What is sextortion?

Sextortion is a form of sexual exploitation where someone uses threats, blackmail or an abuse of power to pressure another person into doing something against their wishes. This can include demanding money, intimate images or videos, or sexual activity. The perpetrator could be someone the person trusts, such as a friend, acquaintance, a partner or ex-partner, or a stranger.

Experiencing sextortion can be frightening and overwhelming. You might feel embarrassed, scared, angry or unsure about who to turn to. You may worry about what could happen if the person follows through on their threats, or feel pressured to do whatever they ask to make the situation stop.

If this is happening to you, it is important to know that you are not alone and you are not to blame. Regardless of how the situation began, the responsibility always lies with the person making the threats or exploiting their position of power.

Speaking to someone you trust about what is happening can help. Whether it is a friend, family member, teacher, guidance counsellor or support service, having someone by your side can make a difficult situation feel more manageable, help you understand your options and decide what to do next.

What are the types of sextortion?

1. Abuse of power for sexual favours

This happens when someone uses their position of authority or control over something another person needs, to pressure them into sexual activity. Examples include:

• A landlord offers rent in exchange for sexual activity  or alternatively threatens a tenant with eviction if they refuse
• An employer threatens a person’s job or promotion unless they agree to sexual activity
• A government official demands sex before approving a permit or service

In these cases, the person is using their power to pressure or coerce someone into sexual activity.

2. Blackmail using sexual images or information

This happens when someone threatens to share private sexual photos, videos, or information unless the person does what they want.

Examples include:

• A scammer tricks a person into sharing intimate images and then demands payment by threatening to post them online
• Someone threatens to reveal a person’s sexual identity or private sexual information unless they comply with demands
• An ex-partner threatens to share intimate images from during that relationship

This is a form of blackmail. In both cases, the person may demand:

• Money
• More intimate photos or videos
• Sexual acts in person or over video call
• Access to your social media accounts
• Personal information
• Something else they can use to control or manipulate you

Signs that someone may be trying to sextort you

While sextortion can happen in different ways some behaviours that may be cause for concern include someone:

• Wants to move conversations to a private platform quickly
• Pressures you to send intimate images
• Refuses to video call or always has excuses for why they cannot
• Has very few followers or recently created accounts
• Becomes overly affectionate very quickly
• Tries to isolate you from friends or family
• Threatens you after receiving photos or personal information

Even if someone shows some of these signs, it does not automatically mean they are attempting sextortion. However, it is important to trust your instincts and be cautious if something feels wrong.

Why are so many young people being targeted?

Young people spend a lot of time online connecting with friends, meeting new people, gaming, studying and using social media. While these spaces can be positive and enjoyable, they can also be used by people looking to exploit others.

People who engage in sextortion may exploit concerns about embarrassment, judgement or the consequences of intimate content being shared. These fears can make it difficult to ask for help, particularly where the person is worried about how friends, family or others might react.

Some people create fake social media profiles using stolen photos to appear trustworthy. Others may pretend to be a young person interested in a friendship or romantic relationship.

Sextortion can happen on:

• Social media platforms
• Messaging apps
• Dating apps
• Online games
• Video chat platforms
• Employment settings
• Accommodation arrangements
• School or University
• Any space where people communicate

Advances in technology have also created new risks. In some cases, people use edited images, deepfakes or AI-generated content to threaten the person experiencing sextortion, even when no intimate photos were ever shared.

Young people may also experience sextortion involving someone who has authority over an important part of their lives. Where a person controls access to housing, education, employment or other opportunities, that power imbalance can be exploited to pressure or coerce them. Fear of retaliation or losing access to something important may make it particularly difficult to challenge the behaviour or seek support.

Common misunderstandings about sextortion

Misunderstandings about sextortion can make it harder for people to recognise what is happening or feel comfortable seeking support. Sextortion can happen to anyone regardless of their gender, age, background or identity.

If I pay them, will they stop?

Unfortunately, paying money often does not end the abuse. In many cases, the person simply asks for more money or makes new demands.

Will I get in trouble if I tell someone?

Many people worry about being judged, blamed or getting into trouble, particularly if they shared an intimate image. These concerns can make it difficult to tell someone. You deserve support and protection, regardless of how the situation began. In reality, trusted adults, support services and law enforcement agencies are there to help protect you.

Is it my fault if I shared an intimate image?

No. Choosing to share an intimate image with someone does not mean consenting to that image being shared with others or used to threaten or control you. Even if you willingly sent an image, you are not responsible for another person’s decision to exploit your trust.

Can sextortion happen if I haven’t shared any intimate images?

Yes. Someone may use edited or AI-generated images to threaten or blackmail you. The threats and manipulation are still serious even if the images are not genuine.

What should I do if someone is sextorting me?

If someone is threatening you, there are steps you can take to protect yourself and seek support.

• Stop communicating with the person
• Avoid sending any more images, videos or money
• Take screenshots of messages, usernames and threats as evidence
• Block the account where possible
• You may want to deactivate your account. If you prefer not to, take a step back from them for a while
• Report the person/account to the platform, school, college, or workplace where this is occurring
• Tell a trusted adult, friend or family member what is happening
• Contact the Gardaí to report what has happened and get help on what to do next
• Report what has happened to Hotline.ie which provides a way to report suspected illegal online content
• Contact Coimisiún na Meán, which is Ireland’s media commission responsible for enforcing online safety regulations across the country. It is not an emergency response or individual crisis support service
• Reach out to a support service for emotional support such as Dublin Rape Crisis Centre’s National 24-hour helpline, Women’s Aid’s National Helpline, or the ISPCC if you are under 18.

It can be tempting to handle the situation alone, especially if you feel embarrassed. However, sextortion often becomes easier to manage when you have support from people you trust.

What does the law say in Ireland?

In Ireland, sharing or threatening to share intimate images without a person’s consent is a criminal offence. The Harassment, Harmful Communications and Related Offences Act 2020, commonly known as Coco’s Law, introduced protections against the non-consensual sharing of intimate images. This can include:

• Real intimate photographs or videos
• Edited images
• Images created to resemble a person
• Threats to distribute intimate content

Depending on the circumstances, serious penalties can apply.

What if I am under 18?

Irish laws provide additional protections for children and young people under 18 in relation to sexual exploitation and sexual images. Any sexual image involving a person under the age of 18 may be treated as child sexual abuse material, regardless of how it was created or shared.

If you are under 18 and experiencing sextortion, it is important to speak with a trusted adult as soon as possible so they can help you access support and make reports.

Looking after yourself after sextortion

Experiencing sextortion can affect your mental health and emotional wellbeing. You might experience:

• Anxiety
• Fear
• Shame
• Difficulty sleeping
• Low mood
• Stress
• Feelings of isolation

Everyone responds differently to experiences of sextortion. You may experience some of these feelings, or you may react in other ways. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

It may help to:

•  Speak with someone you trust, sharing only what you feel comfortable discussing
• Take breaks from social media if you need them
• Spend time with supportive friends and family
• Maintain regular routines such as sleep, meals and exercise
• Seek professional support if the experience continues to affect your wellbeing

If someone is threatening, manipulating or blackmailing you online, the blame belongs entirely to them. Support is available, and you can take steps to protect yourself and get help.

Feeling overwhelmed and want to talk to someone?

• Get anonymous support 24/7 with our text message support service
• Connect with a trained volunteer who will listen to you, and help you to move forward feeling better
• Whatsapp us now or free-text SPUNOUT to 50808 to begin.
• Find out more about our text message support service

If you are a customer of the 48 or An Post network or cannot get through using the ‘50808’ short code please text HELLO to 086 1800 280 (standard message rates may apply). Some smaller networks do not support short codes like ‘50808’.