Why changing college courses was the best decision for me

This time last year I had just graduated secondary school, my Leaving Cert was fast approaching, and my entire future seemed right ahead of me. Those exams flew by, and despite what felt like an eternity our college offers were out by the end of the summer.

That was it, the culmination of six years of work, with one goal in mind, and just like that, one chapter ended, and another began. ‘College Chapter’. Supposedly the most exciting one yet.

I was hopeful for this chapter, I thought it could be all that it was supposed to be, and I thought I would be able to make it my best year yet.

Balancing a long commute and academic success

I started attending UCD in September of 2023, studying Law with Politics. This meant a lovely near-two-hour commute each way from Kildare where I live. I made good friends and I did well in my exams.

Despite the early rising and late arrivals, I managed the commute, and on the surface, I had college life under control.

Even with this success on the surface, I had a consistent sense of waiting. Waiting for the course to be what I had hoped for.

I understood that in any subject, any course, any profession, there are parts of it you love and also mind-numbingly boring parts. However, I do believe the balance should lean towards the parts you love, but I found myself dreading lectures more often than not. Yet, still, I put the head down, as I thought four years of boring content would be worth it to get to the career I had in mind.

For the better part of a year, I had in my mind that I wanted to be a barrister. I wanted to help people, and I thought that position would best suit my skills.

I often found myself thinking of that light at the end of the tunnel throughout every boring 9am lecture. My course, and in turn, my whole college experience became a means to an end, I thought it would all be worth it once I was training to become a barrister.

Realising the reality of becoming a barrister

As the year progressed, and I began my second trimester, we began to learn more about the different career paths that were available to us. This is when my end goal became less of a light at the end of the tunnel, and more a fairytale. A fairytale which I had created in my mind through a lack of research.

My idea of what a barrister was, and the jobs that they did, began to crumble before me. I felt like every day of college, every two-hour lecture, every tutorial, was pointless.

I didn’t have a purpose any longer, and I felt like I had a miserable four years ahead of me. I knew I couldn’t sit through that; I couldn’t go to college every day hating the course, and hating the career path ahead of me. In the previous six months, I had a strong will, but it wouldn’t have been able to withstand three more years, I knew something had to change.

I felt like a failure. Like I couldn’t handle college, like I was going to be a disappointment.

After I got my Leaving Cert results, I emailed my teachers, and a response I got from my English teacher kept on returning to my mind throughout this period of doubt. “You will go far”, and here I was, in my mind, having fallen short.

I felt like I was a waste of potential, a smart kid who was too ambitious, an Icarus who flew too close to the sun.

Those were the thoughts I had to overcome to make the decision which was best for my future.

Change college courses to follow my true passion

After some soul-searching and conversations with my family, changing courses, and in turn, changing colleges was the next step.

I changed from law with politics at UCD, to law and English in Maynooth. I’m also planning to do a Professional Master of Education (PME) to qualify as an English teacher at secondary level.

I think deep down that career was always my dream job, I just had to allow myself to realise that dream.

Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t transfer into Year 2 of that course, rather  I have to start from first year again although I will be exempt from certain modules. I had already made my mind up before speaking to the Maynooth admin team, and despite not being able to move into second year, and despite the fact repeating first year leads to losing certain government grants, I will always be grateful for how supportive they were in the process.

My decision was made, and at that precise moment, I felt immense relief, like an unbearable weight was taken off my shoulders like I had my life back.

The CAO application had been completed, the transfers department had been notified, and friends and family had been told. The last and most important thing to do was to change my mindset regarding the change.

Redefining college success on my own terms

Thankfully, through telling people, and the empathy and kindness they showed me, my mindset was easily changed. I finally began to be empathetic towards myself.

I realised I hadn’t failed; I chose to prioritise my happiness and my well-being instead of being stuck in a career for which I no longer had a passion. That is not a failure, it’s a victory, a profound one at that.

From then on, I knew I couldn’t disappoint anyone who truly cared for me When they looked at me, they didn’t see what I saw; a college drop-out, a failure, a waste, or a disappointment, they saw someone who took steps to change his future, pursue a subject that he loves, and someone who wasn’t afraid to make a tough decision, the decision to leave.

I don’t regret a single thing over the past year. I feel like I needed this experience to bring reassurance over what I was destined to do.

When all is said and done, I’ll only remember the good stuff. I won’t remember how tired I felt on the two-hour bus or the time I spent counting down the minutes until the day was done.

I will remember the time I spent with my friends, the overly expensive breakfasts with my girlfriend, and the days when the sun made the usually grey campus feel like it flourished with life, and all felt right. It was these moments which made my decision so hard, but I’m glad it was a hard decision, it meant I built relationships which made the last year worth my while.

Why changing college course is a brave decision

Choosing your college course doesn’t have to be a death sentence, it doesn’t have to decide your future entirely if you don’t want it to. Ultimately our futures are in our own hands, it is just up to us to realise that.

For me, a lifetime being tied to a career I hate, constantly pondering the what-ifs and the potential of what might have been, has been avoided. I put my pride to the side, and made the right choice, regardless of how hard it was.

It takes courage and bravery to know what’s right, and changing college courses isn’t something that should be associated with failure or weakness. It’s one of the bravest things I have done It’s something I’m immensely proud of myself for doing.

My ‘College Chapter’ didn’t have the smoothest beginning, it might not be the greatest read, but it is not finished yet.I still have a lot more pages to write, and I’m looking forward to picking up my pen again.

Leaving college can be a difficult decision to make, read spunout’s guide to consider all your options.

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