Heartbreak and healing: How I moved on from my first love

Growing up in a small town has its perks and challenges. Falling in love means seeing your partner often, but breaking up means running into them everywhere. I know this well.

Young love and first heartbreak

In 2018, I had my first boyfriend. We were in the same class throughout primary school. He was quiet, and I was the opposite. After two months, I noticed he paid more attention to our mutual friend than to me. We broke up, and I moved on.

Fast forward to secondary school. Niall and I shared a few classes, but I barely noticed him for three years—he was that quiet. He had grown his hair out during lockdown, it was so long people called him ‘blonde Jesus.’

In March 2022, at fifteen, I saw him walking up a hill with a fresh haircut. I was so shocked that I dropped my drink. Later, I asked my friends if they’d noticed his new haircut, and they had. After some encouragement from a mutual friend, I nervously added him on Snapchat. To my surprise, he accepted.

We talked for a couple of weeks until he invited me out to hang with him and his friends at the end of April. The anxiety ate me up inside the day I went out to them, but I powered through. At the start of May, he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes.

When love turns into heartbreak

At first, our relationship was very light-hearted. But then he started to change. His friends also saw his personality becoming darker, so I didn’t feel like I was going crazy, thinking it was just me.

By October, he had started hanging out with another crowd- and he lied about it. I found out about it when I was talking to our mutual friend while I was in school. I confronted him, and he only admitted the truth because he got caught.

The next month was torture for me. He kept lying about where he was and who he was with. He hid his actions from his family as much as from me. I couldn’t take the gaslighting and emotional rollercoaster anymore. A few days before Christmas, I ended it. A partner should not make your mental well-being worse.

The struggle of seeing an ex every day

Getting over him took longer than I ever expected. In April 2023, I started to go to therapy. I was still upset because I had to see him five days a week. After all, we were in the same school year. I needed therapy to help me manage the stress of that situation. Therapy helped me after such a tormenting relationship.

Healing was slow, but my biggest relief came at graduation in 2024. The moment I realised I’d never have to see him again felt like pure freedom. I  practically sprinted out of that school, eager to leave behind every painful memory, especially him.. I avoided him at the debs, but I still managed to have fun with his friends, who thankfully all still liked me.

I did learn a hard truth: they were his friends, not mine. And that’s okay. It’s a lesson I won’t forget in future relationships.

With time and distance, I finally healed.

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