How to cope with Autistic burnout and life stress

Being Autistic in a world that does not always accommodate differences can be stressful and overwhelming at times. In this factsheet, you will find information on how to manage and prevent Autistic burnout. You will also find guidance on how to cope with daily life stress through effective coping strategies.

If you would like suggestions on how to cope with negative stereotypes and Autism stigma, check out our article on how to cope with Autism stigma.

Dealing with Autistic burnout

Autistic burnout is different from typical workplace burnout and is not the same as clinical depression. Workplace burnout usually involves feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, becoming cynical, and feeling unable to achieve your goals.

Autistic burnout, however, is a long-term state of physical and emotional exhaustion that lasts longer than three months. It can cause a loss of function, such as difficulties with self-care, managing emotions, and handling everyday tasks, along with a reduced tolerance for sensory overload.

Autistic burnout happens due to chronic stress and a lack of the specific support needed to relieve this stress. It occurs when the external demands or expectations placed on an autistic person exceed their ability to cope.

Sources of this chronic stress include:

• Constantly masking or hiding autistic traits to appear neurotypical (not autistic)
• Trying to meet unrealistic expectations from society, family, work, or school
• Managing the challenges of a disability, like self-advocacy and navigating health services
• Dealing with life transitions and changes

Barriers to support for autistic burnout

There are many barriers that prevent autistic people from accessing the support they need to relieve chronic stress. These include:

• Having their concerns dismissed or disbelieved by others
• Difficulties in setting boundaries and self-advocating
• Lack of external resources and Autism-specific services (e.g., absence of reasonable accommodations at work or school)
• Not taking breaks or incorporating enough leisure time

Autistic burnout can lead to a loss of work, school, and health, severely impacting quality of life. One study suggests that autistic burnout can increase suicidal thoughts among autistic adults. Experiencing Autistic burnout can be isolating and distressing, but there are ways to recover from it and reduce the likelihood of experiencing it.

Strategies for recovery from autistic burnout

Here are some recovery strategies to consider:

• Accept your Autistic identity: Work on accepting or embracing your Autistic identity rather than trying to suppress aspects of who you are
• Unmasking: Do things in a way that allows your Autistic traits to show, rather than hiding them. If you want to explore unmasking, it may be best to do so in a supportive environment where you feel safe and won’t face negative consequences for being true to your Autistic self
• Recharge after social interactions: Allowing yourself time to recover and recharge after social activities
• Pace yourself: Use “spoon theory” or pacing strategies to limit time spent in situations where you feel the need to mask
• Spend time with neurodivergent people: Connect with other Autistic or neurodivergent individuals where you feel little to no pressure to mask
• Seek a professional diagnosis: If you don’t already have one, and if it’s accessible for you, getting a formal diagnosis can help you access specific services and support
• Reach out for emotional support: Speak with a counsellor or a trusted loved one about the mental health impact of masking
• Explore your true self: Investigate who you are behind the mask, including your core values, real interests, likes and dislikes

Factors to consider when thinking about ‘unmasking’

While research shows a link between masking Autism and mental distress, it’s important to acknowledge that “unmasking” can also present some challenges. Some Autistic people, especially those diagnosed as adults, have been masking for so long that they might not even realise they are suppressing their natural impulses or Autistic traits. This can lead to a loss of their sense of self, as they struggle to know who they truly are beneath the mask.

Unmasking, or revealing one’s autistic traits, may not feel right for everyone. Some may choose to unmask only to a certain extent, showing some autistic behaviours while hiding others, or they may fully unmask only in specific social contexts where they feel comfortable. To understand the challenges of unmasking, it’s important to recognise both the positive and negative effects of masking. Some of the benefits of masking reported by some Autistic people include:

• Increased safety or protection from stigma, discrimination, or harassment
• Ability to maintain friendships
• A sense of belonging and acceptance in certain situations

Because of these positive effects, many autistic individuals can grapple with the decision to mask or unmask. Masking can harm your long-term physical and mental health. However, balancing these effects is a complex process that varies for each individual.

For more information on autistic burnout, visit the website of the National Autistic Society.

Managing daily life stress

Autistic people often face challenges with communication and social interaction, making daily life harder. Managing these stresses involves finding ways to cope with differences that aren’t always accommodated.

Making time for leisure activities

Outside of work and education, leisure activities and regular breaks can help you to stay motivated. They can also reduce the risk of autistic burnout, and manage sensory overload. Sensory overload happens when your brain is receiving more input from your five senses—sight, smell, sound, taste and touch—than it can comfortably process. This can lead to feelings of overwhelm.

Incorporating hobbies and relaxation exercises into your routine can make you more resilient to daily setbacks and stress. Read more about relaxation exercises and mindfulness techniques. Taking time for leisure activities and breaks can also have the added benefit of connecting you with people who share your passions and interests, whether online or offline. Research shows that social support helps protect against mental health difficulties in Autistic adults. 

According to one recent study, in which thirteen Autistic adults were asked about how they cope with distressing emotions and overwhelm, soothing and enjoyable activities can include:

• Listening to music
• Playing video games
• Taking a bath
• Reading
• Writing
• Watching a TV show

A separate study found that allowing yourself to spend time on your special interests can also bring a sense of meaning and enjoyment to daily life. Special interests are subjects or areas of knowledge that you feel intensely drawn to learning about, engaging in, or sharing with others.

Using technology to accomplish daily tasks

According to research, some Autistic people find the regular use of technology helps them in two main areas of their daily lives: socialising and keeping track of tasks. Making and maintaining friendships can be challenging when you are Autistic. Yet, evidence suggests that having a solid support network helps support your wellbeing. You might find that social media and online groups can make socialising easier at times.

As well as making socialising easier for some, technology in the form of checklist apps and alarms can also help Autistic people who experience executive functioning differences. Executive functioning difficulties include having trouble remembering, starting and completing tasks, and switching between tasks, just to name a few.

Socialising and tackling tasks are areas where technology has obvious advantages. However, Autistic people can benefit from technology in multiple different ways, such as ordering items online to minimise sensory overload.

Processing past trauma

Research has found that childhood traumatic events, known as “adverse childhood experiences” (ACEs), are common among Autistic adults. Processing past trauma with a trauma-informed mental health professional, such as a psychotherapist, can help build resilience. It may also help you avoid reaching a “tipping point” when dealing with daily life stresses. The tipping point is the point at which some seemingly minor event or change causes you to feel as if you can no longer continue coping.

Find more resources and information on supporting yourself or an Autistic loved one on the As I Am website.

To learn more about autism, check out our factsheets on common Autistic traits, how to get assessed for Autism as an adult and how to get your child assessed for Autism.

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