then a warning letter should be issued first. A copy of the initial warning notice must also be sent by the landlord to the Residential Tenancies Board (RTB) at the time of issue.

If the matter is not dealt with sufficiently, then a 28-day notice can be served. This process should be followed for all matters that are of a minor nature.

Serious anti-social behaviour: If there is serious anti-social behaviour, such as violence or threats, the landlord only has to give you seven days’ notice without warning.

What is illegal eviction?

If your landlord has served a valid written notice of termination, you still have rights as a tenant. Your landlord cannot cut off water, gas or electricity, physically evict you or remove your property from the flat.

If your landlord kicks you out for a specific reason (i.e. they say their family wants to move into the property), but then doesn’t follow through with that reason, you can report them to the Residential Tenancies Board.

Read more about your rights when facing problems during your tenancy.

Supports for people facing eviction

If your landlord wants to evict you and you don’t know what to do, know that you are not alone. There are several support services that can help you.

Threshold

Threshold is a national housing charity that campaigns for the rights of tenants, works to end homelessness, provides free and confidential advice and tenancy protection services to people with housing problems. If you have received a written notice of termination of tenancy and are unsure if it is valid, contact your local Threshold office immediately.

FLAC

Free Legal Advice Centres (FLAC) can offer you free legal advice if you are unsure about your rights when faced with eviction. You can contact their Information & Referral Line at 01 906 1010 or email [email protected].

Joining a tenancy union

One way to stand up for your rights is to join a union. Community and Tenants Union (CATU) Ireland is a union for renters, council tenants, mortgage holders and people in emergency and precarious living situations in Ireland. Their mission is to protect the rights and interests of renters in Ireland. You can get involved in their activities become a member. Find out more about joining CATU.

Supports guide for young people

Knowing your rights when renting accommodation can really help, especially if you’re facing issues with your landlord around deposits or rent increases. The government has recently developed a dedicated support guide for young people. In it, you can find information on social housing, your rights as a tenant, emergency accommodation, and other information on topics including social welfare, education and training.

About this recipe

Ingredients

Method

  1. Beat egg, milk, pepper and salt together in a shallow bowl.
  2. Dip the slices of bread in the egg mixture.
  3. Fry in hot oil until they are golden brown.
  4. Drain on kitchen paper.

Recipes are from 101 square meals by Safefood.eu and MABS.

About this recipe

Ingredients

Method

  1. Cook the mince beef, onions, mushrooms and carrots on a dry pan (low heat) for 15 minutes. (There is sufficient fat in mince for frying, so no more is needed). Drain any excess fat from pan.
  2. Add flour and stir well.
  3. Dissolve the stock cube in a 275ml of boiling water.
  4. Add the stock, tin of tomatoes, tomato sauce, salt and pepper. Cook gently for 30 minutes.
  5. Cook the spaghetti for 10-15 minutes in boiling salted water. Strain.
  6. Serve with the bolognese sauce on top.

Recipes are from 101 Square meals from Safe Food.eu and MABS

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