How to cope with Autism stigma

In this factsheet, you will find neurodiversity-affirmative and Autism-specific coping strategies. Specifically, you will find information on how to cope with autism stigma. If you would like information on coping strategies, visit our article on managing Autistic burnout and life stress.

Before diving in, let’s explain what a coping mechanism is and why coping mechanisms are an important part of developing resilience in the face of the above challenges.

What is an Autism coping strategy?

Coping mechanisms are strategies or ways that people use to manage stressful events or life circumstances. “Adaptive” coping mechanisms are strategies that support our physical or mental health, allowing us to stay healthy in the face of setbacks. Other coping mechanisms, the “maladaptive” type, can reduce our sense of wellbeing and make us feel less able to deal with life stressors. Research shows that maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as avoiding problems or blaming yourself for problems outside of your control, lead to lower mental health and quality of life among Autistic people.

How can Autism coping strategies boost my resilience?

In general, researchers have shown that having adaptive coping mechanisms can help us to feel more “resilient.” If a person is resilient, it does not mean that they never feel sad or overwhelmed when facing problems or unexpected changes in their lives. Instead, people who are resilient tend to directly confront the problem or life change by adjusting how they may react to the problem. This, in turn, allows them to continue to engage in meaningful activities or achieve realistic goals, despite the change in their circumstances. Being resilient can help us bounce back more quickly if we experience setbacks or hardship.

Even though resilience is affected by environmental factors that may not be equally accessible to everyone—like a person’s income and level of social support—anyone can increase their resilience by developing adaptive coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms can be problem-focused or emotion-focused. Problem-focused coping involves trying to address a problem directly, whereas emotion-focused coping involves changing one’s emotional response or way of thinking about a problem.

In the next section, you will find three common barriers to acceptance experienced by members of the Autistic community, along with emotion-focused and problem-focused ways of coping with them.

Coping with negative stereotypes

Stigma and negative ideas about Autism in our society can cause anxiety for Autistic people.

Autistic individuals may find that people they meet have a poor understanding of Autism or mistake certain Autistic characteristics, such as less eye contact, as signs of rudeness or hostility. In the workplace or at school, Neurotypical (not autistic) teachers, employers or peers may expect Autistic people to conform to social and achievement norms, like working outside the home, or being able to work or study without reasonable accommodations. Reasonable accommodations are changes made by an employer or teacher to an Autistic person’s environment that allow the person to work on an equal basis with their Neurotypical peers.

Campaigning for change may be important for some Autistic people. However, the responsibility for making our society more inclusive for Autistic people lies with policymakers and Neurotypical people, not with Autistic people themselves. Policymakers should ensure that Autistic people’s rights are being protected. Neurotypical people can learn to turn away from negative stereotypes towards the unique strengths and support needs of each Autistic individual. However, there are some things you, as an Autistic person, can do to cope with stigma and negative stereotypes.

Rethinking disability

It can help to view your Autism in a way that affirms your dignity and self-worth. It is easy to believe other people’s negative beliefs about who you are. But learning to actively challenge these beliefs is important for maintaining your self-esteem. Some Autistic people do this by adopting a social model of disability rather than the medical model. According to the social model of disability—a model used by the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities— Autistic people are “disabled” not by their individual differences, but by the barriers to support and inclusion that they face in society.

Embracing identity

Studies show that when an Autistic individual accepts and develops an understanding of themselves, they may experience fewer mental health difficulties. The act of accepting one’s Autistic identity does not get rid of stigma and negative stereotypes. However, self-acceptance can help support a person’s self-advocacy. Self-advocacy is the act of representing your views and interests, especially in spaces where these views or interests are not welcomed.

As part of the process of accepting themselves, some Autistic people find it helpful to identify their unique strengths and support needs. Developing your strengths can help you recognise that your diagnosis, while an important part of your identity, is not the only aspect of who you are. When you acknowledge your support needs as well as your strengths, you may be able to identify and help others to understand your triggers. You may also find it easier to take responsibility for your actions and make use of support when it is available.

Another important part of self-acceptance for some people is becoming aware of and beginning to challenge their own internalised ableism. Internalised ableism is when a person with a disability believes negative or harmful ideas about themselves because of what they’ve heard from others or seen in the media.

Seeking emotional support

You may be struggling with the emotional impact of negative stereotypes. If so, consider accessing psychological support from a counsellor, psychotherapist, or support group online or offline. Speaking to another trusted person, whether a professional, family member, or another Autistic person, can help with processing the difficult emotions that can come with experiencing stigma.

Knowing your rights

If you have to self-advocate in a difficult environment, it is best to become informed about your rights. For example, you have a right to protection from discrimination, harassment and bullying in the workplace and at school. You also have a right to this same protection when accessing accommodation and/or other services. Read more about Ireland’s Equality Laws. It’s important to know your rights in a range of social contexts, from employment to education. But being able to rely on a supportive community network can also help you cope with the burden of continuous self-advocacy.

Changing your expectations

For some Autistic people, it can be liberating to remove the expectation to conform to Neurotypical norms. These might include leaving the family home or graduating from college by a certain age. Some Autistic people may wish to meet these milestones when the time is right. However, forcing yourself to do so when it doesn’t feel manageable is likely to have a negative effect on your physical and mental wellbeing.

Milestones like moving away for work or college or developing a romantic relationship may be important to you. If so, give yourself permission to seek support for reaching these milestones “on time.” Alternatively, give yourself permission to reach these milestones according to a different timeline. It is critical that this new timeline respects your own unique strengths and support needs. If the typical milestones are less meaningful for you or if you feel pressure around achieving them, it’s perfectly okay to work towards different milestones. It might help to discuss the possibility of doing so with a guardian or trusted person.

Find more resources and information on supporting yourself or an Autistic loved on the As I Am website.

To learn more about autism, check out our factsheets on common Autistic traits, how to get assessed for Autism as an adult and how to get your child assessed for Autism.

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