Relationships are difficult, especially when you’re young, in college and barely know who you are, so I never really understood the appeal. College is, to be cliché, about creating yourself. It’s about finding the people you can talk to forever and indulging in the different personalities you will come to meet. College is also about trying new things, studying hard and seizing opportunities. And so, I’ve come to realise that being single in college may not be the worst thing.
My friends complain about wanting a boyfriend, when a lot of guys in first year of college want the complete opposite to a serious relationship. Meeting someone in a nightclub will rarely lead to a relationship. Guys you meet in nightclubs want one thing only, and I think we all know what that is. Half of college is about having fun and new experiences, and you don’t need the safety blanket of a relationship you don’t want to be in.
I think a lot people want to be in a relationship so they can feel good about themselves. Particularly in an era of social media, young adults these days are more prone than ever to self-critical analysis. Of course it would be nice to feel wanted and to tell someone all the stupid details of your life, but relationships will only make you feel good if you actually want to be with that person.
Getting a boyfriend/girlfriend should not be the main goal in your youthful life. You need to focus on what you love to do and become successful in that. When you begin to work on yourself and who you are, you will become so engrossed in your own life that maybe you will unexpectedly gravitate towards someone you really love. There are so many exciting aspects of college to preoccupy you and discover parts of yourself you never even knew existed, you don’t need to hold someone’s hand while doing this.
You need this critical time to grow and learn by yourself. Going on crazy adventures with your friends, and living for the nights that you will never forget, should be the moments you strive for. Focusing on becoming the “right person”, rather than searching for them, sounds like a better use of time to me. You shouldn’t settle for anyone, especially when you’re only twenty years old in the middle of college. Prioritise yourself instead of the wrong person. You don't need anyone else to justify your existence, you can do that on your own.
Let’s face it, most relationships in college aren’t going to last forever and they have a sell-by date. I would highly recommend discovering who you are, seeking out new opportunities, and believing that someone will stumble into your life when the time is right. Some people hate the idea of being single, others relish in it. The point is, it’s okay. Being single shouldn’t be some sort of sad social label, it should be something to rejoice in. You can become a strong, independent person and, most of all, free for the most interesting and bizarre years of your life.
There are so many boring things in life, do not let your romantic relationship be one of them. Respect yourself enough to be with someone because you love them, not just because you’re afraid of being alone. Being single in college is more than okay, it’s liberating.