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Don't look to society to find self-worth

Learning to work on your self-esteem


Written by Vicky Downey and posted in voices


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In today's society, it's no doubt many of us will observe the trends and changes around us. We are fed the ideal body, personality, image and so on particularly through social media. Many young people feel the need to look a certain way. But by constantly comparing yourself to other people, I truly believe your self-esteem will plummet. Such that trying to make yourself look like Zac Efron or Beyoncé, you are only destroying your confidence and becoming a subject of social influence.

By looking through these 'perfect' photos of celebrities, fitness fanatics or imagining the clothes every other teenager is wearing you're not doing yourself any good. The way I see it is that, when young people mirror the images of other young people, they're more or less expressing that they're trying to feel more confident and less vulnerable. Some are fearful to stand out so they crave to fit in. This is what young people need to grasp. Just because everybody else is doing it doesn’t mean you should too. If you really do admire the clothing trends or make-up style then of course go for it, but don’t change yourself to merely impress others. It’s not worth it.

Not only do we compare body types I also think people tend to look to other people to feel worthy or important. For instance, lately on Facebook I've noticed girls putting up quite a lot of lovey dovey quotes or statuses about guys. A lot of these posts would be about how men treat women, how a man makes them feel loved etc and not only does this baffle me but I also find it quite bizarre. Of course, everyone wants to feel loved, but why don't we just love ourselves. Why do those girls who posts those statuses need a man to make them feel worthy? You don't need someone to call you beautiful or to tell you that you look great in that dress. Tell yourself you are beautiful and you look great in that dress. We need to stop looking to society and other people for approval.

Another interesting thing I've noticed is people comparing their lives with the lives of others. For example, you're on Instagram and your friend just told you about how she's going on a month’s holiday this summer and how she's buying a new car next week. When you've been told this, you many feel quite disappointed. In the sense that your life seems nowhere exciting as that. This is the problem, when you're comparing your grades, holidays, job and lifestyle to that of other people you are essentially telling your mind you're worthless. Life is not a competition.

What I always think is important is to give yourself some credit at the end of the day. Somewhere out there somebody would love to be in the position you're in. You’re always one step ahead than you think. I would suggest starting each day with something you're grateful for, it doesn't have to be something big. As well as that give yourself something to do each day that maybe you've been putting off. Whether it be cleaning that pile of clothes in the corner or your room or to go and do that theory test. By doing something productive each day, you're enhancing your confidence. Finally remember that, "If you want to improve your self-worth stop giving other people the calculator."

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering options here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

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Published Novem­ber 13th2017
Tags self esteem mental health
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