“It’s all I think about. It wakes me up at 5 am every morning. I cannot see a way out of this mess.

Monday, a new day. A new week. Somehow, I am still here. My head says I shouldn’t be. It makes me feel horrible, guilty. Like I don’t deserve the air I breathe.

At least I have work today, a distraction. It means walking around for 6 hours, my head likes that. I lost more weight, when I stepped quietly onto the glass scales this morning. Every day, it gets lower, and I believe what it says less and less. It can’t be accurate. I am clearly fatter than that.

A small part of me says that it isn’t good. I can’t afford to lose anymore. A bigger part of me says I could easily lose more. It’s hard to fight back. I know losing more will not get me anywhere, but the only way I can maintain, is by exercising less, or eating more. And neither are an option.

If I don’t exercise, I simply eat less during the day. It has happened before.

A small part of me is screaming inside, terrified of what will happen at my appointment on Wednesday. What will he say to me? What will be the ultimatum? The stronger part of me doesn’t care.

She doesn’t care about me at all.”

I wrote this little extract a few months before I lost the ability to walk. I came home from being out all day, and I dragged myself up the stairs. The second my feet reached the top, I collapsed. I sobbed, I screamed and I was terrified. My legs literally would not carry me anymore. I was only 21.

It was summer of 2017, and I had to quit my job. I was housebound for several weeks, and that was only when I realized how serious it was. That anorexia had its grasp on me so tightly. I knew then, that it was either stay like this forever, and get progressively worse, or try and turn my life around.

Fast forward 10 months later, and here I am writing this. Not only can I walk without any issues, but I am in such a good place now. I can fully say that Anorexia is not a part of my life anymore. Yes, there are hard days, and times when I just want to hibernate, but I do not suffer in silence anymore. If something is wrong, I speak out, I go to therapy, I meditate. I do not use food to deal with life’s ups and downs. The loud cruel voice that used to dictate every single thing I ate, what exercise I did and attacked my self esteem, is non-existent. For the most part, my head is silent.

I cannot tell you that one specific therapy, or creative outlet helped me turn my life around. It was a combination of several things, that has helped me get to where I am today. What I can tell you, is that it was my motivation/inner ambition that made this recovery successful. Previously, when trying to loosen Anorexia’s grips, I did it for the sake of my family, or for being well enough to complete exams, to not be a burden on others around me. But one day, whilst lying in bed, a week before my 21st birthday I lay wide awake, thinking about how tough my life was, how much this illness had taken away from me, the fact that this could only end two ways, me in hospital fighting for my life, or getting better. Eating disorders had been in my life for the last ten years, and I did not want to see it take another year of mine.

No matter how much Anorexia had worn away at my self esteem, or the “real” me, there was still a part of me that told me to fight back. For once, I was angry and upset, at Anorexia, for how I had let it get this bad again. I had decided to put an end to the torture, and agony that I had been going through, and actually use the help that had been offered to me. It was from then that I decided I was actually worth this. I did deserve to be happy and healthy. Personally, I think that is the key to success when trying to fight an eating disorder, not doing it for anyone else, but yourself.

This can happen to you too. The suffering will not last forever, even though in this very moment, it may seem like it. Please reach out and get help. No one deserves the pain that comes along with any mental illness.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

 

Every Christmas is the same. You see everyone getting ready for the big day, throwing up decorations and buying presents. As I’m writing this, I feel quite low knowing another Christmas will go by that I will once again be without my mother. It is quite hard to deal with and come to terms with because sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to. When I do talk about it, people usually say “oh you poor thing, that must be very hard I don't know what to say” so in the past I would just hold the pain in all to myself and deal with it on my own without sharing it with the world. But this is the reality for a lot of people in Ireland and there are things we can all do to manage our grief.

So here are some of my tips on how I deal with grief over Christmas.

Focus on positive things:

Try not to just sit around and drown in your sorrows. When you feel very low it’s important to occupy your mind and not focus on the negatives. One thing that helps me is something a famous YouTuber said: “get a piece of paper and write down five things your thankful for with a hot drink.” It will give your mind some positives to focus on.

Get out for a walk:

Sometimes instead of sitting around it's important to get up and get out. When we feel sad, it can be very hard to actually drag yourself up off the couch or bed and face the world, because you just want to hide. But getting up and out can do wonders for your head. So no matter how much energy it takes you, make yourself go out for a walk, take a pair of earphones and listen to a podcast or some music and just breathe in the fresh air!

Write a letter to your loved one:

Sometimes getting it down on paper is the best thing you can do. Write a proper letter, and tell them how you feel and everything that is going on inside of you. Don't hold back. Hopefully you'll feel much better after doing this.

Watch a funny movie or a funny TV series:

If you can't manage to get out for a walk or do anything I've listed, put your feet up and throw on a funny sitcom like Friends, or a funny comedy like Rush Hour 3, or Central Intelligence. They never fail to make me laugh.

Have a good cry:

Sometimes we just need to let it out and cry. Holding it in is such an unhealthy coping mechanism and sometimes crying can really make you feel much better.

Meet up with a friend:

There is nothing better than meeting up with a good friend who always makes you laugh. Sometimes a good laugh and a good chat is all you need.

Time for acknowledgement

This isn't going to be easy by any means, but I’ve found it helps to accept that our loved one will not be with us this Christmas. We cannot put it aside any longer. I came to this conclusion recently, and it was hard. It is extremely hard to accept that the person we adore most will not be present this Christmas. I cried for a short while before taking a deep breath and moving on, and coming to the acceptance that yes, maybe she isn't present but I will always remember her presence. Once I brought myself to the reality of it, I really felt like there was a weight lifted off my shoulders. For years and years, I ignored the fact that I was hurting until this year where I realised I just don't have the energy to hold onto so much negativity at such a special time of the year. So I sat down, I gave myself time and I finally accepted the fact that my mother will not be here for Christmas, and because of this, I feel so much better this year.

Anyone who has lost someone they truly adore will know how hard it is at Christmas time as it is a family orientated holiday. Christmas is always going to be a hard time for us, but it's how we deal with it and who we do have with us that matters.

November is a strange time of the year. On the one hand it’s getting even colder, darker and rainier than usual but on the other hand it’s also the run up to Christmas which is synonymous with Christmas shopping, itchy jumpers, selections boxes, mulled wine, blankets, fluffy socks and hot chocolate in front of the fire. However, November has a particular significance for me because November is the month I started my recovery journey from an eating disorder.

I was in 6th year in secondary school at the time, the dreaded leaving cert year. Unfortunately, the stress of moving school coupled with academic pressure, my own perfectionism and past experiences had become too much and I developed anorexia. At the time, I didn’t recognise the thought patterns and behaviours as being an eating disorder. I only knew about eating disorders in abstract terms from SPHE class or the version often portrayed by the media. I didn’t know anyone who had one and I never thought that it was something that could or would happen to me.  

It was that November that I realised I couldn’t continue down the path I was on. When people hear the word anorexia they almost always instantly think about weight. I want to highlight the fact that anorexia is not primarily about weight. This harmful stereotype often prevents people from feeling they can ask for help and even from getting help in the first place since in my experience services are weight focused. Anorexia is about not feeling good enough, being permanently cold, spending every waking moment obsessing about food (or even dreaming about it), hair falling out, never having energy no matter how much you sleep and being unable to concentrate no matter how hard you try.

I can clearly remember the day in November I decided to start fighting back against the voice in my head. I was sick of avoiding social situations involving food. It was coming up to another Christmas which I didn’t want to be dominated by arguments about food – the lies pretending I had already eaten, the constant fear around food and obsessive calorie counting, the need to exercise even when I was already exhausted and being cold even while wearing 3 jumpers. I came to understand that I am worth more than a number on the scale and I recognised that no matter how much weight I lost it would never be enough for anorexia. I started out by making a list of all the reasons why I wanted to recover from anorexia as motivation. I wanted to get my period back because I want to be able to have children in the future. I wanted to be able to eat cake at my next birthday. I wanted to be able to wear shorts and go swimming in the summer without being ashamed or self-conscious about my body and most of all I wanted to be able to go to university and be free from the rules that governed my every action.

I could never have guessed how difficult recovery would be, nor how long it would take. It has taken 3 years and more ups and downs than a rollercoaster in Thorpe Park but I have finally managed it and can proudly say that I am recovered and that I am living the university life I didn’t think possible. One thing I didn’t know at the time was that you don’t just choose recovery once, you choose it every single day until it’s no longer a question. Every meal time you have to remind yourself why you are doing this, you have to push through the fears, the doubts, the omnipresent guilt and the overbearing insecurities. Nobody tells you about the night sweats, the discomfort involved in restoring your weight or that bittersweet feeling of pride mixed with terror and regret as you bring yet another bag of clothes that no longer fit to the charity shop. Yes, you will have moments where you ask yourself if it’s all worth it. Yes, you will think that you were happier then, that life was better when you were ill. Your eating disorder is sneaky and will try and worm its way back into your life in the most unexpected of ways. You have to shut the door to it and move forward toward a healthier and ultimately happier life.

“Food is not the enemy, your eating disorder is” became one of my mantras as did “fat is not a feeling” that helped me through each day. I will admit that sometimes that voice in my head does scream at me, but I’ve learned to scream louder and if you have that same voice in your head. I hope this can prove to you that recovery is possible and that there is a life beyond an eating disorder.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

I recently was given the opportunity to attend Zeminar in November in the RDS in Dublin with SpunOut.ie. I never got the opportunity to go when I was in secondary school so I was excited to see what it was all about.

Zeminar is an annual event which is described as “a social enterprise created to bring all those invested in the development and well-being of young people in Ireland to one place.” It takes place over three days. There is a huge wealth of events, talks and stands to visit, all related to young people in Ireland and delivered by influencers, experts and organisations that tackle and address issues that affect young people.

The event kicked off at about nine-thirty and I reached the RDS at about 10:30, met with the SpunOut Team at their stall and then ventured off into the world of Zeminar. Although it was early morning, it was already a hub of activity.  The first talk I went to was Youth Well-being, on the main stage. This talk was given by Stella O ‘Malley, Roe McDermott and Dr. Colman Noctor. Each speaker addressed a different aspect of youth well-being, connecting and belonging, sex and consent in the age of pornography and maintaining well-being in the digital age.

Stella O'Malley spoke passionately about the disconnect many teenager experiences and feel when they’re trying to fit in and belong. She described how instead of “finding your space” you should “take it” instead and how every time you resort to fakery to fit in you bring yourself to a lonelier place. She encouraged her listeners to grow stronger by being their real and authentic selves, own our weaknesses and to “wear yourself as your vulnerable self.” She left us with one final message: “the fear of not belonging is a sign that you are supposed to be somewhere else”

The next topic was one that might be considered slightly more controversial than “finding your true self”. Roe McDermott brought up the topic of sex, pornography and consent. I noticed a wave of shifting nervously in seats and a rise of chatter when she uttered that one word…sex. One boy next to me started fanning himself. This topic is so important and so relevant to teenagers in Ireland at the moment, even though there is a general taboo around talking to young people about it. McDermott described this as “selfishness” and how she believes sex should be empowering. She spoke about how pornography is not designed for teenagers and projects this idea of “fantasy” into young people’s minds, creating a gap between fantasy and reality as pornography isn’t a real depiction of sex. She emphasised that she doesn’t think porn is bad, she just wants people to engage their critical thinking skills when watching it. She asked the crowd to remember the differences between fantasy and reality, acknowledge these differences and engage empathy and communication always.

Dr. Colman Noctor brought up how we live in a comparative culture where we no longer have to “peek through curtains to see how the Jones’s are getting on”. He described how more choice leads to more anxiety and how then this fuels perfectionism. Our on-demand culture can lead to bypassing experiences that build emotion and how human desire needs to be regulated.

“Breaking Through” was the title of the next discussion with Jack Kavanaugh and Rory’s Stories. This was probably my favourite talk. Two very talented speakers. Everyone in the room was hooked on every word they said.

Jack’s talk was titled “Fearless like a child” and through his life story, his childhood, his accident and his journey through that, he described his search for his authentic self. Life through the eyes of a child is full of magic and wonder, he said. There are no limits to their dreams and ambitions and everything seems possible. He described how he felt adults were always telling children from a young age to fear and face reality. He acknowledges how although these lessons are necessary, they also “dampen” the magic. He believes you need to unlearn a certain amount of these lessons and focus on only impressing yourself and how “ the bravest thing a person can do is to bring “their authentic self to the world and then you’ll see the magic.”

Rory also, described his journey, through his childhood and battle with depression, to find his authentic self. Through his ever-hilarious way, he told people to essentially be themselves. People aren’t going to like you anyway and to pursue your goals and not to worry about finding your place. There’s time to explore, to find your hidden talents, just like he did. There’s no need to let perceptions limit you, go after your dreams like your life depends on it.

All of these speakers came from different backgrounds and have very different occupations, opinions and ideas. However they all tried to put across the same message, they all urged the their young listeners to follow their dreams and ambitions and to stay true to their own authentic selves.

It was a great day and a really interesting experience. I’d highly recommend going to Zeminar if you get the opportunity as there is plenty to see, hear and learn about.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

Proteins are considered the building blocks of the body, supporting all of its essential functions. In the right amount, protein promotes growth, aids recovery from injury, and helps to manage metabolism (the process by which your body converts what you eat and drink into energy).

Having too much protein in the diet (such as by eating too much of it in food or supplements) can increase the risk of heart disease, kidney injury, and brittle bone conditions. Eating excess protein does not increase the chances of gaining more muscle.

What are protein supplements?

Protein supplements are a source of nutrients and come in many forms, such as vitamins, protein powders and herbal products. Some people who want to change their bodies through fitness choose to use supplements as a way to enhance their muscle growth. This is often combined with strength training such as weightlifting. There is no evidence that this works and it is not recommended by dietitians.

For more information on how to gain muscle in a healthy way click here.

Protein powders come in the form of shakes, bars, and capsules, and are one of the most popular supplements used to increase muscle mass. They are available to buy over-the-counter and online. Protein supplements may claim to promote muscle growth, help with weight loss, improve physical performance, and boost energy. However, the evidence to support these claims is often insufficient.

Do protein supplements work?

No. A healthy and balanced diet will provide enough protein to support all body functions, including building muscle mass. Weight-bearing exercise is the key to building muscle mass – not increasing protein intakes. Protein supplements are not suitable as meal replacements because they don’t have all the vitamins and nutrients that a balanced meal would have.

Protein supplements don’t have any significant benefits for the average person. The overwhelming majority of people already exceed their protein requirements through their diet, it is not a case of the more protein you eat, the more muscle you have.

To meet your requirements through food, it is recommended  to choose a protein source with each meal, which should take up about one quarter of your plate. Sources of foods high in protein include red meat, chicken, fish, eggs, cheese and yoghurt. There are also excellent vegan and vegetarian sources of protein including nuts, beans, lentils and tofu.

Visit our Healthy Eating section on the site to learn about creating a balanced diet.

What risk is involved with taking protein supplements?

If you eat a healthy and balanced diet, you will get enough protein without needing a protein supplement. There is evidence that, in the long term, too much protein through supplementation can lead to an increased risk of osteoporosis and worsen existing kidney problems.

If you choose to use protein supplements, always read the label carefully and only take the recommended serving size. If you are unsure of how much you should take, ask your GP or a registered dietitian for advice. If you are worried or have any side effects from taking a supplement you should visit your GP.

If you are taking medication as well as supplements, the supplements may stop the medicine working properly. Always read the label and check the safety of a supplement with your pharmacist.

What are the differences between supplements and steroids?

Supplements claim to contribute nutrients to your diet and to be beneficial. Anabolic steroids are drugs that raise the level of anabolic hormones in the body.

Testosterone is an anabolic steroid. You can buy supplements over the counter and online, but steroids can only be prescribed by your doctor. It is illegal and highly dangerous to buy or consume them without a medical prescription. Under the Irish Sports Council Anti-Doping Rules, the use of steroids is banned in sports.

For more information on steroids, their uses, side effects and the risk they bring click here.

Feeling under pressure to make your body conform to a certain shape?

There is a lot of pressure in society to have a certain body type. People of all genders can feel under pressure to have strong, muscled bodies that look like those we see in the media. Sometimes, people take steroids and supplements because they feel it will help them achieve these results, despite the health consequences. However, this is not healthy approach and can do harm to your body.

There are many different body shapes and sizes, and it’s recommended that we eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and embrace the body shape the have naturally. Don’t risk your health in the attempt to achieve a certain body type. For more information on body image, click here.

If you are worried about how much time you spend thinking about your body image, you might want to talk to someone about it. Jigsaw is a youth counselling service for people age 12-25 where you can talk to someone about your body image and how you feel about yourself. You can also call BodyWhys, the Eating Disorder Association of Ireland, on their Helpline 01 210 7906.

Listen to this article, read by the author, for the In My Own Words Podcast by spunout.ie:

Over the past 100 years, there has been a focus on achieving equal rights for all. We have been steadily working to improve this world, one day at a time. One law at a time. We undoubtedly have improved this world significantly over the last 100 years and we have countless brave people to thank for helping to rid the world of many stigmas.

Learning as a child

For this piece, I want to talk about the social stigma on men. Yes, that’s right, men. The group in society who seem to have whatever they could possibly want, yes? No. Close to it maybe, but no. I feel men are completely and utterly stifled in what I believe to be one of the most important, decisive and controlling aspects of any person’s life.

Men are stifled in terms of their emotions. Emotions, those funny little things that at the end of the day, tend to dictate every single little thing that any one of us does in our lives. It is drilled into us from a young age that “boys don’t cry”. It doesn’t stop there, however. It branches off into boys not being able to express almost any emotions at all. Unless that emotion is aggression in some form or another. This is reinforced throughout the rest of our lives by our social circles of other men. 

Talking helps your mental health

It is interesting that the first method for dealing with mental health problems is always seen as talking. Vocalising and validating your emotions and letting them flow out of you is hugely important for overcoming certain issues. I think that what we teach boys from a very young age denies them this option. It starves them of what they need most. Which is to talk, to feel heard, to feel like someone will listen, to simply bloody feel without fear of reprisal. We deny men compassion through the social stigma of ‘boys don’t cry’, we deny them a fair shot at dealing with their emotions. This may be one of the reasons the rate of suicide amongst men is so high.  

I believe this particular cultural stigma stems from times when ‘men had to be men’. The phrase “stiff upper lip” has been associated with Britain for a long time. It comes from World War II. It comes from a time of a huge amount of loss of life, a time of truly unrelenting hardship. I understand why that phrase existed then and why boys were taught to bottle up feelings and be emotionally strong, then. I understand why when loved ones were dying in unprecedented numbers, due to unspeakable evil, boys were taught to keep their emotions reserved, in order to have them ready to fight the fight that needed to be fought. But that was then. This is now. 

Men deserve compassion

We need to create a new phrase. I personally like the idea of ‘men deserve compassion’. They need it more than anything else. They deserve it too. To make the suicide rate for men drop, it is important to teach them that they are just as entitled to feel and express their emotions as anyone else. 

As already mentioned, the male suicide rate is astronomically high. The biggest killer of Irish and British men under 35 is suicide, barring accidental death. Men also account for over 70% of missing person cases, almost 90% of the homeless population who sleep rough, over 95% of the prison population. Within the 95% of men imprisoned, over 90% have one or more serious mental health conditions. So, do men really have an easy time? 

This article is not an attempt to create a bidding war for who has it worse. Everyone suffers their fair share of hardship and nobodies pain is more justified than anyone else’s. It is an attempt of mine, instead, to stand up for men.  For men who have been told their whole lives to ‘man up’ and bottle up all they feel or face the social stigma against them.  So, this piece is against the unjust treatment of men in terms of their emotions because sometimes I feel men’s emotional health is ignored. I truly believe that the suppression of men’s emotions is what leads to all the outrageously one-sided statistics that I have mentioned previously. Something needs to give.

This is an attitude deep-rooted into the fabric of our society. It is one held by many people in society. It is one that has been so deeply internalised by men that they slag each other for being too in touch with their emotions, even though we all feel the same emotions. 

It is time for the world to come to terms with the fact that maybe life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for men. That maybe men can’t escape the dull clouds of anxiety either. Maybe we feel the depressing rain on our skin just as much. We can feel just as small and down on the inside as anyone else can. However, we don’t vocalise it and through our stiff upper lips, these feelings all too often lead to premature and tragic death. Men deserve to be rid of this social stigma. Men deserve compassion. 

This article was written by a spunout.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

Being at school or college can be a huge challenge for those with a mental health issue as well as for those without. To put it into context, according to the Mental Health Foundation in the UK 20% of adolescents may experience a mental health problem in any given year, 50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 rising to 75% by age 24. 10% of children and young people aged 5-16 years have a clinically diagnosable mental health issue yet 70% of children and adolescents who experience mental health problems have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age. 

Even though we all have mental health in the same way we have physical health, it is not something that we learn about in school or talk about in our day to day lives. If you are struggling with mental health issues you are not alone! You might feel like you are the only one, but I guarantee you that there are others. Don’t be afraid to speak up and reach out. Here are some things that I think might help you cope during the school year. 

Check in with yourself

Ask yourself how you are feeling, if you are eating well, doing enough exercise, meeting up with friends, getting out of the house and sleeping enough. 

Give yourself mental health days

It’s perfectly acceptable to take days off when you aren’t feeling mentally strong enough, just like you would when you aren’t feeling physically well. There is no shame in admitting you need a break. It is good to take some time out every once in a while, to recharge your batteries and take some time for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone but be careful of not falling into the trap of staying home. It’s important to find a balance between knowing when to push yourself and when not to. 

Keep up your hobbies

Think of what you enjoyed doing as a child or try something new. We all have a talent or something we enjoy doing. It can be overwhelming trying something new, especially if you are anxious or a perfectionist so maybe start with something you can do at home like knitting or sewing. Joining a club is also a great way to get to know people and have support from others. 

Try and do some exercise every week

You don’t have to become the next world-class athlete but even a brisk walk, trampolining, dancing around your room to your favourite songs or playing catch with younger family members/neighbours counts. This might seem daunting at first but remember that some exercise is better than none and try not to fall into the black and white thinking trap of having to be perfect.

The 10-minute rule

If when you wake up you know it’s going to be a bad day and you can’t face getting up (not just the usual Monday blues) relax and tell yourself that you’ll get up for 10 minutes. If it seems impossible to face the day and you don’t know how you will cope tell yourself that once you get up you can go back to bed in 10 minutes. Get up, get dressed, brush your teeth, have breakfast. Try and get into your normal routine and hopefully after 10 minutes you will feel better able to face the day. This trick also works for going for a run where you tell yourself you can turn back after 10 minutes or tidying your room or studying. Even if you only manage 10 minutes, this is still a huge achievement and you can always try another 10 minutes again later in the day.

Alcohol and drugs are not your friends

I am aware of the huge peer pressure linked with alcohol or drugs and going out but know you don’t have to take these. For me, I know alcohol makes me feel worse the next day even if in the moment it might lessen the social anxiety and make it easier to feel carefree. This year, I have decided not to drink on nights out and I have even found others who are joining me in not drinking. I know it sounds clichéd, but you can have fun without alcohol.The peace of mind knowing I’m not damaging my mental or physical health makes it worth it. 

Let someone know

Talk to your year head, course coordinator, tutor, teacher, the administration whoever it may be. It is easier if you tell them so that they can put the necessary supports in place or even just so you have a place to go if you need some space and a time out during the day. There is no shame in admitting you have a mental health problem. You are allowed to do whatever makes it easiest for you to get through the day. 

Whatever happens, there is no need to feel alone. What you are going through is normal and happens to lots of people. Whatever you are experiencing is ok. We all feel sad, lonely, angry, upset, numb at some point or other even if we don’t talk about it and our social media feeds show us that everyone around us seems to have the “perfect” life. Finally, not all health professionals are understanding and validating so keep going until you find someone who listens and understands. You are deserving of help and support and you don’t have to fight this alone. Last but not least, it’s the little things that count so do your best to help yourself and those around you who might be struggling.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved. 

As a young teenager, my hobbies consisted of going through puberty and finding ways to not die of sheer boredom. School was a welcome change from my usual schedule of doing nothing. When June came along and school came to an end I became lost as what to do. My mind became incredibly overwhelmed with the sudden change, and as a response, I began having panic attacks from abandoning my daily routine. 

Panic attacks during the summer

Being totally unclear as to why I was having panic attacks, or what was causing them, I presumed I had become possessed by a demon whose sole purpose was to make me feel like I was in an infinite pool of fear. The panic attacks only became worse, and I had developed what I would later find out to be agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is defined as a “type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed.” I couldn’t leave the house out of fear of having an attack, and sometimes sitting at the dinner table was almost too difficult to bear. This feeling lasted the whole summer, and eventually went away when I went back to school that August. 

This became my annual tradition every summer, sometimes even sneaking in during the winter months as a little surprise. My mind became infatuated with my panic attacks, and I would spend hours online searching for some kind of quick fix to solve my pain. I found very little which made me feel worse. 

Finding out about anxiety

This was until I found out that what I had was anxiety, and that there were millions of people just like me. I found great comfort in knowing I was not alone, and over the years I found healthy coping mechanisms in mindfulness and simply just talking to people about how I felt. Today, five years after that summer, I no longer feel like the kid who is afraid of everything, and I am proud of who I have become. 

Even though I was able to get through my own personal hell, I wish I never had to go through it in the first place. In my five years of secondary school, the only times I had read about anxiety and depression was in SPHE (social, personal and health education), a subject that does not require any exams. As a result, it’s treated as a time for students to do their homework or throw small pieces of rubber at unsuspecting victims, which apparently is the funniest thing to ever grace the earth according to the mind of a teenage boy. 

All the information I had learned about anxiety and depression came from my online research, never from a classroom. In my last two years of secondary school, I saw a push on mental health awareness with posters put up on walls telling you that it is “ok to not feel ok,” a message that I agree with, but is simply not enough. 

Young people deserve more information

Labelling every mental health issue as “not feeling okay,” is not what young people should be taught. The young people of Ireland deserve to be taught properly about mental health because no child should feel like the outcast. It’s hard to deny that we are going through a dark time as a country. The homeless crisis is damaging the very structure of our society. Unemployment remains quite high in many counties. And while the numbers are decreasing, many of us have friends, family and neighbours who take their lives every year. It’s hard to stay positive when everything around you is falling apart, but with the right mindset, changing your perspective on a situation can make the world of difference. 

This is where I believe the introduction of mental health education into schools’ curriculum could really change the future of Ireland. If schools were to teach children from a young age how to empathise with one another, and how to cope and identify with their feelings, we could create a more tolerating country and one that people would be proud to live in. Since children spend so much time in school, it makes sense that much of their development takes place there. If children were taught how to become more accepting of themselves and others, we might see some of the most positive changes the country has ever experienced. We have had an excellent few years in becoming a more progressive country, so why stop here? Children are our future, so let’s make sure our country, and our world, is in the best hands.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

 

When people think of Ireland there is one stereotype that, without fail, is brought up. That is that Ireland is a nation with a love for alcohol. Usually that stereotype is taken lightly by the Irish and doesn’t cause any particular offence. After all, it’s not like we can deny it.

It may all seem like fun and games but the National Alcohol Diary Survey (2014) found that more than half (54%) of 18-75 year old drinkers were classified as harmful drinkers which equates to 1.35 million harmful drinkers in Ireland. 75% of all alcohol consumed in Ireland in 2013 was done so as part of a binge drinking session with one in five (21.1%) drinkers engaging in binge drinking at least once a week. Binge drinking is defined as anything more than six standard alcoholic beverages in one session.

Although it is illegal in Ireland to drink alcohol under the age of 18, many Irish people start drinking as young as the early teens. It is not a surprise that the attitude held by Ireland’s adults towards alcohol is easily absorbed by young people. Like in any situation, children are a product of their environment, which in Ireland, is extremely alcohol centred. If parents give the impression that excessive drinking is okay, their kids will likely follow in their footsteps. In a study of 15 year olds, 15% of boys and 11% of girls reported their first drunkness at age 13 or younger. Another survey found that almost two-thirds (63.9%) of males and half (51.4%) of females started drinking alcohol before the age of 18 years.

Of course, some people also choose to avoid alcohol for a variety of reasons.

‘A lot of my friends, when drunk, become messes which really doesn’t appeal to me. My family suffer with alcoholism. This for me is a problem that I don’t want to happen to me. It obviously might not get that bad but the fear is still there’, explained Adam, 21, who makes the decision to abstain from consuming alcohol.

According to the Drink Aware parent research report (2015) 53% of parents consider it acceptable for children to drink alcohol at home before the age of 18. The same study found that 23% of parents have not spoken to their children about alcohol. Many parents believe that if they are the ones to provide their children’s alcohol, it will lead to lower alcohol related risks. However, the opposite was found to be true as in an Australian study published in the Lancet Public Health in 2018. Teenagers given alcohol by their parents were 95 per cent more likely to binge drink in the future than those who had found another way to get a drink.

‘My parents hate the thought of me going out on a mad one but know that its normal for people my age so I’m allowed. In the last year, they’ve always advised me as to what drinks are better to start with and which ones to stay away from. Even though they’re not completely happy with the situation they feel more comfortable because they know I’m informed of the dangers’, said 16 year old Cíola from Dublin.  

Those working in the alcohol industry are aware of what is going on, but unfortunately there is little that can be done to stop.

‘The amount of underage people that try and get served is unbelievable. A lot of them have fake ID so even though we can tell they are underage, we can’t prove it so there’s nothing we can do. If they don’t have ID and get kicked out they’ll usually stay in the beer garden and get one of their friends that is 18 to buy them a drink. However, since it is a local pub, the main case of underage drinking I see is parents buying their kids a drink when they all go to the pub together,’ said Rachel, a bartender in a local North Dublin pub.

According to DrinkAware, an independent, non-profit company which is funded by contributions from the alcohol and grocery retail industries, it is the parents responsibility to make sure their children handle alcohol responsibly. Parents are urged to lead by example, ensure their children have other hobbies and are not bored, set out ground rules involving alcohol use and develop an open, trusting relationship with their child.

‘My parents definitely had an influence on the fact that I don’t drink alcohol. My Mam doesn’t drink much other than wine and my dad doesn’t drink alcohol at all. Being sober never seemed to hold my dad back from having any fun and I’ve found that that’s also true for myself. ‘ said Nicola, aged 19, who has never consumed alcohol before.

Nobody is saying that we should cleanse ourselves of all alcohol and become a completely sober country, but it is important to understand that the drinking culture associated with Ireland goes much deeper than casual social drinks in the pub. Each generation looks at the one coming up behind them and says things like ‘the problem is getting worse’ or ‘we weren’t that bad’. The penny needs to drop that these habits are not picked up from thin air and the teenagers are only a product of the environment they are brought up in.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

When many of us were growing up, if you ordered a burger you assumed it was a beef one. Then, the occasional chicken burger came creeping in. Nowadays, veggie burgers are far more common, but they can be a mixed bag in terms of quality, something which I have come to realise since adopting a plant-based diet.

If I had the time, I would try and make all my own food but at times my week does not allow for a full cooking show in the household kitchen. However, when I do make recipes, I make them in bulk. So, when I make veggie burgers I’ll make eight and when I make a big pot of lentil stew I freeze four/five portions.

This way, when I come home from college, I pop them in the oven/microwave and there is very little prep involved. The five-minute heat up is the perfect time to take off the makeup and grab the nearest pyjama set.

I hope this beetroot veggie burger recipe will restore or keep the faith in plant-based eating for you. These little purple patties are really tasty and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Recipe ingredients

Method

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 180 degrees.
  2. Place half the lentils into a blender and blitz until a paste
  3. Place them in a bowl with the remaining lentils, grated beetroot, oats, eggs or chia eggs, spices and chopped onion.
  4. Mix until well combined and then shape into 8 patties.
  5. Heat the pan on high and add a tablespoon of oil.
  6. When hot cook on the heat for 4-5 minutes, flip half way.
  7. Pop the burgers on your baking tray, (I picked up some silicone baking sheets at the shop which are brilliant and re-usable).
  8. Cook for twenty minutes.
  9. I served my pattie inside a wholemeal bun on a sheet of spinach, hummus and topped with extra hummus and sriracha which is a tasty AF hot spice.
  10. I also roasted up some baby potatoes, sliced them in half coated them in rapeseed oil and spices for 45 minutes.

If you have beetroot veggie burger patties leftover, place them in the freezer and defrost 24 hours ahead of time when planning on eating.

You can add these into wraps, pitta breads, salads and buddha bowls too.

Happily, n(ever) after

I never quite understood the real meaning of happiness until I was in my twenties. And how could I when nothing major had necessarily happened or gone wrong (apart from giving myself impulsive haircuts from time to time). But your twenties are funny, and I don’t mean the “haha this is hilarious” funny, I mean the “what is this absolute fuck” type funny. I like to describe them as feeling both lost and found at the same time. Ironic really. Some days you have three balls juggling in the air and for once you don’t feel like you’re winging it, dare I say we have found balance? Then fast-forward 2 weeks and those balls are nowhere to be seen. As Dad so eloquently puts it, “they are out the gap”. But today I want to talk about a different type of gap and that is, the expectation gap and why we are not as happy as we think we should be.

Sink or Swim

According to the dictionary, happiness is defined as “a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe or lucky, they feel happiness”. All sounds well and good doesn’t it? Sounds pretty achievable too. But one day you’re juggling away as normal when something hits you, an actual curve ball, and this curve ball is best known as life. And by “life” I mean circumstances that we were not expecting, the opposite of happiness, this ball is sadness. You now realise the job you always dreamed of was not for you. That relationship you thought would last simply broke your heart in two. A doctor informs you that you will never carry to full term. And you will never be a pilot because at the age of 16 you discover you’re colour blind. Sometimes in life surviving is just as important as being happy and I think that’s not something we are ever taught in school or at home until something truly bad happens.

Happiness? Pffftt, forget happiness, we now only have 2 choices, we can either sink or we can swim. And swimming isn’t always easy. None of us were born natural Michael Phelps. Even Buddhism’ definition of life is “dukkha” which translates as “suffering”. So maybe if we understand that life can’t always be this happy magical place, maybe we will actually find true happiness in tiny moments where we least expect it. Like when a toddler makes a funny face at you behind their parents’ shoulders, when you get a free coffee, when you finally feel confident and deliver that dreaded presentation, and my favourite – looking at the grooms face when he gets a first glimpse of his wife to be as she walks down the aisle. You see happiness to me is found when I’m not actively looking for it.

What’s mine is not yours

We live in a digital age and in my opinion, we like to share. But just like your older sibling who was very selective about which toys they would share with you, we too are selective about what we share with the world through social media. How can we be expected to deal with real lows if all we are seeing is fake highs? It literally makes no sense. We are setting ourselves out for failure if we are searching for happiness based on someone else’s happiness. To whoever is currently reading this, my happiness will be completely different to yours. For example, I am happy when my phone dies for a while and I’m disconnected to the world (even briefly), when I step on an extra crunchy leaf in October, when the tea is at perfect temperature to drink, and even when I make someone laugh when all they could do at that point was cry. Nobodies happiness is wrong, but if we are comparing ourselves and our journey to other people – it might feel like it is.

A different happy ending

So how can we be happier? Well I think we can first start off by adjusting our expectations. For example, it’s your 10th birthday. All you have dreamt about for the months leading up to it is a new pony. You have been jumping hurdles all year with “Cinderella” but sadly, she is not for sale. You have asked your parents for a pony of your very own and have promised to care for her in the local riding club. It’s the day of your birthday, your parents tell you to close your eyes and when you open them, there is the most beautiful white puppy shuffling about on your lap with a bone tag on its collar labelled “snow white”. Instead of being elated with joy that you have this tiny puppy literally dancing all over you in your arms asking to be loved, all you can think about is the pony that never came. In fairy tale terms it’s as if you got the glass slipper but it simply wouldn’t fit.  Instead of gaining a puppy, you feel the loss of the pony. But what did that puppy do to deserve such grief? You see when we have our expectations set so high, we can’t even enjoy what is right in front of us. So we need to make a subconscious effort to change how we feel about things. Adjust the expectation, higher the possible outcome. And I don’t mean walk into a job interview and say, “I definitely won’t get this” but if we can adjust our mindsets to “It’s only a job at the end of the day.” That’s all it will be at.

At the end of the day what defines happiness? After all, if Cinderella’s shoe fit so perfectly then why did it fall off in the first place?

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

Normally, I don’t really pay much attention when the Kardashians are in the news; alleged lip surgeries, breakup rumors, I just can’t keep up with them. Then, last week, I read that the Kardashians – along with hundreds of other residents of the area – were forced to evacuate their homes in California to escape the extreme forest fires ravaging there. Truly a much more serious issue.

As climate change is now knocking on the doors of the world’s richest, I wondered, will this make people see the urgency of issue?

Earlier this month, over 90 well-respected scientists from over forty countries stressed again: us humans are the cause of dangerous climate change and need to start seriously tackling the issue. That is, if we want to have a future on this planet where we’re not constantly battling extreme weather events like hurricanes and floods, as well as heat waves and droughts.

While US President Donald Trump was quick to blame California’s forest fires – which have already resulted in more than 60 deaths and 600+ people missing – on poor forest management, he did acknowledge that climate change might have contributed ‘a little bit’.

In the past, some would talk about scientific uncertainty around our impact on the climate. Now, the only uncertainty is how quickly our climate is breaking down, and how hard this will hit us. So what exactly is happening?

Simply put, when we burn fossil fuels like oil and gas, large amounts of carbon dioxide (CO2) and other ‘greenhouse gases’ are released into the atmosphere that, together, trap the sun’s heat like a big blanket. As all this heat would otherwise have been radiated back out to space, the planet is now heating up an alarming rate.  

Fortunately, alternatives to fossil fuels are already widely available in the form of solar and wind energy for example. Sadly, though, we’re still mainly use highly polluting energy sources such as coal, oil and gas to fuel our cars, factories, planes and agricultural produce – amongst others.  

With the Paris agreement of 2015, 174 governments across the globe agreed to reduce their emissions so that temperature rises does not go over 1.5°C, or, if that fails, 2°C. This is compared to average temperatures before the industrial revolution started at around 1850. We are approximately at 1°C man-caused temperature rise now, and the consequences are already proving to be really serious across the planet.

As a recent United Nations report shows: climate action by governments must triple if we want to stay below 2°C, and even five-fold if we want to stay with 1.5°C temperature rise to avoid more extreme climate damage. We need urgent action, but governments across the world are carrying on with ‘business as usual’ – including here in Ireland where emissions are growing still.

Climate Case Ireland, a legal case between a group of concerned citizens represented by Friends of the Irish Environment, and the Irish state, deals exactly with this issue. Climate change is a threat to us all, but the government’s policies on climate change are weak and unambitious. Even though the Irish government promised to seriously reduce emissions, emissions per Irish citizen are some of  the highest in Europe and are growing still.

With this case, we’re taking the government to court to bind them to the promises they’ve made on climate action. In the last few months, more than 4000 people have stated on our website that this case is also ‘in their name’, giving us great hope for a meaningful change that’s coming in how we treat our planet and what kind of future we’re creating for ourselves.

At the start of this piece, I named the Kardashians as an example of how climate change affects each and every one of us. A key difference, however, is that Kim and Kanye were able to take their private jet and evacuate to one of their other properties, while private firefighters managed to save their threatened home. It shows how we really can’t keep up with the Kardashians; these are luxuries that the majority of people cannot afford. And so we can already see that climate change hits those who are already the most vulnerable the hardest.

Communities in Western-Africa directly depend on successful harvests to survive, and now increasingly see them fail. Farmers in Bangladesh have started to raise ducks instead of chickens, because during catastrophic floods and cyclones, ducks float. Even here in Ireland, one of the wettest places on the planet, crops died and people were cut off from water supplies because of droughts last summer.

As spokespersons for Climate Case Ireland, myself and a group of other volunteers will be going across the country in the coming weeks to tell you about our Climate Case and why we need climate action now. Whether you are supportive of our action or not, I’d like to invite you all to ‘keep up with our case’; attend, engage, follow our progress and show the government that this case is for all of us!  

Our hearing is scheduled for 22 January, 2019, until that time make sure to keep up to date with all of our scheduled talks and updates by checking on our webpage. 

Find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and see what you can do to reduce your own carbon footprint. 

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

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