My journey with identity and acceptance as a gay Irish Traveller

Life has been a mix of ups and downs, but through it all, I’ve learned a lot about identity, resilience, and the importance of support. Here’s a glimpse into my experiences and the lessons I’ve gathered along the way.

Listen to Shane’s story

 

The importance of support and resilience

I’m incredibly fortunate to have a strong support system around me. It’s one of the things I value most. There will always be people who try to bring you down, who question or criticise you.

In the past, I might have let their negativity affect me more, but now, I’m in a place where their opinions don’t hold the same weight. I’ve realised that I don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about who I am.

Having supportive friends and family has made all the difference. They’ve helped me stay grounded and confident, even when others haven’t been as kind. So, my advice is to build a circle of people who lift you up and accept you for who you are. It makes a world of difference.

Embracing your identity: go at your own pace

“You deserve to be in spaces where you are appreciated and accepted. If you’re not being valued, step away and prioritise your well-being.”

Navigating your identity is a deeply personal journey, and it’s not always easy. I know that now. I used to wish it were easier, but I’ve come to accept that this journey is meant to be hard at times.

Remember, there’s no rush. Go at your own pace—whether you’re newly out, struggling, or have been living authentically for a while. Everyone’s journey is different, and that’s okay. You’ll have good days and bad days, and that’s perfectly normal. Just take it one step at a time, and don’t be afraid to seek out support when you need it.

Removing yourself from unsupportive environments

One of the hardest but most crucial pieces of advice I can give is to remove yourself from environments or relationships that do not support you.

“Get up from any table that does not serve you,” as I like to say. If you’re in a situation where you’re not being accepted or valued, it’s important to step away. This can be incredibly difficult, especially if you’re facing severe rejection or lack of support, but prioritising your own well-being is essential. Remember, you deserve to be in spaces where you are appreciated and accepted.

Fostering understanding and respect

One of my hopes is that people will strive to understand and respect others, even if they don’t fully grasp what someone else is going through.

I get that not everyone will understand what it’s like to be part of the LGBTQAI+ community, and that’s okay. But instead of being negative or hurtful, I would love to see more people either make an effort to understand or respectfully step aside if they can’t support someone. This approach helps in creating a more respectful and inclusive environment for everyone.

Increasing visibility and representation

“Go at your own pace—whether you’re newly out, struggling, or have been living authentically for a while. Everyone’s journey is different, and that’s okay.”

Another important aspect is increasing the visibility and representation of LGBTQAI+ communities, especially in smaller towns.

There’s a real need for more local pride events and representation. I believe that the more people see and hear about every LGBTQAI+ person’s journey, the more normalised it will become.

It’s not just about having events in big cities but also bringing visibility to smaller communities. It helps everyone feel included and accepted.

Committing to help others

When I started sharing content on TikTok, I never imagined it would lead to this opportunity to talk and offer advice.

I made a promise to myself that if I ever had the chance to help others, I would take it. This platform has given me the chance to do just that. I’m grateful for every opportunity to share my story and offer support. It’s one of the most fulfilling parts of my journey.

Embrace your authentic self

“Build a circle of people who lift you up and accept you for who you are. Having supportive friends and family makes all the difference.”

Navigating your identity can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. The lessons I’ve learned—about seeking supportive relationships, moving at your own pace, and fostering understanding—have been crucial in my own journey.

I hope my story offers some comfort and guidance. Remember, you’re not alone, and there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Embrace who you are, seek out supportive spaces, and know that you’re deserving of respect and love.

Photos by Niamh Barry.

LGBTQIA+_______: Intersections of Identity

Join us in celebrating the beauty of diverse identities through the lens of Niamh Barry. Meet Shane (he/him), Bel (she/they) and Hunter (he/they) as they share their amazing stories.

Intersectional identities mean recognising how different parts of a person’s identity, like gender, sexuality, and culture, combine to shape their unique experiences.

Check out the series and be inspired by the unique experiences within our community.

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