How to improve your self-esteem

Your self-esteem contributes significantly to your overall emotional, psychological, and physical health. Research shows that your self-esteem can predict your success and well-being in key areas like work, education, relationships, and health. This makes it important to reflect on and try to improve your self-esteem if you feel it’s low or could be improved.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how you evaluate your own worth as a person. It’s a subjective (personal) judgement, based on how you see yourself rather than on what others think or on facts about your achievements, strengths, or weaknesses.

When you have low self-esteem, you might feel like you’re not “good enough.” On the other hand, people with high self-esteem respect and accept themselves for who they are. It’s important to note that high self-esteem doesn’t mean having an inflated sense of self or being overly confident; it simply means having a healthy level of self-respect and self-acceptance.

What causes low self-esteem?

Just as people vary in features like their height, they vary in their level of self-esteem. Some people have higher levels than others. Several factors can influence a person’s level of self-esteem. These factors can be internal or external, and they often interact in complex ways to shape how a person views their own worth.

Factors affecting self-esteem levels

• Personality traits: People who show greater resilience (i.e., the ability to adapt or bounce back from difficult situations and life challenges) and optimism tend to have higher levels of self-esteem, while traits like perfectionism may contribute to lower self-esteem
• Family environment: Supportive and nurturing family relationships generally promote higher self-esteem, while negative experiences such as criticism, neglect, or abuse can lower self-esteem
• Social influences: Relationships with peers and social support systems play a significant role. Positive interactions and acceptance from friends can boost self-esteem, whereas bullying, rejection, or lack of support can reduce it
• Cultural and societal norms: Cultural values and societal expectations can influence self-esteem. Discrimination, stigma, or societal pressures related to appearance, success, or social status can impact how you feel about yourself
• Problematic social media use: The way you engage with social media and other technologies can affect self-esteem. Seeing idealised images and comparing yourself to others can harm your self-worth. This is especially true when you don’t carefully reflect on whether these images are real or consider the subtle, unconscious effects they may have on you. On the other hand, positive and supportive online interactions, as well as more critical reflection on the effects of problematic social media use, can contribute to a more secure sense of self
• Life stage: Certain life stages can present unique challenges to our levels of self-esteem, such as early adolescence and old age. Self-esteem tends to rise from adolescence through middle adulthood, often peaking between the ages of 50 and 60. It can then decline sharply in old age due to factors such as physical health changes, retirement, or loss of social roles

Changes in self-esteem over time

It’s important to think not just about how much self-esteem you have, but also about how much your self-esteem changes in response to external factors, like stressful events or your level of screen time. If your self-esteem is going up and down a lot based on what’s happening around you, it may mean that your self-worth has become tied to factors that lie outside of your control. While it’s normal for how you view yourself to be affected by what happens in your life, when your views of yourself change too much, your sense of self-esteem may feel rocky or unstable. On the other hand, having self-esteem that remains relatively solid and consistent, no matter what’s going on in your life, leads to an improved sense of overall wellbeing.

What are the negative effects of low self-esteem?

Low self esteem can have a negative impact on a person’s mental and physical health. Below are some of the challenges a person with low self-esteem might encounter:

• Mental health difficulties: Low self-esteem can increase a person’s risk of experiencing anxiety and/or depression
• Poor coping mechanisms: People with low levels of self-esteem are less likely to cope, adapt and respond flexibly to life stresses and difficulties in the way that individuals with high self-esteem do. Individuals with high self-esteem tend to have more coping mechanisms and an ability to move flexibly between them depending on the demands of the situation. By contrast, people with low self-esteem tend to rely on fewer, less effective coping mechanisms
• Difficulties practising self-care: People with low self-esteem may find that they are less motivated to care for their physical wellbeing through exercise, eating well, getting sufficient sleep, and reducing their consumption of alcohol and other substances
• Relationship challenges: Low self-esteem can lead to difficulties in forming and maintaining supportive relationships. Individuals may fear rejection, struggle to assert their needs or set boundaries, or avoid socialising regularly, which can result in social isolation or becoming overly dependent on people who do not treat them well
• Lower levels of resilience: Good self-esteem leads to increased feelings of safety and security and may protect against anxiety in certain contexts. Therefore, individuals with lower levels of self-esteem may show less resilience in the face of life stressors and challenges.

How to improve your self-esteem

Learning to improve your self-esteem can be challenging, especially when your self-esteem has become tied to external factors, like achievements. However, beginning to view yourself as a person of value is possible with time and effort.

Self-esteem improvement strategies

If you are experiencing low self-esteem, here are some ways in which you might improve your relationship with yourself:

• Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Self-compassion can help reduce self-criticism and foster a more stable sense of self-worth
• Challenge negative thoughts: Identify and question negative self-beliefs. Many of these negative self-judgements may not be grounded in reality. For more information on how to develop a more balanced, less negative view of yourself and situations, read our factsheet on changing your biased thought patterns
• Set realistic goals: Establish achievable goals and celebrate small successes. You may find it helpful to use the SMART goals template, which describes manageable goals as specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. This can build a sense of accomplishment and reinforce a positive self-image
• Invest in supportive relationships: Try to build positive connections with people who have a kind view of themselves and others. Strong, healthy relationships can provide encouragement and reduce feelings of inadequacy
• Focus on your strengths: Identify and cultivate your personal strengths and skills. Emphasising what you do well can help improve your confidence and sense of self-worth
• Practise mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, while not a cure-all, can help you stay grounded in the present moment and develop curiosity about your thoughts and feelings, rather than becoming overly identified with them
• Prioritise self-care: Care for your emotional and physical wellbeing by moving your body, going outside or spending time in nature, developing a good sleep routine, and eating nutritious foods can increase your mood and energy levels, while reducing feelings of stress. When your body feels good, it can positively impact your mental state, contributing to your overall levels of confidence

Reaching out for support

While the strategies listed above can help improve your sense of self-worth, it is best to seek professional support if you’re experiencing extremely low self-esteem or are unsure how to start improving your self-esteem on your own. Talking to a qualified counsellor or psychotherapist can help you identify the root causes of your low self-esteem and develop personalised strategies to rebuild it based on your unique life experiences and circumstances. For more information on mental health services and therapy options, check out our factsheets on starting your mental health journey and accessing private counselling or psychotherapy.

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