What to do if you are the bully

It is normal in life to have times when you feel angry or upset, but taking out our frustrations on other people is never the answer and won’t help in identifying why we are angry or how to address the problem.

There are various different types of bullying. If you recognise that you are bullying someone, you can change your ways and behaviours. Although it might be hard at first to stop bullying, know that it will be well worth it to put an end to you bullying others.

Steps to take to stop bullying others

First try to understand why you bully others

Try and take a deep look into why you are bullying others.  Do you bully others because it makes you feel better about yourself?  Or maybe you bully others because you are unhappy or angry, or you yourself have been bullied before?

Whatever the reason is, try and understand how that reason connects to why you feel the need to bully currently.

Try and put yourself in their shoes

After thinking about why reasons why you might be bullying, it might be a good idea to put yourself in the person you are bullying’s shoes.

Try and realise how the things that you are doing to them are affecting them, and think about how you would feel if those things were done to you.

Also remember that you never know what a person is going through, so you bullying them might be adding to the hurt that they are already experiencing from something else.

Seek guidance and counselling from an adult

Take the time to talk to a parent, teacher, school counselor or trusted adult about all that is going on.

Adults can provide you advice and guidance on how to stop bullying and on how to make the situation better.

It’s also a good idea to talk to an adult because they can keep you in check and so that you can talk to them about things that are bothering you and causing you to want to bully others.

Note that if you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to be sure to check out these organisations: ChildLine, TeenLine Ireland, Samaritans – they offer instant messaging chat services, helplines and text-based support as well.

Apologise to the person you’ve been bullying

This is probably the most important thing to do out of everything. Be sure to sincerely apologise to the person that you have been bullying.

Try and allow a generous amount of time and be sure to do the apology in a private place, so that you can talk to each other about how you are genuinely feeling.

The person still may not be trusting of you even after you apologise and that is okay. It may take some time before the person you have been bullying is ready to accept your apology.

Feeling overwhelmed and want to talk to someone?

• Get anonymous support 24/7 with our text message support service
• Connect with a trained volunteer who will listen to you, and help you to move forward feeling better
• Free-text SPUNOUT to 50808 to begin
• Find out more about our text message support service

If you are a customer of the 48 or An Post network or cannot get through using the ‘50808’ short code please text HELLO to 086 1800 280 (standard message rates may apply). Some smaller networks do not support short codes like ‘50808’.