Dealing with difficult emotions

When dealing with difficult emotions, sometimes our natural reaction is to try and shut them down or block them out. Many people do this because the fear of feeling those emotions is so strong. They may be afraid that they will ‘feel too much’ or that they won’t be able to control the intensity of the emotion. For example they will get so angry that they fear they will ‘burst’ or that if they start crying they won’t be able to stop.

In reality, allowing yourself to feel those emotions is the first step towards healing from them. You don’t have to go on this journey alone – open up to a friend or a support service about how you’ve been feeling.

How to deal with difficult emotions

Here are some things you can try to help you overcome difficult emotions and move forward feeling better:

Be aware of your emotions

Try to tune in to how you are feeling. Start by noticing what you are experiencing without any judgement. Ask yourself if you are experiencing feelings like anger, happiness, sadness, fear, shame etc. Once you work out what you might be feeling, acknowledge that the feelings are there without trying to change them. This can take practice if you aren’t used to it.

Accept your emotions

If you’re feeling sad, upset or angry, try accept the feelings without questioning why, or attempting to shut them down. This is a much healthier alternative to trying to block them out. Accepting your feelings is a really important step in understanding and managing them, no matter what they are. This can take time and a lot of practice, so try not to get discouraged if acceptance does not come right away.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

Feelings can sometimes be painful and one natural reaction may be to try to avoid feeling them. But avoiding your emotions isn’t helpful and can actually lead to feeling stuck. Working through your feelings is a much more beneficial response in the long run. Many people worry that if they let themselves feel their emotions, they’ll become overwhelmed. But avoiding your emotions out of fear can, in fact, reinforce the fear. When you feel strong emotions, try not to ignore them. Instead, allow yourself to feel them, reminding yourself that they won’t last forever and that it’s okay to sit with whatever feelings naturally arise.

Be mindful and focus on the present

When we focus on the present, we are less likely to panic about the future or worry about the past. It can be difficult to sit with our emotions and recognise them for what they are. However, if you give yourself the space to try, learning to recognise and tolerate your emotions can really be a powerful way of managing them. You can learn more about how to stay present by reading our factsheet on mindfulness.

Talk to someone about how you are feeling

It can really help to take a lot off your mind if you confide in someone about how you are feeling. Let them know that things have been difficult and that you have a lot on your mind. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to them face-to-face, try communicating via phone or text message. You can find guidance on how to approach these conversations in our factsheet on how to open up to someone about your mental health.

Seek professional help

Reaching out to a professional can help you find the support you need. Consider talking to your GP about your mental health and ask about counselling services in your area.

Jigsaw is a free counselling service for young people aged 12-25 years of age, and has centres around the country.

Turn2Me.ie offer free online counselling to young people age 12-17 and to adults over 18. They also offer online support groups for young people and adults. Find out more about Turn2Me.ie.

Traveller Counselling Service

If you are a young Traveller and would like to speak to a counsellor who specifically works with the Travelling Community, the Traveller Counselling Service can support you. The service works from a culturally inclusive framework which respects Traveller culture, identity, values and norms. They provide Traveller culture centred counselling and psychotherapy. They are a Dublin based service but offer counselling both in person and online.

• Landline: 01 868 5761
• Mobile: 086 308 1476
• Email: [email protected]

Feeling overwhelmed and want to talk to someone?

• Get anonymous support 24/7 with our text message support service
• Connect with a trained volunteer who will listen to you, and help you to move forward feeling better
• Free-text SPUNOUT to 50808 to begin
• Find out more about our text message support service

If you are a customer of the 48 or An Post network or cannot get through using the ‘50808’ short code please text HELLO to 086 1800 280 (standard message rates may apply). Some smaller networks do not support short codes like ‘50808’.