What I learned by sharing my experience of suicidal thoughts online

Editor’s note: This article includes a discussion of suicidal ideation. Please take care if you choose to read on. Our text support service details are listed below.

I’ve been described as a private person by others, and talking about my experiences of suicidal ideation to anyone was never something I’d thought of doing, let alone opening up about this online.

Opening up for the first time

After years of struggling in silence, I finally opened up about my struggles and got mental health support. It was only after a few years of receiving support that I thought about sharing some of my story online.

I decided to raise money for Pieta by cycling 225km during suicide prevention month. I wanted to make as much money as possible for this cause. I knew that social media would be a good way to share the fundraiser and spread awareness about suicide prevention.

I wanted to explain why Pieta is a charity so close to my heart, rather than just sharing the fundraiser with no context. I was terrified to post about this, but if I could make one person feel less alone, then it would be worth it.

Balancing honesty and safety

I posted on Instagram and TikTok. It was important for me to be able to say what I wanted to say about my experience without going into details that could possibly be triggering for other people.

It was enough for me to simply say that I’ve struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts and that I wanted to help others who felt the same. I found it helpful to think about what would be useful for me to read if I saw someone else post about suicide.

I made sure to make my posts hopeful by explaining that things can get better and encouraging others who may be struggling to reach out for support. Once I clicked the post button, I was so anxious that I threw my phone away from me.

The response I got from others

The response I got was incredible and so heartwarming. I wasn’t expecting anything like it. So many people reached out to me, whether by publicly commenting on my posts or donating and/or messaging me privately.

It felt great to have finally gotten something so personal off my chest and into the open, as I’d hidden this part of myself from even my closest friends and family for far too long.

I felt hugely relieved and felt so supported by my friends, family and strangers. Posting online made me feel more able to open up about my mental health issues to people in person, too. Once I posted that first post, I felt confident enough to post more about mental health issues and repost posts from different services about support.

Why I’m glad I spoke up

For me, talking about suicide online was a great decision and helped me to feel empowered. I learned that it’s not as scary as it seems to talk about suicide online.

While many people responded with kindness and support, everyone’s experience is different, so it’s important to think about your own well-being and what support you have around you before sharing. Sharing my story was helpful for me, but everyone is different. Some people may choose to talk openly about their experiences, while others may prefer to keep them private

Speaking up about suicidal thoughts and getting support played a crucial role in saving my life, and sharing my story online hopefully helped others who were feeling hopeless and suicidal to feel less alone and like life is worth living.

Learn how to stay safe online when interacting with online content relating to suicide, self-harm and eating disorders.