Sexual assault is a frightening experience. It can make someone feel threatened, usually without warning, and could even make them feel like their life is in danger. It is very important to understand that when we are in a frightening and threatening situation, we can’t fully control how we react. Instead, we are much more likely to fall back on automatic responses in the brain: fight, flight, or freeze. Not understanding these natural biological responses can lead to us to blame ourselves unfairly, when really these responses are not our fault.

What is Fight/Flight/Freeze?

Over thousands of years, evolution shaped our brains to help us respond quickly to danger. These responses were developed when humans needed to protect themselves against predators who were hunting them. This is where our survival instincts come from.

These instincts are located in both the oldest part of our brain, called the reptilian/old brain, and the emotional part of our brain, also called the limbic system. We use a different part of the brain (the neocortex) to figure things out logically. The reptilian and emotional parts of the brain work faster than the neocortex when we’re in trouble.

Fear and stress can cause the neocortex to stop working the way it should, or to stop working altogether, and old reflexes take over.

When the brain detects that we are in danger, our survival instincts will kick in, and depending on the situation we will either fight, take flight or we freeze for some time. You’ve probably experienced this already when something has frightened you. Fight or flight are probably easy to understand, but freezing is a little different. Freezing gives our bodies a chance to go into defence mode. It can increase our chance of survival – we are almost ‘playing dead’ in the hope that the threat will go away, but it is not under our conscious control.

This lack of control over your response is also why it can be hard for some people to understand why they reacted the way they did. However, the reaction is an automatic part of a very, very old defence system that evolved in human beings and in many animals a long time ago.

Why do people freeze during an assault?

During a sexual assault, the attacker is seen as a predator, and the brain will go into survival mode to figure out a way to handle the situation. For some people this will mean fighting or running away but for others it will mean freezing and staying frozen until it’s over.

When this happens, your brain effectively shuts down and you might feel unable to speak, act or move. You may begin to disassociate, which means feeling spaced out, like you have left your body and you are watching from far away. You could even pass out or become very sleepy as your heart rate and blood pressure drops. This is your body’s way of ‘playing dead’ to try and make the assault end sooner. Far from something to be ashamed of, it’s the body’s way of trying to protect you.

Remember that this happens automatically – your brain is trying to save your life and it doesn’t have time to think about it.

Why do sexual assault victims forget details about what happened?

When we experience high levels of stress, it is harder to form memories and to process information in an orderly way.

Traumatic situations like sexual assault can cause your brain to focus in on small details, like a smell or a piece of furniture in the room, but everything else going on around you falls away. For example, under normal circumstances you might have noticed voices coming from downstairs or who you saw before and after the assault happened, but because of the brain’s response to trauma, these things often do not register on a conscious level. It might feel like there are pieces missing from your memory about what happened, or it might be difficult to remember what order certain things happened in.

If you can’t remember everything that happened when you were assaulted, this is not your fault. In fact, this is common, and it doesn’t make the experience any less real or painful.

Who to talk to if you have been sexually assaulted

Dealing with sexual assault can be difficult, and it can be hard to come forward and talk about what happened. Remember, it is never your fault. There are Rape Crisis Centres throughout the country where you can find information and support. Help is available whether it was a recent assault or something that happened in the past.

The 24 Hour Helpline 1800 77 8888 offer a confidential listening and support service for women and men who have been raped, sexually assaulted, or sexually abused at any time in their lives.

Although a period is a perfectly natural and healthy function of the human body, many people feel embarrassed or ashamed when talking about the menstrual cycle, and a lot of people prefer not to talk about it at all.

A period is nothing to be embarrassed about, and everyone should feel comfortable discussing it, whether it’s something they experience or not. Not only do feelings of shame affect how a person feels, it could also put their health at risk if they are too embarrassed to speak about their cycle and talk to a doctor if something is wrong.

Why don’t we talk about periods?

Periods are something that happens to most cis women, trans men, or non-binary people with a uterus from the onset of puberty in adolescence, usually until they reach menopause. Historically, subjects that affected women were not talked about, and a lot of the time, women’s bodies were looked at as something to be hidden, covered up, or to feel ashamed about. This was especially true when it came to the reproductive system.

There’s nothing wrong with period blood

Periods can be messy and painful, and even though it’s natural, some people feel embarrassed or even disgusted by period blood. Most advertisements for period products demonstrate how they work by using a clear or blue liquid instead of red, which adds to the feeling that red period blood is something to be ashamed about.

Because of these social and cultural reasons, periods can be a difficult topic for people to discuss.

The stigma of premenstrual syndrome (PMS)

Periods can have an impact on how a person feels both physically and mentally, with many people more likely to experience feelings of anger, sadness, or irritation in the days leading up to their period.

Experiencing mood swings is a symptom of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), caused by a drop in hormone levels right before the period begins. For some people the symptoms are mild, but others might experience serious feelings of depression or anxiety for a few days before they start bleeding.

PMS as a joke

A person experiencing PMS might be described as ‘hormonal’, and PMS has been used as a way to make jokes about people who experience periods on TV shows, in movies, and in popular culture. This makes it hard to talk about the experience of PMS, because many people are worried they’ll be seen as a joke, or that it won’t be taken seriously.

PMS and positions of power

PMS has also been used as a way to argue that people who experience periods are unable to manage their emotions, and that they would be unsuitable to hold positions of power because they might experience mood swings. However, everyone goes through a fluctuation in hormones on a regular basis whether they get a period or not, and when testosterone levels change throughout the day it can also have an impact on emotions and energy levels.

While PMS might make things harder for a few days in the month, it does not mean that a person is any less capable of doing a job than someone who doesn’t have it.

How to end the shame and stigma around periods

In order to break down the stigma, it’s important that everyone understands and talks about periods, regardless of whether it’s something that happens to them or not.

Understand the menstrual cycle

One of the biggest issues is that many people don’t understand what is happening when someone has their period. This is something that is not always taught well at school, and both people who do and do not get a period have misunderstandings around what happens at different stages of the cycle.

Educating people about periods helps to emphasise the fact that the menstrual cycle is a natural, biological process that happens in the body, and it will also help people who have a uterus to understand what’s normal and what could be a sign of a problem.

Find out everything you need to know about your period here.

Talk about periods

Talking about something helps to normalise it. Conversations around periods need to be normalised so that people can be open and honest about what happens when they have their period and how it affects them. People should feel free to ask questions, discuss, and compare symptoms. The more we talk about it, the easier it will be.

These conversations will also help people who don’t experience periods to understand what it’s like for those who do.

Fight period poverty

People all around Ireland and the world are experiencing period poverty. This means that they don’t have access to the period products they need due to  economic, social, or cultural reasons. No person should have to go without the health products they need during their period, and shame and stigma only makes accessing these things harder.

We can help to normalise periods by talking about period poverty and doing what we can to fight it. Learn more about period poverty here.

Period poverty is something that affects people all over the world. Before now, it was seen as a problem that mostly existed in developing countries, but more and more people are beginning to talk about period poverty as a problem that exists even in some of the richest countries, including Ireland.

As more research shows that young people in Ireland are experiencing period poverty, more people want to do something to help.

What is period poverty?

Period poverty means not having access to the products needed during a period, such as pads, tampons, menstrual cups, or pain relievers to help with cramps. This could be because of problems affording these products, or having difficulty accessing them for social or cultural reasons.

As a result, people have to find alternative ways of dealing with their period by using things like tissue paper, socks, and towels. It can also lead to missing out on school, college or work because they don’t have the products they need to handle their period.

Who does period poverty affect?

Anyone could be affected by period poverty at some point in their lives, but in Ireland there are a few groups that are more likely to face these problems than others.

Low income households

One of the main reasons why people are experiencing period poverty is because they can’t afford to buy period products such as pads or tampons. For low-income households, it might be difficult to include these products in the budget, and young people who need them might feel anxious about asking for them because of the cost. Instead, they go without and try to find alternative ways to handle their period

Homelessness

For people experiencing homelessness, access to period products and facilities like a toilet can be limited. Many people rely on donations to homeless charities to get the products they need, and they will have to use public bathrooms or shared facilities in hostels to change their products and clean up.

Direct provision

Some people living in Direct Provision in Ireland have said in the past they had to pay for sanitary products and pain relief to use during their period themselves, using money from their allowance of €21.60 a week. This meant they had to choose between their period and other needs. Many direct provision centres have since said that the Department of Justice have now agreed to provide sanitary products. However, this is still an example of how a person can find themselves in period poverty as a result of their circumstances.

Cultural and social causes of period poverty

Although affordability is one of the main barriers for people in period poverty, there are also cultural and social reasons why people can’t access period products.

Many people who experience periods feel embarrassed talking about it. The idea of having to ask for period products, or even admit to having their period, can make some people feel ashamed. This is because historically, periods have been seen as something dirty that should be kept to yourself, rather than the natural process that they are. This is made even more difficult if a young person has no adult or older sibling in their immediate family who has gone through menstruation and who can guide them through the experience.

Things like premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which can cause some people to feel more emotional the usual right before their period, has been used as a way to make jokes or ridicule people. This prevents people from opening up about their period and talking about how it affects them.

This stigma can make it difficult for people to ask for help when they need it, and those around them who might be able to help may never realise that they need support.

The impact of period poverty

Period poverty can affect people in more ways than you might think. Aside from the inconvenience of not having any sanitary products, it can have an emotional, social, and physical impact.

Feelings of shame or embarrassment

Many people who have experienced period poverty have said they were embarrassed about the fact that they couldn’t access to products they needed. Carrying around these feelings of shame can have a big impact on your mental wellbeing, and make it much harder to reach out for help.

Missing school, college, work, or social activities

A survey in Ireland showed that 61% of school-age girls missed school because of their period. No one should have to miss out on their education because they can’t access period products. If people don’t have the products they need, they lose out on opportunities and can become isolated during the time that their period lasts because they will have to turn down social activities.

Unsuitable alternatives

Many people try to find alternative ways to handle their period, with creating pads out of tissue one of the most common quick-fixes. Other people have said that they use socks or towels to soak up the blood. Not only is this material less effective, it can cause discomfort and irritation. Some of these solutions could also be unsanitary, and therefore unhealthy, for people to use.

Discomfort

A period is already an uncomfortable experience. Without access to pads, tampons, cups, or painkillers, it will be even less comfortable. While there may always be some level of discomfort, everyone who experiences a period deserves the opportunity to make themselves as comfortable as possible while it lasts.

How to help people in period poverty

You don’t need to experience period poverty yourself, or even experience menstruation, to want to help the people who are currently dealing with this issue. There are a number of things you can do to help fight period poverty.

Talk about it

Ending the stigma around periods is one way you can help those who live in period poverty. Normalising conversations about menstruation, period products, and the issue of period poverty itself will make it easier for those who need help to come forward and ask for it. If feelings of shame and embarrassment are a barrier to people accessing products, it will help them to show that they have nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about.

Ask for free period supplies

Ask your school, college, or workplace to provide free period products like pads and tampons in the bathrooms so that those who need them can access them without having to ask. If the bathrooms are not unisex, you could ask for products to also be made available in men’s rooms or in another shared space so that trans men who are still experiencing menstruation can also get the products they need.

Donate products to charities

Homeless charities around the country accept donations of pads, tampons, and menstrual cups to pass on to the people using their services. By making a donation, you can help to ensure that no homeless person goes without the products they need to get through their period. Homeless Period Ireland distribute donations to homeless charities across the country.

Contact your politicians

Get in touch with your local councillors and TDs and ask them to bring forward policies and initiatives to address period poverty in your area and nationwide. This could include providing free sanitary products in public buildings and schools.

Support international charities

While fighting this issue at home, remember that this is also a problem in developing countries where there are even fewer resources available.

Plan International’s Because I Am A Girl campaign provides support to girls across the developing world who have fewer opportunities, face extra barriers, and experience period poverty. One of the programmes they run is Menstrual Hygiene Management Clubs, teaching boys and girls about menstruation, how to use period products, and breaking the stigma. Learn more about their research and work on period poverty here.

“What you are doing for Valentine’s day?” she asked. This may seem like a normal question for most, but I knew it was a loaded one as it came from the mouth of an eco-warrior! I replied, that I wasn’t doing anything special “Probably a night in, dinner and a movie.” She then took my plans and ‘planet proofed’ them which meant she ensured my actions had the lowest impact on the environment and people.

When I started working in the Union of Student in  Ireland, I knew the basics about sustainability and climate change. However, the last few months has made me realise how much of an impact young people can really have. I sat in the Four Courts last month as young people packed the room and watched the government get taken to court over their poor climate action. I read all about the walk outs happening across the world by school children. I was so inspired by Greta Thunberg, I went plastic free and even cut back on my meat consumption. USI’s  work on Fairtrade opened my eyes to the social pillars of sustainability and workers’ rights. This is why I accepted the eco warriors tips with a smile on my face and I want to spread the word so others could ensure they include the planet in their plans too.

So, here are my tops tips to ensure your Bae and Planet are shown love this Valentine’s day:

The Gift

Flowers & chocolate, it’s a classic for a reason. This year swing by Lidi and pick up Fairtrade flowers & chocolates that won’t break the bank. The flowers are 5.99 in Aldi, while chocolate range In Lidi goes from 1 euro to 5 euro.  While your there, you can pick up some Fairtrade wine too. If you don’t have a Lidi, you can try local store for ‘Green & Blacks’ chocolate bars, Maltesers or Ben & Jerrys Ice cream. For a full list of products and location here.

Setting the mood

Dim the lights real low to get the mood right, It also saves on energy bills. Or skip the lights completely and opt for some eco soy candles. They are palm free and made with essential oil which only add to the sensory experience. I get mine from Emma’s So Natural. 

The Meal

Only the best for your love one this year! When choosing ingredients opt for organic or local when you can. Meat can be picked up from your butcher and most chain stores have contracts with local famers so just check the pack to see where the meat is from. That said, keeping it veggie keeps your carbon footprint low and planet happy. Try some of these quick and easy vegetarian recipes.

Remember keeping the lid on pots and cooking in glass speeds up the process and saves energy! Keep that oven door closed too.  

Now that you’re a cooking god, don’t forget to keep your scraps so you can cook another meal tomorrow. Create your own magic or simple google ‘meal ideas for left vers’. You get great value for money and prevent food waste.

Dessert time

Don’t know what to make? There is lots to choose from, like banoffee pie, carrot cake,  banana & chocolate bread, in the Fairtrade cookbook here. Pair it with some Fairtrade tea or coffee to make it complete.

The activity

Don’t turn the heating on if you want to turn things up! The lights are dim, your belly is full, there is a romantic aroma in the air…. time to snuggle up on the sofa under a cosy blanket. Still cold? Skip the heating, grab and extra blanket or jumpers and just move in closer for that body heat.

Bedtime

There is nothing better than a fresh pair of sheets so remember washing at 30 degrees saves energy and keeps those whites white! Don’t forget to turn off all appliances so we know they won’t  be the cause of your restless night

Student Switch Off is a not-for-profit international campaign encouraging student action on climate change. It is funded under Horizon 2020. We run energy-saving competitions within universities in the UK, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Greece, Ireland, Lithuania, and Romania. Follow them on Instagram and snapchat @switchoff.ie. 

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

If you have a friend who is in a toxic relationship, it can sometimes be hard to know what the best course of action is. Here are some tips that can help you be there for your friend.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that can be defined by the actions of one partner causing emotional, physical or psychological damage to the other partner. Some common characteristics of a toxic relationship are:

If you feel like you might be in a toxic relationship, you can read our article, “Am I in a toxic relationship?” for further information on what fully constitutes a toxic relationship.

How do I help a friend in a toxic relationship?

Sometimes, coming out and saying how you feel about your friend’s relationship adds a risk of your own friendship becoming strained and ending. Here are some things you can subtly do to help your friend cope with what they’re going through.

Listen

Let your friend talk and let them know you’re there for them, both now and in the future regardless of their decisions. Do not put pressure on them to drop the relationship. Being aggressive about your friend leaving their partner and providing ultimatums could just push your friend away and they may feel like they cannot talk to you. Let conversations flow and be a good listening ear.

Share unhealthy relationship experiences of your own or ones you have heard of

During conversations where an opportunity arises, confide any personal experiences of toxic relationships you have had or heard of with your friend. Not only might this cause your friend to realise something that they thought was normal in their relationship isn’t, but they will also know you are not judging them for staying in a toxic relationship if they have started to realise it for themselves. Talk subtly about how you made overlooked some forms of abuse and ignored red flags before coming to the realisation that it is not your job to allow them to do that. Stick to your own past and don’t try advise your friend on their relationship.

Be gentle

Rather than outright saying something, bring it up without outright naming it. If you bring up toxic relationships, the chances are your friend may say something to their partner, who will be able to plant a seed in their mind that you may just be jealous or don’t know what you’re talking about.

Use movies, songs, books or any other manner to subtly talk about abuse in the medium. Ask what they think the woman in the movie should do – should she stay with the partner or go? This roundabout talk seems like harmless conversation, but you are encouraging your friend to consider their own situation subconsciously.

Build up their self-image

Some people in toxic relationships start to realise they are, but take time to process it and weigh up varying factors. Consistently tell your friend things that will build up their self-image, giving them the strength they might need to leave their partner. Challenge what their partner has said about them, if they have called them stupid or weak tell them that they are not. This works much better for all involved if you avoid framing the situation in a negative way.

Don’t be judgmental and don’t criticise

If your friend is processing the problem but has yet to do anything about it, listen and do not judge – especially if they are trusting you enough to fill you and talk to you about it. Instead, allow them to talk, vent and get everything out that they want to say and ask questions to learn more about the situation to help them. The last thing you want to do is be controlling and instruct them to do anything, no matter how good your intentions are. Also be cautious about criticising their partner as they may not be ready to hear that.

When you’re asking the difficult questions, let your friend answer them and don’t interrupt or react negatively. Sometimes hearing the problem aloud can trigger them to be inspired to get back on track. Suggest that they look at websites against domestic violence such as Safeireland.ie for support.

Make sure they know you’re always there

Make sure you know they have your support, and that the door is always open, any hour of the night for them to come and stay with you. The second that your friend asks for help, be 100% there. Watching your friend struggle before this happens may be hard, but it’s much better to be patient for a better outcome.

Check in with them

Check in with them about how they’re doing and how things are going. Even if you just send a message every day or two, or meet up with them once a week for a coffee, this continuous communication will show them not only that you’re reliable and always there for them, but that there are support systems around them who care deeply for them.

Be honest

Being honest both works and doesn’t work in certain cases. If your friend specifically asks for your opinion, then tell them the truth rather than what you think they want to hear. Being direct and honest about your thoughts on the situation (when they want them) will make your friend value you you more for caring and looking out for them. Tell them truth about what you’ve seen about their relationship, and give them helpful advice and support, without overstepping boundaries.

If you don’t know what advice to give, that’s okay too. There are several services dedicated to giving a listening ear for those who have suffered an abusive relationship. A list of these services include:

Do you need someone to talk to right now? SpunOut.ie’s text message support service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We provide in-the-moment anonymous support and problem solving when you need it most.

Text SPUNOUT to 086 1800 280 to begin. Standard SMS rates may apply.

“Stop treating being single as the annoying time that you pass between relationships and embrace it. Rather than focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have: You.” – Natalie Lue

In the run-up to Valentine’s day, there is obviously an emphasis on the joys of being in love. However, it’s important to remember there are also so many benefits to being on your own. Recently I have been reflecting on some of the reasons why I love being single. Although you can still experience many of these things while in the right relationship, there are still great advantages that might shift your perception and help you make the most of single life.

My favorite thing about being single is having my full independence both physically and emotionally. A strong relationship requires compromise so now is the time to do what you want. You get to make big decisions solely for your benefit without having to factor in someone else or feel tied down. You can become more aware of the endless possibilities in everyday life and you have more time and freedom to plug into your hobbies and passions. Whether it’s trying something new or returning to something you forgot about while being in a relationship, now is the time to explore your passions and interests.

At this stage in life, we’re forming our identity and learning new things about ourselves and it’s amazing to explore that independently and not have to worry about losing your sense of self in someone else. It’s easy to become complacent while in a relationship, so this is a great opportunity to take risks, socialise freely and try new things.

While in a relationship, you tend to spend the majority of your free time with your significant other. Being single allows you to go out of your comfort zone and meet new people, which is something you might not have been as concerned with before. You also get to prioritize strengthening other relationships in your life that will remind you that there really is no reason to ever feel alone.

Another plus is that being single also allows you to become more comfortable with rejection. Whether you’re actively dating or just taking a chance in another area of life, you’re putting yourself out there more. It might not always go to plan but it sure pays off over time. You’ll learn from this and become a stronger person.

Over time, I have grown to love being single as it has allowed me to truly discover who I am. Of course, you can do this while in a relationship, and I haven’t totally got it all figured out yet, but I seriously value my “me time”. During the time that I’ve been single, I have learned to genuinely enjoy my alone time and have become my own best friend. I am self-assured and my self-esteem is not dependent on another person. I also have the security and confidence in knowing that if I did end up single long term I could get through life just fine.

Being single allows you to look more closely at your life, anything you want to improve on within yourself or work towards. It sounds so cliché, but it is said so much because it’s true. Self-love is so important and in my opinion, it’s the number one thing that you can work on to improve your own happiness. I have used this time to work on myself, to be the best version of me. I’ve done this most importantly for myself, but also for those around me and to make any future relationships healthier.

To sum it up, there are so many reasons why I love being single and why you should too. Being single has allowed me to reflect on how much I adore and love myself and how much I value my independence. It has also given me the liberty to do whatever I want without the need to consult “my other half”. So if you’re wallowing in singleness, or worry that you’ll be single forever, instead be grateful for where you are right now and don’t wish this precious time away.

There’s so much life to be lived and so much more to it than romance. Appreciate all the love in your life in all it’s many other forms. You’ll meet the right person at the right time and date for the right reasons. You attract people when you are loving yourself and living your best life so thrive in your singleness and make memories that you can tell that special someone about later.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

Housing Assistance Payment (HAP) is a type of social housing support that the local authority can give to people who are unable to fully afford their rent. This means that the local authority, which is the city or county council, will pay some or all of a person’s or family’s rent. This payment is for people with long-term housing needs and will eventually replace rent supplement for this group.

What is HAP?

Under this scheme, you can take up full-time employment and still receive housing support. Your rent will be paid by your local authority (your city or county council) directly to your landlord, but you will also have to pay a weekly rent contribution to your local authority. Your rent contribution will be an amount of money and the amount you pay will be based on your income and ability to pay.

Who can apply for HAP?

To be able to apply for Housing Assistance Payment, you must be on your local authority’s housing list. You can only be on the housing list if you qualify for social housing support. If you are currently housed by your local authority, you cannot apply.If you currently receive rent supplement and qualify for social housing support, then you will be transferred to the HAP system on a phased basis.If you would like to find out if you qualify for social housing support, you can contact your local authority directly.

How does HAP work?

If you qualify, you then have to find your own accommodation in the private rented market within the rent limits in your area. This means that you will have to find a house that is privately-owned, to rent, within the area you applied for such as Fingal or South Dublin. A landlord is not allowed to refuse to rent the property to you on the basis that you are applying under this scheme and they cannot refuse to accept HAP payments.

How is my rent paid through HAP?

Your local authority will pay your landlord monthly and you will pay your rent contribution weekly to the local authority. You can pay your rent contribution through the An Post Household Budget Scheme or by bank standing order. If you do not pay your rent contribution, payments to your landlord will be suspended and eventually stopped. You will then be completely responsible for paying the rent yourself.

What are the benefits of HAP?

Rent limits under the HAP

When finding accommodation under the scheme, your rent must be within the rent limits set by the local authority. In certain cases a 35% flexibility may be provided where accommodation can not be found within the rent limits. Your limit will depend on whether you are single, in a couple or with children as well as whether the accommodation is shared and where it is located. You can find the rent limits for your local authority.

What are my rights while renting through this scheme?

Although your rent will be paid by the local authority to your landlord, your tenancy agreement (lease) will be with your landlord directly. Your tenancy will be covered under the terms of the Residential Tenancies Act 2004 (as amended). You can find further information as your rights as a renter on the RTB website.

I am on rent supplement, when can I transfer to HAP?

If you are currently on rent supplement and qualify for social housing support you will be gradually transferred over to HAP. If you apply for the Housing Assistance Payment scheme, your rent supplement payments will stop once your application has been approved. You and your landlord will be written to to explain the process of transferring.

What are the main differences between Rent Supplement and HAP?

One of the main differences between the two is that you can take up full-time employment and still receive HAP but you cannot work any more than 30 hours per week on Rent Supplement. Also, you can’t be in full-time education and still qualify for Rent Supplement, unless you move on to a Back to Education Allowance payment.

What is Homeless HAP?

There is a specific scheme running in Dublin and Cork City for homeless households. The Homeless Housing Assistance Payment scheme gives additional financial and related supports to both tenants and landlords. To qualify for Homeless HAP, your local authority will have to decide that you are homeless, with no alternative accommodation and that you need additional support to find and secure rental accommodation.

Find further information on Homeless Housing Assistance Payment.

Learn more about your rights as a renter by visiting our Accommodation section.

How do I apply for HAP?

In order to be eligible for, you need to be on your local authority’s housing list. If you are not on the list, you will need to apply for local authority/ social housing. If you are already on the housing list, you can ask the local authority for an application form. This form only needs to be filled in when you have found suitable accommodation, or if you are already in private rented accommodation and eligible to transfer to HAP.

Need more information?

We are here to answer your questions and talk through your options. Our online chat service is for 16 to 25 year olds and is available Monday to Friday, 4pm to 8pm. Chat to us now about your situation.

Chat now to a trained Youth Information Officer or leave us a message and we will email you back

Although menstruation is a natural part of life for over half the human population on the planet, it’s a subject that many people still have difficulty discussing. Some people feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it, while others might not fully understand what is happening when someone is on their period.

Find out everything you need to know about your period, including the menstrual cycle, blood flow, pain relief, PMS, period products, and having sex on your period.

What is the menstrual cycle?

Most people with a uterus (or womb) will experience menstruation during their life as part of their monthly cycle. Your cycle begins on the first day of your period and ends on the first day of your next period, when a new cycle begins.

Your menstrual cycle is the process where your body prepares your uterus for a pregnancy. The menstrual cycle begins when the hormones in your body that control fertility, called follicle-stimulating hormones (FSH), cause your ovary to develop little follicles. These follicles contain microscopic eggs. Around two weeks into your cycle, another fertility hormone, called the luteinizing hormone (LH), causes a follicle to release an egg. This is called ovulation. The egg flows down from the ovary into the fallopian tube where it waits to be fertilised. Once the egg has been released, more hormones will be sent from the empty follicle to the womb to tell it to thicken up to prepare for the egg to be fertilised.

If the egg is fertilised

If the egg is fertilised – that is, you have sex and sperm meets your egg – it will travel down from the fallopian tube and into the womb and attach itself to the now thickened womb lining. Once attached, the fertilised egg sends its hormone signals (in the form of estrogen and progesterone) out to keep the womb lining thick and turn off the ovulation process until that pregnancy is finished.

If the egg is not fertilised

If your egg does not get fertilised, the hormones that support the thickened womb lining (mainly progesterone) start to drop and the womb lining begins to come away from the wall of the womb. The tissue, blood and tiny egg flow out of the opening of the womb and through your vagina as the menstrual period.

How long does a period last?

Some people find that the length of their menstrual cycle can change from one month to the next. Sometimes their period might arrive early or late, and it can be hard to predict when their period will come.

The average menstrual cycle lasts around 28 days, but this can be different for everyone. It could vary from 21 days to 40 days. If you’re concerned about your cycle, speak to your doctor.

Irregular periods

If you’re experiencing irregular cycles, it doesn’t necessarily mean that anything is wrong. However, it’s a good idea to speak to your GP about your cycle to rule out any possible conditions that could be causing it, especially if your cycle changed suddenly, your period is lasting longer than 7 days, or if the difference between your shortest cycle and your longest cycle is 20 days or more.

Bleeding too frequently may be a sign of disease such as an STI, growths in the womb or complications of pregnancy. Bleeding too infrequently may be a sign of hormonal imbalance or the loss of egg release that can result from anorexia or bulimia. These all require medical tests and treatment, so speak to your doctor if something doesn’t seem right.

If your period stops or if you miss a period

There are a number of reasons why your period might stop or why it might skip a month entirely.

If there is a chance you could be pregnant, take a test to rule out pregnancy. If you’re not pregnant, some other reasons might include:

If you’re not pregnant and you’ve missed three periods in a row, speak to your doctor.

Bleeding on your period

Depending on the stage of your cycle, your period blood may change in colour. At the beginning and towards the end, you might have brown blood or pink blood, but when your flow is heaviest, it will be red.

How heavy your period is can be different for each person, and might also be different from one period to the next. Some people have a very light flow, with not a lot of blood coming out. Others can have very heavy flows where it feels like a lot of blood comes out. If you’re concerned about your flow, especially if you have very heavy bleeding during your period, speak to your doctor.

Dealing with pain during your period

Period pain is common, but it’s not the same for everyone. Some people experience little to no pain, while others can find period cramps so painful that it’s difficult for them to do anything in the first few days of their period.

The pain is usually caused by the opening of the womb, called the cervix, having to widen and open to allow the tissue and blood out. Period cramps usually begin just before a period starts and continue during the period. You might feel pain in your lower abdomen, your lower back, or even in the thighs.

If you experience severe pain, you may want to speak to your doctor. Sometimes pain can be caused by an underlying medical condition, and your doctor can help you find ways to manage this.

How to get rid of period pain

Most period pain can be treated with over the counter painkillers like paracetamol or ibuprofen. If you have asthma or stomach problems, avoid ibuprofen and choose paracetamol instead.

Your GP might be able to prescribe you something stronger if neither of these works. They might also consider putting you on a form of hormonal contraception such as the pill because this can sometimes help to reduce period pain, or stop the period altogether.

Stress can make period cramps worse, so finding ways to relax can help to avoid severe pain.

Other ways to prevent or reduce cramps include:

Other symptoms

Other symptoms you might experience during your period include:

Can you have sex during your period?

Although the idea of having sex on your period is not for everyone, if both you and your partner are comfortable with it then there’s nothing wrong with that. Some people find that having sex or masturbating while on their period can help to lift their mood and ease cramps.

Make sure to remove tampons or menstrual cups if there’s any penetration. 

Can you get pregnant during your period?

If there is a possibility of pregnancy, make sure to use protection by wearing a condom, because you can still become pregnant even if you are on your period. 

Period blood can carry HIV and STIs, so condoms and dental dams are always a good idea to prevent the spread of STIs.

Dealing with emotions during your period

Throughout the menstrual cycle, the body experiences a change in hormones as the levels rise and fall throughout the month, causing a change in mood in the days before the period is due to arrive.

What is premenstrual syndrome (PMS)?

Many people who get their period will experience PMS in the week before it arrives. Each person experiences PMS differently, with some people feeling mildly agitated, while others could feel very down or emotional.

You might also begin to experience some of the physical symptoms of your period, like bloating and discomfort, during this time.

Symptoms of PMS might include:

If you’re going through a stressful time, the symptoms of PMS can be worse. For some people, PMS symptoms can be more severe, with strong feelings of depression that disappear after the period begins. Talk to your doctor is you’re worried about your PMS symptoms.

Types of period products

When it comes to products to use during your period, there are a few options to choose from, and it’s up to each individual to decide which one they like best.

The best way to know what works for you is to try each one.

Pads

Pads are the most common choice for people when they first begin their period because they’re easy to use. You can choose a pad based on how heavy your flow is, whether or not you want them to have ‘wings’ (flaps that fold around the bottom of your underwear to hold it in place), as well as night-time or day-time pads.

There are a number of brands to choose from and you can find them at most pharmacies, supermarkets, and local stores.

If you like using pads but don’t like how many you have to buy and throw away each month, reusable pads are an option. They are usually made of cloth and fit in your underwear the same way as a regular pad. All you need to do is rinse it in cold water and you can wash it in the washing machine or by hand.

Tampons

Tampons are usually made of cotton and inserted into the vagina to absorb the blood. Most tampons come inside a plastic applicator which helps to push the cotton tampon up into the vagina, and is then thrown away. Tampons can be left in for 4-8 hours depending on your flow.

The tampon has a string attached to the end that stays outside the vagina while you’re wearing it. When it’s time to remove the tampon, simply pull on the string and gently pull it out.

Sometimes the tampon string can be lost up inside the vagina. If you suspect this, do not be afraid to attend your doctor who can easily remove it after a simple examination.

In rare cases, there is a risk of toxic shock syndrome (TSS) when using tampons. This is an infection caused by a growth of bacteria called staphylococcus aureus, usually caused by leaving a tampon in for too long or by using super-absorbent tampons. TSS is extremely rare, but it can be fatal. This is why it’s very important to change your tampon every 4-8 hours.

Menstrual cups

A menstrual cup is a small, flexible, reusable cup, usually made of silicone that you insert into the vagina and sits just below the cervix. The cup creates a seal and collects the blood which can then be poured into the toilet when you remove the cup. The cup can usually stay in for six to twelve hours, depending on how heavy your flow is, and generally collects more blood than a tampon.

The type of cup you need can depend on things like your age and whether or not you’ve given birth.

Menstrual cups can be tricky to get the hang of at first, and some people find the learning process frustrating and messy. However, after a few tries, most people can insert and remove it easily. They are also more expensive to buy, but since they are reusable you will save money in the long run because you won’t need to buy pads or tampons each month.

Period underwear

Period underwear is becoming more and more popular, with a lot of online retailers selling different kinds of period-proof underwear. They are usually made of super-absorbent, leak proof material and look and feel like regular underwear. They can be used as a backup to a menstrual cup or tampon, or used on their own. You can choose underwear based on a light, medium, or heavy flow. When you’re finished wearing them, you can rinse them out and then put them in a cold wash.

Having an eating disorder is like being in an emotionally abusive relationship – with your Siamese twin. Better yet, it’s like being trapped in a room on the top floor of a burning building. Your only escape from the fire that surrounds you is the source that started the fire in the first place. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface.

Something which started out as a monster in the closet of your childhood bedroom, which grew louder as time went on. It started out simple, with rules to follow. You were not an addict. You had too much discipline to be one of those. Then the rules kept changing, distorting your world and twisting themselves around you until two people lived inside of your body. Every birthday party, every Christmas, every single conversation you ever had was swallowed whole by this monster you’d become. Every photograph was drenched in fear and counting, every memory was stolen by size. 

When you have a phobia of water, you don’t go swimming. If you are afraid of heights, it’s likely you won’t be climbing any mountains. But let’s just say your biggest fear was the air. And you couldn’t live without it. The thing you are afraid of is the thing you need to survive. With an eating disorder, it is as complex as having a fear of the air… because you cannot avoid your enemy. Your only medicine is the very source of your pain.

So you ask yourself, why do I do it? If I could only figure out why, I could find a way to change it. When I started asking myself these questions, I began to keep track of the ways in which I’d interact with people and with myself, how I reacted to the world that spun around me. I noticed a number of things.

The first was that it was very difficult to keep a log of how you interact with people when you really don’t do a whole lot of interacting. I realised I actually spent very little time interacting with people on a personal level. This lead me to the realisation that I was so unused to other people’s company due to my obsessive organising, dietary restrictions and exercise that I believed people were the source of my fears. If I could avoid people then I could do things perfectly and make myself better, which of course was not the truth.

The second thing I realised was that when my life was not in a ‘stressful phase’, I’d magically start to recover – until something stressful happened and I could just say it was a circumstantial relapse. These stressful phases arrived in two main categories; relationships and college. So when I tried to stay on the well-adjusted path and veer towards a more fed future, something else had to take the edge away. Something else had to keep me still while the world spun on.

I’d call myself ‘recovered’, while I fed the monster with alcohol or people who made me feel empty. I’d find the human equivalent of the voice in my head and I’d start dating him, and eventually I’d go right back down the rabbit hole, or the toilet bowl. And eventually what I realised was that there was no material way of filling that void. There was no quick fix. I wanted my memories back, I wanted to be that friend or that daughter in the photographs in real life. I wanted to look at me and my friends at the lake and see the happy memory, not the one I knew where I spent the whole day counting. I had spent so much time trying to figure out why I was the way I was and I thought I had it figured out, so I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t fix it. I thought I had all the answers, but what could I do with them? Did understanding the root cause of my fears mean that I could finally escape them?

The answer is bleak, but the answer is no. The reason for this is the mind is a labyrinth, an ever twisting and distorting place where the rules are always changing. The source of the problem when you were five is not the source of the problem now. You are not as you were. Your addictions grow up with you. They morph with you. They graduate with you. So maybe the best thing to do is to stop asking yourself; why am I the way that I am?

The answers are not sitting inside a folder in a cranky file cabinet in the doctor’s office. They’re not swimming in the bottom of a gin and tonic that should have been left at the bar, or sitting in your childhood bedroom wrapped safely in the warm blankets of a home you once knew. That would be too easy. And life is not, nor will it ever be easy. The answer changes every day, with every new person you meet, every new problem that comes your way. The world will not stop spinning. So stop trying to make it stand still, and learn to become part of the chaos – as you are, as of now.

As I entered the first class of final year, I couldn’t help but notice the deep breaths and sighs amongst my classmates as we came to the realisation of what’s to come – final projects and dissertations. 

I could not resist thinking about and missing my Erasmus semester, a time when dissertations and final projects were a world away and when everyday brought something new. 

Utrecht, a vibrant, beautiful and unsung city, located in the Netherlands is where I chose to spend my Erasmus semester. Utrecht stole my heart with its winding canals, breath-taking architecture and peaceful parks. 

Erasmus+ (European Community Action Scheme for the Mobility of University Students) is a European Union programme which gives students the opportunity to study or train abroad and improve their educational and social skills. It also allows students to live and study in another European country for up to a year and experience a new way of life. 

The experience

I arrived in a rainy, cold Utrecht to my 17th floor apartment on the campus of Utrecht Science Park. I felt scared and anxious of what was to come. Who will I be living with? Who are my classmates? Is this going to be the ‘time of your life’ which so many students who studied abroad say? 

The first days were daunting, which is natural when you move to a new city and throw yourself into a new culture. However, there was no time to dwell because number one on the agenda was to buy a bike. In no time, I was cycling during the chaotic rush hour of Utrecht and feeling at home. 

My first class at Hogeschool Utrecht, Monday, 9am. Reality. Although, this was not your typical 9am lecture. It was an introduction and bonding session with fellow classmates and professors who were from all over the world. It is very rare to have the opportunity to study alongside such a diverse and international group. Our professors were enthusiastic, engaging, passionate and eager to get to know us as individuals. The modules were wide-ranging and enjoyable. For example we embarked on a class trip to Berlin and were asked to travel Europe for three weeks, not bad eh? It was easy to travel around the continent via train or bus for a low price, one of the many benefits the European Union has to offer its citizens. 

Utrecht has such a fantastic student life with weekly parties, trendy bars, small festivals, and daily activities such as cycle routes to explore and boats to rent. 

The statistics

Over the last five years, many colleges have seen an increase in students studying abroad at partner European universities. DIT has the highest number of participants. In the 2017/18 academic year alone, DIT sent 549 students to partner universities. 

Peter Dalton, Erasmus coordinator at DIT said: “The significance of the Erasmus+ programme is life changing for students. It allows students to broaden their horizons, both academically and personally. Any student who undertakes an Erasmus abroad, from an employability point of view, in the years ahead will stand out amongst the rest. It shows an employer that a student can adapt to change and learn new cultures. The Erasmus+ programme is an academic and personal journey in life that should be experienced by all students.”

UCD have sent over 2,000 students abroad over the past five years. UCD student, Jane Moloney, took part in the Erasmus+ programme in the 2017/18 academic year. Jane said: “I originally chose to go on Erasmus because I was not overly happy with the course I was doing in UCD. I decided that if I went away for a year it would really stand to me in my future careers and set me aside from my peers when applying for jobs and graduate programmes.” 

Jane, said a year away from Dublin did her the world of good as she had the opportunity to experience a new lifestyle and culture. “It is so important for students to take part in the Erasmus+ programme because there are so many different countries right on our doorstep in Europe.” Jane said her time abroad allowed her to become more confident and independent. “I gained, not only an international degree and international experience, but also international friends and connections that will last a lifetime.” 

Five things you should know about Erasmus

Preparation

If participating in the Erasmus+ programme is on your agenda, first thing is to attend an Erasmus information talk. This gives you a sense of what’s in store and where you can study. If you already have a city in mind, all the better. With a host university decided, ideally talk to someone who has studied there to give you a small feel of it.

There is a lot of paperwork due before your departure. Forms and letters are sent back and forth between you, your home college and chosen college abroad, however this is all part of the process and worth it in the end. 

Friendships

Of course, the purpose of Erasmus is to study but the social aspect plays a huge role in the overall experience. The Erasmus Student Network (ESN) organise various events and parties throughout the semester. Their goal is to connect internationals with locals and give students a chance to meet people outside of their class and apartment. ESN are located in 40 countries across Europe. I strongly advise signing up to the ESN in your chosen city. A huge benefit of the Erasmus+ programme is making new friends and connecting with internationals.

Culture 

Familiarise yourself with the most efficient and ‘local’ ways of getting around your chosen city, for example purchasing a bike in the Netherlands. Meet locals through ESN and discover the must-do and see parts of the city, as well as exploring other cities in your chosen country.   

Money

Unfortunately, like everything, Erasmus costs money. ‘Start saving now’ is the advice I was given months before my departure. Having extra cash in your pocket allows you to travel around Europe and your chosen country. 

Study

Sometimes it is hard to balance socialising and studying when abroad. There’s always an unmissable event and new friendships to be made, but on the other hand, there’s always a paper due or an exam looming. Maintaining a balance between the two is key. 

As our Erasmus came to an end, saying goodbye to friends and the now sunny and warm city of Utrecht was tough and emotional. I travelled back to Ireland with a heavy heart but with the fondest and happiest of memories and long-lasting friendships. Every Erasmus experience varies, however if your course gives you the chance to study abroad, grab it and enjoy every moment. 

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

If you saw me with my friends or even walking down a street alone you would probably think I am a happy and confident person. However, I am in fact the complete opposite. I struggle hugely with low self-esteem and I find it difficult to like anything about myself. In the past year I have had two suicide attempts and I also suffer with self-harm. However, I think this would surprise many people I’m not close to as I’m always smiling and look happy.

I was seeing a child and adolescent psychiatrist in Dublin when I first tried to take my own life. I told them how I was feeling, the way I viewed myself and how different it is to the way other people see me. However, while I was talking to the psychiatrist I was smiling as I was talking. The psychaist then said that I didn’t need medication because I looked happy.

It was extremely frustrating for my mother and I as it felt like we weren’t being listened to. I was angry with myself for coming across “happy” because inside I was in such a negative space. It was a judgement that was made about how I look. It felt like my feelings about myself and the world had just been cast aside because I hid how I was really feeling.

I had a similar experience after my second suicide attempt. I talked about how I constantly felt low and it never really changed. I talked about how my self-image is entirely different to how other people see me. However, they said to me that a person with a smile like that can’t be depressed.

These were two separate psychiatrists who had told me that I looked happy. However, if someone is happy they don’t have suicidal ideation or self-harm. It’s really frustrating to be told that you can’t have a mental illness because you look too cheerful.

It’s something I personally think really needs to change. I find it hard to express my emotion and I like to smile when I am around people. It shouldn’t automatically mean that I am okay. I am really lucky because I have tons of support and help around me but what about people that don’t? We can’t turn people away because they don’t match the stereotypical look of someone who is struggling.  

After I faced these challenges I found other support that really helped me and there are so many supports out there that could benefit you if you have had a similar experience or if you just need support. I found a counsellor I really like and who understands what I’m going through. For me counselling is hugely beneficial and has helped me realise where my problems have come from and how to change the way I see myself. Youth groups have also helped me to get involved with other people and have helped me feel so much more confident. It has also helped me realise that there are so many people beyond my family that care about my wellbeing and how I feel.

There are so many different supports, clubs and groups that can help, offer advice and support. Just knowing that there is a friendly face who is there for you can be extremely helpful. There are so much support out there that goes beyond mental health services and professionals  that can make a huge difference. Linking in with people in my community has given me so much hope and courage to deal with things that I’m feeling. It really has helped me immensely and I encourage you to find things that you are passionate about and love doing.

This article was written by a SpunOut.ie volunteer. Check out our volunteering opportunities here and get in touch if you’re interested in getting involved.

Social media posts and social media ads may seem like the same thing to many of us.  However, knowing the difference can help us to decide whether or not we trust what we’re seeing online, or at least have a better understanding of where the things on our social media feeds are coming from.

What are social media posts?

A social media post is the content that is posted onto a profile or page on a social networking site such as Facebook, Instagram, or X. This includes the things that you or your friends share on social media, like a picture on Instagram, a status update on Facebook, or a snap on Snapchat.

Businesses and organisations also create social media posts for their pages. These posts will be shown to you when you visit their profile or will show up in your own feed if you have followed them. In marketing terms, this is an ‘organic’ post, which means it reaches an audience without any money behind it.

What are social media ads?

Social media ads are posts that a company has paid to show to a larger number of people. This can include ads that you see on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and X.

This is why you might sometimes see a post on Instagram or Facebook from an account you don’t follow. Usually, the ad will appear as ‘sponsored’ on your feed, and sometimes extra buttons will be added to the post, like ‘see more’ or ‘learn more’. This is usually seen on Facebook and Instagram ads. Looking out for these terms can help you to identify whether or not you’re looking at a paid post or an organic post.

Influencer ads

Sometimes, bloggers or influencers might post ads on their social media feeds. These kinds of ads might look like a normal ‘organic’ post, but they have actually been paid to share it, or they have received something for free in exchange for posting about it. Under the Advertising Standards Authority of Ireland (ASAI) guidelines, they must clearly say in their post that they have been paid – but this doesn’t always happen. Learn more about influencers here.

How do they decide who sees the ad?

People creating social media ads use something called ‘demographic targeting’ to decide who will see their ad. This means they can choose the location, age range, gender, and even interests of the person to show the ad to.

For example, an ad for a sporting goods company might target their posts at both males and females age 18-24 living in Cork, with an interest in running, cycling, swimming, football, and rugby.

Other kinds of targeting

Demographic targeting is just one of the ways that advertisers decide who will see their ad. They can also look at things like the type of phone you have, the language your phone is set to, and even if you’re using WiFi or data.

The pages you follow, the things you search for, and the websites you visit help to determine what your interests are. Your internet history also helps the system to predict your age and gender if they are not already provided on the social networking site that you use. If you say where you live on your profile, or if you have not turned off location sharing on your device (it is often switched on by default), the website can determine where you are.

This is why it’s important to regularly check your privacy settings on your devices and social media sites to ensure that you’re only sharing the information that you want to share.

Why do I keep seeing the same ad?

Some pages use something called ‘retargeting’, which means they can track whether or not you have shown any interest in their business or product. If you have ever visited a website once and then keep seeing their ads everywhere you go for the next week, that is because they are retargeting you to try and get you to come back to their website.

How can I stop seeing certain ads?

It is possible to let social media sites know what type of ads you are interested in, and if you’re repeatedly seeing an ad for something that is irrelevant to you – for example, ads for a football website when you don’t watch football – then you can remove yourself from that interest group. To do this, go into your settings and look for ‘Ads’ or ‘Ad Preferences’.

You can also let the site know that you don’t like the ad by hiding it from your feed, or reporting it if you think it’s inappropriate or if you don’t trust the source behind the ad.

Are social media ads a bad thing?

There is not necessarily anything wrong with a social media ad. Whoever has paid for it simply wants more people to see what it is that they’re promoting, and it can help people find the products they need or a website that they’re interested in. Many people in the digital marketing business would argue that their targeting methods can help to make sure you’re only seeing ads that you’re interested in, rather than ads that are completely irrelevant to you.

However, if you have seen an ad, it’s worth taking time to think about how it ended up in front of you, and also consider why they want to you to see it. What information have you shared about yourself that led to this ad appearing on your feed? Are they trying to sell you a product, or is it politically motivated? What do you know about the page behind the ad, and can you trust them?

Asking yourself these questions can help you to better understand the things that appear on your social media feeds every day, and can help you to make better decisions about the things that you do around the ads that you see.

The ads we see on our feeds are not always from brands or organisations we know and trust. Anyone can create a business profile on social media and start creating ads. Always pay attention to who is behind the ad and look for more information on the organisation. If you don’t trust it, report it to the social media site.

For more information on online safety, visit the spunout privacy & security section.

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