I looked in the mirror the other morning and noticed something unexpected. The ghoulish black bags that were once etched under my eyes had virtually disappeared. These black bags to me represent a symbol of the combination of fatigue and anxiety that had plagued me for quite some time. Curious, I made up a before/after photo just to see. It’s an important barometer for me as my particular downward spiral essentially stopped me from eating properly or sleeping with any great consistency.
I have a long way to go to really make myself as healthy and as strong as I need to be but I feel like I’m en route at least. I could point to so many changes that I have made over the last few months but the one key thing that is glaringly obvious to me is that my environment has changed completely.
The space I was in when those black bags were at their blackest was a dark one. My work dictated my lifestyle almost entirely, instead of the other way around. I couldn’t seem to catch a break either, with one big traumatic event happening after the next, feeling like a constant punch to the gut. I had retreated into myself. My emotional strength and resilience were practically non-existent. I could barely handle one thing at once, let alone two.
How I’ve learned to look after myself
Two months on, I have managed to fix virtually all of that. This has meant being a little bit selfish. Sometimes if you want to block out negative vibes in your life that means blocking out people too. It has also meant learning to be on my own for far longer periods of time than I have ever really been used to and learning that this is perfectly fine. I have been doing the simple things – eating, sleeping, and exercising much more. What’s more, is I feel the energy radiating from inside of me and now I feel like I want to do 12 things at once. I haven’t felt that urge in so long.
Be patient with yourself
We all have our own trials and tribulations and I thoroughly believe that everyone’s pain is their own. We all have different coping mechanisms too. Change happens in stages too, very seldom in one move. So, be patient with yourself. Chances are that not everyone else will be. Try to think about the barometers that are important to you. Most importantly, try not to beat yourself up or blame yourself too much. Try to take control instead. You absolutely can.