"No matter the situation, just please talk to someone"
Danielle spoke to a friend when things became too much
This is an opinion of a young person and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of SpunOut.ie. It is one person's experience and may be different for you. If you'd like to write something for SpunOut.ie please contact email@example.com.
"My biggest advice to anyone is no matter the situation, please talk to someone. It really lifts a weight off your shoulder."
It is coming up to a year now of when my life got turned upside down, everything changed in a matter of minutes. My parent’s relationship was falling apart and they decided to separate, this hurt my father a lot and he had to move into his brother’s house the week of my 16th birthday.
I’ve known since a young age that my parents weren’t the happiest they could be. So I was okay with this split hoping it would make them happy because it was what they wanted. Instead it drove my father to breaking point, and I made my mam go to our GP to get him seen to, and in the end he was referred for emergency counselling.
As the youngest in the house a lot doesn’t get said to me about what is going on, so I don’t think I will ever know what the true back story to my father’s depression was. But I do know it affected my family and I in ways I never even thought imaginable. Having all this happen within two weeks of my birthday was hard, as it is usually a time when all my family are together and celebrate a great day but last year was different. It was so hard not to cry as my dad came down for 20 minutes and left again because it hurt him too much to be there.
On top of this I was being bullied by two people I thought were my friends, everyday it was the same little comments about not being good enough and not looking well or being moody. One comment stuck in my head the most “Why do you look so moody when you have the perfect life, perfect grades, perfect family and perfect everything” this comment hurt like a knife because to these people my family was perfect. Little did they know that behind closed doors my nights were spent crying wondering how my family fell apart so quickly.
Picking up the courage to tell someone
I didn’t want to tell any of my best friends how I was feeling because they know my father as being the happy man he always pretended to be when they were around and I was scared they would just say it’s only a phase and to get over it.
In the end, I ended up telling a friend because one of the bullies told me to “go back to your happy family and stop trying to be cool” I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I hit breaking point, I had no way to get to my friend’s house so I locked myself in my room and texted her. I was so scared about how she would react or would she even listen to me but it was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
My friend rang me the second I texted her and we spent hours on the phone talking and crying. She let me talk and rant without saying a word but just listening to me. It really made everything in my head more clear as I said it out loud and got it out of my system. She gave me as much advice as she could but the biggest help was her just telling me she will always be here for me whenever I need to talk and no matter what time of day or night.
Being able to have her there for me whenever I was having a really bad day after that was the best thing ever, we’ve been friends 10 years now, I was scared that was going to make her leave me as it would be too much drama. Lifelong friends really are amazing, and a year later I still have my bad days but she is always there, it really truly was the best thing I ever did, talking to her.
My family life has changed and progressed a lot in the past year and is by no means sorted but having my friend there for me really made it easier to cope with and live with. My biggest advice to anyone no matter the situation, is to please talk to someone, it really lifts a weight off your shoulder.